Look Out - I'm On A Voter's High!
I know, I'm with you, if I hear any more about the elections I'll just spit. It's all been months and months of insanity and who can listen to one more speech or worse, another pundit who we've never heard of before who has an opinion? Not I. So as I was driving home from work last night I decided that although I had heard more than I cared to about all the horrendous lines I would bite the bullet and early vote. Little did I know what would happen? Little did I know what a crazy rush would occur. I'm on a voter's high - Don't Get Me Started!
For me it started last weekend. Equipped with my workbook that came in the mail, I got on the Internet and started doing all the research I could. Unfortunately for me (and I'm sure many more voters out there) besides the presidential bunch it's really tough to find out any info on all the judges and others that you're going to be voting for in the election. All I ever want when election time comes around is for a website or something that will tell you exactly how these candidates feel about all the major issues and/or have voted on them but let me just tell you that all you find are a bunch of people like yourself who are giving opinions on their blog or on someone else's blog and you really have to wonder just how accurate this information is at all. So in my frustration I began looking around at sites like HRC (Human Rights Campaign) to see if they might be able to help me. Well, they could to a point but once again, not about the judges. Finally I found a site from a local gay magazine that had "their picks" and although I was grateful for finding it and the opinions they gave there was at least one race between two judges where they simply threw both their hands in the air and we're like, "We don't know, we don't like either of these guys." And although the Internet and television is filled with negative ads I did my best to retain my sunny disposition for after all, I HAD filled out my workbook and now all I needed was an early voting place.
What they show you on the news are all the people waiting for hours and hours on line to get to vote so when I was leaving work and pulling up to the grocery store where they have the early voting, I looked at my watch and saw that it was about 5:37pm and the voting was only open until 6pm. Would I make it? I saw a line but it didn't look too bad. So I parked and stood on the line. It's kind of funny when you look around on line waiting to vote. You can't help but wonder who everyone else is voting for, right? The black woman with the word "Juicy" barely still visible on her ass from a sweat suit that was bought (and fashionable) more years ago than any of us like to remember would surely be voting Obama (not because she was black but because she seemed in my estimation like a lot of us, used to be wearing the latest, hottest clothing but had to let her fashion sense ride a little with the recent economy - she looked like she needed change...at least a change in clothing). The man behind me was white and in his seventies with a flannel shirt and a trucker hat on. Was it wrong of me to assume that he would be voting for McCain? Maybe, but I suspect that he would cast his vote that way. And then there was the chubby white college aged looking girl right in front of me. Who would she be voting for? I couldn't tell she was an enigma!
Finally Senior Citizen Number 1 waved me over to the six foot sign in table. (What would the elections do without senior citizen's to man the polls? I love it and them...hope we continue to increase our awareness of just how much we don't take care of the elderly in the US - but I digress). I handed my workbook over to the woman at the table and she scanned it, asking me to sign on line 5. I did a quick signature and then she looked at me with disdain. She said, "That won't do, you'll have to try again." And with this she spun her monitor around to show me that much like my brown (which is now gray, brown and a few other colors that I have no idea how they got there) hair and gut, my signature had gotten sloppy. I didn't know that if you had your book they didn't look at your ID that they did a signature match. But clearly I hadn't done a good job and I was embarrassed at my inability to have the nice penmanship I had four years ago or whenever it was that they got this signature. As she handed me my plastic card to vote the panic set in. What was I supposed to do with this? What if I didn't remember how to vote? What if I screwed it up so badly that they expelled me from voting all together? I mean, between my bad signature and now not knowing what to do with the card...that's when Senior Citizen Number 3 waved me over to Senior Citizen Number 4, who directed me to a voting machine.
Clutching my workbook a little too hard and starting to sweat I stepped up to my terminal to vote. I put the card in but it popped right back out (like bad sex). Then I pushed it in harder and it stayed. I have to say that if you've filled out your workbook and you have these machines, the whole voting thing is a total breeze. I went through like Santa and checked my list twice, hit the button, the card came out, I walked over to Senior Citizen Number 5 who took the card and gave me my "I Voted" sticker.
As I walked out into the grocery store (it was sort of like a ride at Disneyland that "let's you out" at the gift shop) I felt something strange. Was that my back that was a little straighter? Was that my head held higher than I had held it in months? Was that my chest that was out a little further? Why yes, all of those were true. I had voted and there was a rush that came over me that suddenly wanted hot dogs, apple pie and to buy a new thimble for Betsy Ross. I cared that the Phillies would win the World Series (OMG, the voting made me butch or at least care that the team that is from my birthplace should win the Series) Though I sometimes hate to admit it, I'm pretty cynical on the whole but not today, not now that I cast my vote. And as I walked out of the grocery store I felt like a true American (especially when I saw someone had let a shopping cart run into my car and had just left it there so I took it out on the cart by practically throwing it into the area where carts were collected) But even this injustice couldn't force my shoulders to hunch forward and turn me back into a negative Nelly. No, I'm on a voter's high - Don't Get Me Started!
Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com