ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

No Pancho For Paris Hilton

Updated on June 4, 2007

No Pancho For Paris Hilton - Don't Get Me Started!

Well, Paris has started her jail term and should be back out around 23 days from now. What will we do without her? Um, I don't know, live our lives perhaps? We'll see how long she actually stays in and if the correctional system can stand her for that period of time. The big concern (of course) is who and how they're going to get a camera in to jail to get a photo of Paris behind bars. It could bring as much as $500,000 they're claiming and everyone but everyone is trying to not get a file past the prison guards but a Nikon or any other kind of camera. As I don't know how jail works, I'm assuming that cell phones are out of the question so no one can even snap a picture of her in the visitation area when her pals come to visit. The thing that makes this celeb prison time seem less interesting to me is that she is so self-centered and stupid. Although she has shown savvy in creating a high profile career for herself based on having no talent, I doubt in her single cell she'll have a large opportunity to get chummy with her prison mates like Martha Stewart did. And besides, at least Martha could teach them how to spruce up their cell, what does Paris have to offer to these people that would be of value? "No, those sunglasses are far too small for you. Unless they cover your entire face and parts of the sides of your head, they just aren't big enough." No, I can't see Paris being a prison favorite. No pancho for Paris Hilton - Don't Get Me Started!

The prison has claimed that although she'll have a private room, she'll have to abide by all the same rules as other prisoners including eating the same meals and observing bedtime at the same time as her prison gal pals. (Of course she won't be mixing and mingling too much with the prison population) So does that mean that although she'll be just like every other prisoner she'll be getting meals delivered in to her cell? And at Paris' weight does she look like she really eats anyway?

There have been additional rumors that Paris will spend her time writing in a journal so that she can publish a book upon her release from prison about her experiences. As I've never been one to get all starry eyed over the stars and their lives on a regular basis, when all she has to write about is herself, it could make for a very dull book. I see lots of doodling...smiley faces (drawn to look thinner than usual smiley faces) and lots and lots of stick figures. Think of Van Gogh's self portrait and then think of Paris' - a stick figure with a lot of hair and glasses with a disclaimer that says, "Actual Size." Some have said that she might actually have trouble finding a publisher for her tome but I find that hard to believe.

The bottom line here is that no one and I mean no one, whether it be the media, people around the water cooler or on school playgrounds should have any sympathy for Paris' predicament. She claims that she wants hers to be a cautionary tale for young people. Oh it is, believe me. Because I'm sure the majority of the youth in America are hotel heiresses that will encounter these problems. Yeah, right. And yet, it is a cautionary tale because although they may not come from the same wealth or privilege that Paris does at least now they will see that even Paris can get caught and so can they, except they won't get a private cell.

In a world where we treat our reality stars as if they've got talent because they put their every day spoiled lives on television screens, we can only hope that The Simple Life Prison Edition teaches Paris more than when she and Nicole trashed people's businesses, property and lives on their show. Is it wrong of me to hope that they make her scrub a toilet or two during her stay so that she really gets a taste of the simple life? Isn't that what the other prisoners have to do and after all, isn't she supposed to be treated just like the rest of them? Let's hope we don't have to hear Entertainment Tonight and the rest of the shows speculate on what she's doing every day for the next twenty-three days. Let's hope we can enter a world that is Paris-free for a few weeks and when it's all over, all the press can meet her at the door of the prison and see her take her jubilant steps to freedom. The only thing we can really be sure of is that she will not be wearing things made by her pals from the inside she'll no doubt have designers tripping over themselves to design her coming out outfit. No pancho for Paris Hilton - Don't Get Me Started!

Read more Scott @


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Guru-C profile image

      Cory Zacharia 10 years ago

      I don't suppose she'll have everyone singing "Like a Virgin"...