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Karma Loves Kitten Kissers

Updated on July 31, 2008

A friend of mine once told me that I was gold. That we are all gold.

To be fair, at the time, I thought he was being a bit over-generous by including everyone. But what did I know? At twenty years of age, I'd just entered that time in my life where I thought I had nothing more to learn. I had done my time, kindergarten through twelfth...and figured everyone was now entitled to my opinion. If I ever had an opportunity to relive my twenties, I'd pass. Two decades later, and I still wince in remembrance of the selfish, self-important creature that I had been.

Sometimes, I laugh at the idea of karma. In my mind, I imagine a little man standing before a balance scale weighing everything we do during the course of our lives. "Ooops, that was a bad thing she did" The little man adds a weight to the bad side...the size of the weight in proportion to the badness of the action. And then we kiss a kitten or something that gives everyone a communal case of the warm fuzzies. The little man smiles and adds a lot of weight to the good side....because in the rock, paper, scissors mentality of karma, we know good beats evil nearly every damn time! Just like in those Star Wars movies...

This dog is gathering good karma!
This dog is gathering good karma!

Looking back though, I can better understand that even back then I was gold. A very crappy chunk of ore, with a lot of impurities....but still gold.

Call it fate, call it bad luck, call it karma's payback...I became the poster child for personal disasters. My family began to get used to it. My brother once even went so far as to thank me for pretty much sucking up all the available family misfortunes. I think what amazed them the most though was my ability to not only endure it, but then pop right back up like one of those inflatable clowns, looking for more.

These kittens are practicing the mutually beneficial good karma method
These kittens are practicing the mutually beneficial good karma method

You know those sayings, "That which does not kill me, makes me stronger," or "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade?" They sound sort of funny at first, don't they? We had the lemonade sign hanging up in the room of my second grade class. It always struck me as humorous. But after years of nearly choking to death on lemons, the perspective changes. It's a badge of show that you survived the worst that life could throw at you, be stronger for it...and less thirsty. If you'd had the foresight to build a lemonade stand and charge fifteen cents a glass, you'd probably be wealthy too.

I have another theory.

Vladmir Putin has the right idea...but wrong subject.  Not too mention he comes across as a pervert.
Vladmir Putin has the right idea...but wrong subject. Not too mention he comes across as a pervert.

We ARE gold. Impure and unrefined at first, we are tested by many fires in our lifetime. Each time we manage to get through to the other side of that blaze, we are better for it. Our value increases. Each and everyone IS gold...and while the value maybe be different dependent on the impurities, the amount of gold is still the same. I think Leo Tolstoy said it best.

"Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its growth, but by washing away from it all that is not gold."

So when I'm having a really bad day, week, life...I try not to consider that little man by the balance scale. I try not to wonder how on earth I managed to pile so much weight on the bad side. Instead, I concentrate on getting through it with as much grace as possible. Good karma, bad karma...whatever...I'm a more valuable chunk of ore.

Just to be on the safe side though...I'm going to go out and kiss a few kittens.

Fluffy demonstrates the proper way to kiss a kitten.
Fluffy demonstrates the proper way to kiss a kitten.


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    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Tsk made the usual freshman mistake of confusing kissing kittens with your average sex kittens. No wonder Mrs Evilpants was a bit miffed. Karma doesn't care about sex kitten kissing simply because most sex kittens are in it for the money...and since money is the root of all results in bad karma, usually in the form of an angry wife.

      I leave how to make money off of bodily byproducts in the expert hands of Shade.

    • B.T. Evilpants profile image

      B.T. Evilpants 

      10 years ago from Hell, MI

      Gold inside? How much gold are we talkin', here? How many people would I need to open up, to get rich? I tried to kiss a kitten, once. Mrs Evilpants got really jealous. Trust me when I say that I will NEVER make that mistake again!

    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Arizona, USA

      LOL! truly are the master punster :) and thank you!

    • sixtyorso profile image

      Clive Fagan 

      10 years ago from South Africa

      I think Putin his lips on a child's tummy is just too much. Unless he thinks he's a cool cat. That's a stretch! Frenching a cat is not on unless you are a masochist. the tongue is rough and hard and the whiskers prickle (so I hear) and then if you are allergic to cats hmm.

      I love the premise that we are all gold inside.

      Really great hub.

    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Arizona, USA

      LOL! can almost hear that kid's thoughts. "This is definitely a BAD touch."

    • Shadesbreath profile image


      10 years ago from California

      Either that or he's a sicko. Probably just a politician trying to look like a nice, family type guy and, being not one, he had no idea how.

    • spryte profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Arizona, USA

      Damned if I be fair, I hadn't planned on putting in pictures of cat frenching when I whimsically wrote the line about kissing kittens. But then...well when I saw that picture of Putin, I just had to. Do you think that in Russia it's considered cool to blow raspberries on children's tummies?

    • Shadesbreath profile image


      10 years ago from California

      I agree, we do have to look past our flaws and find the goldness inside, and we can make efforts balance out that scale. I'm not sure frenching a cat will do it, but, I mean, what do I know. lol. (WTF is Putin doing in that picture anyway?)


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