ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Maury And Dr Phil Make Me Feel Better About Me

Updated on June 5, 2007

Maury and Dr. Phil Make Me Feel Like A Better Man - Don't Get Me Started!

I don't know what it is, human nature? That we need to see others suffering more than us to make us feel better about our situation or station in life but on my lowest days I just don't know what I would do without these shows to give me a much needed lift about how I view my life. Maury and Dr. Phil make me feel like a better man - Don't Get Me Started!

Any knowledge I have can be attributed to what I learned from musicals. The one thing I know for sure is that this is what they were singing about in the song, "Schadenfreude" from the show, Avenue Q is dead on. It states that schadenfreude is a German word which means "happiness at the misfortune of others" and of course it also appeals to my sense of Jewish consciousness that it's a German word!

When I watch those shows with the women who are testing the four hundredth guy who may possibly be the father of one of the seventeen kids she has or see Dr. Phil trap a family in a house filled with cameras to watch them self destruct, I can't help but think, "Well, at least my family isn't that bad." I mean, sure we're co-dependent (we're Jews for Chrissakes) and get on one another's nerves but I can't see my mother dragging my father onto the Maury show to hear, "Joe, you are NOT the father." Mainly because my brother and I look exactly like our Dad and at this point in our lives we've resigned ourselves to the fact that we are a family of short Jews with lots of cancer running through our family tree. (Some things you learn to accept with time and age.)

Yesterday on Maury they had on kids that were morbidly obese because they are being overfed by their parents or grandparents. (Morbidly obese is being kind. These toddlers look like the Michelin Man or the big Stay-Puf Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters) I don't get it frankly. Growing up we got to eat whatever we wanted but I never had my grandmother feed me so much I threw up (like the grandmother on this show). It seems ridiculous that these people claim they don't know why their two-year-old child is a hundred pounds when they are feeding them an entire rasher of bacon, Twinkies and curly fries hourly. This hardly seems to require a show about it or the (Maury regular) sweater vest with no shirt wearing huge black guy (who we have no idea what his credentials are, other than he must really have some smelly sweater vests not wearing at least a t-shirt under them) to come and yell at these parents. Maury should stick to the paternity and "Is it a she or he" shows.

Fast forward to Dr. Phil who has a family caught like rats in the Dr. Phil house. A family that spews venom at one another like a bunch of serpents, we watch as they destroy one another's spirit and general lives trying to be less like Molly Brown (saving people on the Titanic - Debbie Reynolds movie musical required watching for all of you, The Unsinkable Molly Brown) and more like the iceberg itself. Dr. Phil comes in occasionally to shake things up, yell at everyone and I guess give what could be considered therapeutic advice but you definitely feel as if this family is headed for destruction and all you can do is slow your car down and try to look while you're trying to not really look and stop traffic, looking at their misfortune thanking your lucky stars that it isn't you.

Don't get me wrong, I do have compassion for these people. Come on, you're talking to the guy who can't watch Extreme Home Makeover without getting dehydrated from sobbing so much. But I'm also a firm believer that we create our own hell for ourselves right here on earth and these people seem to excel in doing just that to themselves. And isn't the whole, "Thank God it isn't me" factor exactly what gives these shows their high ratings? That mob mentality of preying on the weaker than is what keeps the animal kingdom in check after all, doesn't it?

Well in the words of the "Elephant Man" - "I am not an animal, I am a human being." I feel for these people and am not someone with the greatest self esteem myself but when I watch these shows, I can't help but think, "At least I'm not the Elephant Man, Sh'quandry looking for a baby's daddy or being put in the Doctor Phil house (yet)." I know exactly what to do. I'll go get a Peppermint Mocha from Starbucks (self medication) and say a little prayer that there are people out there who have it worse than me (also including in my prayer that I hope they find a way to make things better for themselves) and be okay that I feel a little bit better that I'm not one of them. Maury and Dr. Phil make me feel like a better man - Don't Get Me Started!

Read more Scott @


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.