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Lynne Spears, Big Mac Guy? Why Are All The Wrong People Writing Books?

Updated on September 11, 2008

Long have I marveled at the people who decide to write books. Not so much the ones that write novels or fiction but the ones who feel that they have an experience that they simply must share in a published format with the world. The two recent books I've read about have me asking yet another question of the world at large. Why are all the wrong people writing books? - Don't Get Me Started!

The first book I read about (online, thank you very much) was the one that Britney's mother, Lynne is writing. It's going to tell all about her trials, tribulations and no doubt some undulations by both her and her trampy daughters. Now I'm not a mother (though it IS part of what I've been called from time to know, "motherf*#ker?" which by the way couldn't be further from the truth but I digress) but I don't think that there are any mothers out there who are looking or could possibly relate to Lynn Spears experience. (Unless it's Lindsey Lohan's mother who will undoubtedly be writing her book at any moment) So why? What is the reason for her writing this book other than the obvious fact that she can make some money because there are enough "fans" of Britney and Jamie Lynn who will want to know some gory details? I don't get it I tell you but I do have an idea for the cover of the book. I think that Lynne should recreate that famous shot of Britney getting out of the limo and show her vagina with both girls falling out. You know sort of animated in a comical kind of way. Or maybe she should just put the picture of Britney shaving her head on the cover with a title of "Momma said there'd be days like this..." Anyway you look at it I can't begin to imagine that it will be informative though it may give "Celebrity Parenting for Dummies" a run for its money.

The second book is from a man in Wisconsin who claims to have eaten 36,000 Big Macs in thirty-six years. Oooh, there's a riveting kind of book. I wonder what happens on the last page besides heart disease? Actually the man tells all about how he is 6'2" and is a healthy 182 pounds so perhaps it won't be heart disease. He consumes two Big Macs at a sitting but gave up the fries in the 1980's on his daily menu and saves them for a special once a month occurrence. He can only remember three times missing days where he was eating his Macalicious treat, one was the day of his mother's funeral as he had made her a promise not to eat Big Mac's that day (I don't know if it was out of respect or disgust, either way, she had to be looking down from heaven very proud that day), another day was when a winter storm caused his local McDonald's not to open and finally he missed a day when he was traveling and couldn't find a McDonald's. He has since remedied the weather thing by keeping several Big Macs in his freezer. (Can you even imagine what those taste like out of the freezer? On second thought, if you've ever had one, you've had one out of the freezer I'm thinking...but the pickles, onions, lettuce, special sauce, etc. after it's been microwaved?) So that's what I learned online and unless it's a pop-up book or something that just "has to be seen" I think I've pretty much got the story and don't need to by the book or God forbid, see the movie should it be made.

I'm no different than these people really because I too feel that I have a book in me. So I guess I'm living in my Waterford house and shouldn't throw stones. But I think the story of the DMV putting that I was a woman on my driver's license and refusing to change it back or the ten reasons I won't ever be a male prostitute are more insightful and entertaining than either of these tomes that are about to published. But damn it all, I don't have celeb daughters out of control or the gullet for 36,000 Big Macs so I guess I'll have to settle for just posting my rants online and hoping that a publisher from somewhere stumbles upon them and asks me to write the story of my life. "It was the best of times, it was the gayest of times..." Why are all the wrong people writing books? - Don't Get Me Started!

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    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 9 years ago from Las Vegas

      Oh My God Yes, and I walked around with it for three years...

      You can read those blogs (some of my first) here...

    • profile image

      Sean 9 years ago

      Did the DMV really put down your gender wrong ?

    • Stacie Naczelnik profile image

      Stacie Naczelnik 9 years ago from Seattle

      I think the Bic Mac guy was in the movie Supersize Me. He only eats the Big Mac sandwiches and (I think) rides his bike, so he gets exercise too. He doesn't get a meal or overeat in other areas.

      I'd love to read a Some Like It Scott Tells All book

    • Amanda Severn profile image

      Amanda Severn 9 years ago from UK

      You're so right! Celeb bios are bad enough, but when all the hangers-on get in on the act it all gets a bit tiresome. Still, people must be buying them, or they wouldn't get published. There's an old saying; 'One man's meat is another man's poison.' and that's certainly true of the big mac book. It won't be on my Christmas list!

    • starrkissed profile image

      starrkissed 9 years ago from Arizona

      LOL -- the vagina cover sounds perfect. I didn't realize she was writing a book, but it wasn't unexpected. Seems like everyone is doing it now. Honestly, I hope it damages the girls' career, because they're not contributing anything good to society nowadays. Did you see that Paris is having a documentary made about her? o.o

      This Big Mac guy... 2 big macs in one sitting everyday? And he's HEALTHY? I need his trick, then. I don't see what in the world could possibly be put in a book about that to make it longer than 10 pages.