Miley Cyrus Drinks Ketchup On Video - World Goes Mad
As I wandered through the web today, I found featured on the Yahoo homepage, this startling headline. 'Cyrus Drinks Ketchup', along with a link to a video, so that people could watch the amazing spectacle for themselves. Suffice to say I was like oh my gosh, can you believe it? Miley Cyrus is, like, on television, and she like, has this bottle of ketchup, and she, like, she like, is drinking it! Oh my gosh!
Some people say that the obsession our society has with celebrities is unhealthy. I say it's just ridiculos. I would say it was retarded, but that would be an insult to retarded people, who very rarely give a damn about what Miley Cyrus does, on acount of the fact that they generally have their priorities more straightened out than the rest of us theoretically fully functioning human beings.
But why get so up in arms about an innocent and quirky story about Miley being featured in the top billing spot on the front page of one of the world's largest sites?
Well, here's a few far more important and infinitely more interesting things that also happened today that weren't featured on the Yahoo Front Page:
A dog licked itself.
These stories are true stories of tragedy, villany, and the indomintable strength of the human spirit, yet instead of featuring any of these stories at the top of their home page, Yahoo went with the Miley Cyrus story. Strange, don't you think?
I'm not going to get on Yahoo's case about this, because lets face it, Yahoo makes its daily bread by giving the people what they want, and apparently what the people really want, and what people really care about is video of the spoiled brat of an 80's pop country idol drinking ketchup on television.
If this isn't representative of a numbing of humanity, then I don't know what is. If Martin Luther King Jr's 'I have a dream' speech had been given today, I have a feeling his video clip would have been featured quite a way under the Miley Cyrus one.
Fair enough though, I never saw Martin Luther King Jr drink any ketchup or engage in any other hallarous hijinks. To be honest, I'm surprised anyone paid any attention to him at all.
Anyway, like, whatever, Miley drank ketchup. She's like, so cool.