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Mr. Obama, What Stimulus Will Us “Single” Gays Be Afforded?

Updated on January 14, 2009


I voted for Mr. Barack Obama and more than anything I believe the man has been bequeathed one of the hardest jobs in the history of Presidents with the current world situation and the clean up he’s going to have to do. I also have the “HOPE” (that was his slogan) that he and the people that he surrounds himself with will bring about a better world (yes, I said it, I believe that much that this man is going to lead us into a better future the world over) but as I face my own personal economic demons I have to wonder, Mr. Obama, what stimulus will us “single” gays be afforded? – Don’t Get Me Started!

In the land of the free and the home of the brave where our Constitution tells us that “all men are created equal” in the eyes of the law, we gays continually find ourselves anything but equal. I’m not going to go into the whole marriage thing because I believe like many a gay and straightee do that marriage in of itself is a religious thing but what we gays really want are all of the rights afforded straightees in the eyes of the law who are “married” that are we should be afforded if there really was a separation of church and state. Some of us don’t long for the shoes and rice but do want the tax break. So those of you who find the fact that I have sex with the same sex  so revolting that you unintelligently compare it to bestiality or pedophiles, just stop right there. The laws on the books on sodomy have been abolished in I believe every state at this point. (And as we know, sodomy isn’t just for the gays kids!) I’m still a man who should be created equal in the eyes of the law. And as if having to pay more taxes because I’m single isn’t enough I’m also penalized because I don’t have children, this makes me crazy.

You see if you’re a single person without children you are screwed when it comes to taxes. That’s right, we have to pay so much more that it would seem as though the laws really want you to pop out as many kids as possible (maybe that’s why Maury’s show is so filled with baby’s daddies and the women who are 1000% sure that Dquan fathered her baby yet when the results are read that, “You are NOT the father” she can finally admit that she was having sex with seven hundred other men at that point too. Sorry Dquan!) If you choose to procreate, then you have made a choice to have both the joy and the burden of taking care of that child. Why should you get some sort of break to continue to over populate the world? For those who blame us gays as the end of civilization for not procreating, first of all you’re living under a rock because some of us do procreate and some of us even clean up after your straightee messes by adopting your children that you had but don’t want (sometimes getting the worst of the bunch because in some places gays are only given the children with serious health issues that no one else will adopt). I don’t want people to stop having children, I just don’t think the rest of us should have to pay for your children or pay double simply because we don’t have children. I want my taxes going to schooling because after all, one of this country’s most broken systems is our educational systems but I don’t want my money going to those women who can’t close their legs or men who refuse to put on a condom just because they’re irresponsible and it resulted in a child. They get screwed, make a baby and then us single people get screwed paying for both the child and the parents.

Which brings me to the stimulus checks that we received this past year. I don’t know what you received but I received a check somewhere in the neighborhood of fifty dollars. That’s right. Woo, where will I spend all that money to help myself and the economy? So as the new President takes office and begins to talk of a stimulus program, I can only hope that this time we gays (who have to remain “single” under the law – even though in my case I’ve been with the same man for over twenty years) and single people are finally treated “equal” as the Constitution promises us. At the very least we need to begin to ask the question, Mr. Obama, what stimulus will us “single” gays be afforded? – Don’t Get Me Started!

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