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More On Holiday Sweaters And Why You Shouldn’t Wear Them

Updated on December 6, 2007

Last week I wrote a blog about a woman I saw wearing one of those God-awful hideous holiday sweaters (read that blog here...Ladies do the world a favor and just don't wear that holiday sweater, okay? ) Well, the response from that blog has been overwhelming (to say the least) and I've loved every minute of it. I adore that most people out there hate these sweaters as much as I do and through our hatred grew a sense of community and love. (Okay, not really but I'm trying to elevate our bitchiness so just go with me for a moment) And so it came to pass that I needed to write more on holiday sweaters and why you shouldn't wear them - Don't Get Me Started!

So the thing is that almost everyone agrees that these things are hideous however there were also people who wrote in who adore their holiday sweaters. One hubber from wrote in to tell me about her sweater that makes her feel like a mirror ball and how she wouldn't give it up for all the sense in the land of common. (She was also on her way to Vegas and had just packed said sweater before commenting on the blog) God love her, forgive her for she knows not what she does.

Then there was a pal from high school who I recently reunited with from one of the many sites that cater to people who are trying to either correct the wrongs of their past, find a date or re-live their high school days by reconnecting with high school chums (she falls into none of these categories). She is now a mother of seven hundred or something and lives in Iowa, works out every minute, lost six sizes or something insane last year and has time to send me long emails which she knows fill me with enormous guilt when I don't respond fast enough or feel as though I've put enough content into an email to her. At any rate, she was so taken by the sweater blog that she offered herself up for mocking by sending me these photos of herself in her "once a year" (yeah, right) sweater. Dear God, this thing looks awful. I love the cowl collar to really make you feel as if you could immediately join the holiday circus meanwhile the big Christmas ball at the crotch to accent your business district is priceless. She also told me a fabulous story...

Once upon a time my old high school pal was at the Goodwill looking for costume pieces and she came across a woman who had a shopping cart filled to the brim with every ugly holiday sweater she could get her hands on. (Let me take this time to say that I think it's rather cruel to send these things to Goodwill as these things need to be destroyed and not passed on or around.) I guess the sales woman (while delighted to get this crap off her hands) asked the woman why she was buying all of these sweaters (and of course my pal was in earshot and drank in every word). The woman proceeded to tell the clerk that she was purchasing them for an annual "Ugly Sweater Party" that she hosted. How fabulous is that, huh? Though let me just say that if I was invited to one I wouldn't go and if I did go I wouldn't want someone giving me a sweater to wear upon arrival. Maybe it's like going to a fancy restaurant back in the day where if a man wasn't wearing a sports coat when he entered they gave him one to wear during his dining experience.

The point is that no matter how much most everyone knows they're ugly, the ladies they still love to wear them. I don't get it but I love that it's always these white Christian women who are wearing them. Now let me say that the Jewesses love a glitzy sweater from time to time too but you can best believe they don't wear them with dradels and gelt all over them. No, the holiday sweater is for the goyim, God love them. I remember when I lived in Delaware where everything is "Delaware blue" (this awful mock-country kitchen light blue color) the women there think that a red scarf is too daring to wear in public, even if they did buy it at Talbots. During the holidays these women would put those sweaters on and as my guy says, "You couldn't tell them nothing!"

So go ahead, no one can stop you and look, even friends like mine in their forties can't be stopped. Though I beg of you, be careful with these holiday creations because not only do they look incredibly flammable when you sit down it looks as if Frosty the Snowman is trying to blow himself! more on holiday sweaters and why you shouldn't wear them - Don't Get Me Started!

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    • profile image

      Carols2wow 9 years ago

      It happens that I do not own any Christmas sweaters, but if people didn't like them, they wouldn't still be sold. Obviously, more people like them than don't. So, for those who hate Christmas sweaters, I'd say they should not wear them and let those that enjoy them during the holiday season have their fun. Who are they hurting? I've heard the old jokes about fruitcake too, and yet that's still around as well.

      So, I say live and let live and the holiday season doesn't last that long, I think we can all put up with some things that give pleasure to others.

    • teeray profile image

      teeray 10 years ago from Canada

      Thus hub ROCKS! It's about TIME people GOT the message about holiday sweaters *looking in my closet* Oh thank goodness - I DID remember to throw those out. I was about to start having "It's getting close to Xmas dig the holiday sweater out" anxiety I don't have to go through that this year.

    • Earth Angel profile image

      Earth Angel 10 years ago

      I LOVE this Hub!! You are too, too funny Scott!! And just so everyone knows, Earth Angel is the Las Vegas "Disco Ball" (not mirror ball?? I'm older than you!!) Only one photo survived according to the camera man and I will forward it as soon as I receive a copy!! You are hilarious Scott!! Keep writing!! And I LOVE being fodder for humor!! Ha Ha Ha Ha Ho Ho Ho Ho!! Blessings!! Earth Angel!!