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Jessica Simpson Is Fat, Michael Phelps Smokes Weed Who Cares

Updated on February 3, 2009


It all started last week when all of the supposed “Entertainment News” shows kept showing the same three photos of Jessica Simpson in some high-waisted jeans that no one should ever wear with a big ass belt that subsequently also made her ass look bigger than big. It was on every channel. Was she fat? Was she just an average American girl? Should America celebrate her figure or damn her and her thighs to the hell that can only be reserved for people who didn’t manage to make the cut to get on The Biggest Loser and were certainly never going to be celebrities? Then over the weekend Britain’s OK Magazine came forward with the photos of Michael Phelps smoking from a bong. It had quotes from people who were there (who no doubt were looking for their own fleeting seconds of fame) who said, “He took to the bong like a fish to water. He knew exactly what he was doing.” And through it all I had to wonder, Jessica Simpson is fat, Michael Phelps smokes weed, just how slow of a news day does it have to be for this to be what everyone is talking about? – Don’t Get Me Started!

First allow me to go on record as saying that I don’t think Jessica Simpson is fat. I also want to go on record as saying that I have never nor do I ever imagine being interested in Jessica Simpson for very much so she could blow up like a tick and I really wouldn’t care. I don’t think that Jessica Simpson is the anti-Christ but I also don’t think she’s so talented that I would pre-order anything she had anything to do with on If I were Jessica Simpson’s publicist, I would be thrilled that anyone was talking about Jessica Simpson for any reason and I’m sure she feels the same way too. I love all the blogs that have rushed to her defense and that even days after the story “broke” that they’re all still covering it. Is there any reason for this? Do we need the escape from the economy and $20 Million in Wall Street bonuses that will never come our way so badly that we suddenly care about Jessica Simpson’s weight this much?

And what of Michael Phelps and his bong usage? Am I the only one who doesn’t care about this either? I have a friend who was simply outraged by the whole thing. She began her tirade from that unenviable position in an argument that she was a mother and that I wouldn’t know what it felt like to have impressionable children at home who look up to someone and see them doing drugs. Well, if that’s the case I would have been “over the rainbow” years ago with Judy Garland. While I loved her and loved everything she did, knowing she was a drug addict didn’t make me get up off of my knee from lip syncing to her version of “Swanee” looking to score some uppers. And isn’t a parent’s job to teach their kids that they can look up to someone but understand that humans are not perfect so they must be their own person and be the best person they can be themselves? In translation from my youth, “So, if Judy Garland jumped off a bridge you think you should too? Nice, you really want to kill you mother dead?”

I get it, a lot of people are celebrity crazy. Some people would think they won the lottery if they saw someone from the Real World out at dinner and they accidentally bumped into them. They would tell the story over and over again as if the biggest celebrity of all time had actually had some sort of interaction with them. But what I discovered long ago was that celebrities aren’t some special breed of human that deserves any more respect than the person who lives next door.  In fact celebrities seem to only be as good as their falls from grace. Because we love to build them up and knock them down. Still I don’t care that Jessica Simpson is fat, Michael Phelps smokes weed, just how slow of a news day does it have to be for this to be what everyone is talking about? – Don’t Get Me Started!

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    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 8 years ago from Las Vegas

      Melissa g - Right?!?

    • Melissa G profile image

      Melissa G 8 years ago from Tempe, AZ

      Nicely done, Scott. I share your not caring about these "issues" and I'm glad Judy Garland didn't lead you into a life of crime. :)