Now I Just Feel Sorry For Chris Crocker And All Of Us Gays
Now I Just Feel Sorry For Chris Crocker And All Of Us Gays - Don't Get Me Started!
When the video first broke of the fried blonde boy from Tennessee screaming and crying over the public's treatment of Britney Spears' performance at the MTV Video Music Awards, I watched and laughed with everyone. Then I watched as the media frenzy began and the headlines went crazy over the effeminate boy and his supposedly not acted performance on YouTube. But then I read an article on him and after seeing his appearance on the Jimmy Kimmel show last night, I honestly have to say that now I just feel sorry for Chris Crocker and all of us gays - Don't Get Me Started!
The local Vegas paper (The Las Vegas Review-Journal) carried a story last Saturday that started me thinking that perhaps Chris Crocker wasn't all eyeliner and hair flipping. In the article, while he talks briefly about his development deal for a new reality show, the makeup seems a bit thinner than usual as he tells of his teen parents not being able to raise him, living with his grandparents and saying that his grandparents can no longer attend church in their small town due to the media frenzy he's created (he refuses to name the town where he lives for fear of I guess even more media swooping down on him which is in direct conflict to his seemingly endless need for attention by his video blogs). So after reading this article, I started to feel a little sorry for this kid who is obviously one of those kids who is effeminate and "different" from his peers so out of self-preservation, he takes it to the extreme to show to the world and himself that he's the one making fun of him so no one can hurt him.
Enter the Jimmy Kimmel performance last night. Filled with innuendo (to the acted supposed uncomfortable squirming of the show's host) Chris Crocker continually flipping his hair and adjusting his bikini bra top to show off I don't know what and the more this kid flounced and tried to be funny the sadder I got. Sad that here this kid thinks he's got the world by its tail and really he's in for a ten to fifteen minute media ride that will no doubt end in a tailspin of him being barely a footnote to celebrity life. Let's face it, this kid is not a stand up comedian, he's not really an actor, he's just a wounded gay kid who I suspect was looking for acceptance in his small town, couldn't find it so decided to become this pseudo woman in his bedroom, posting on YouTube because it made his three female friends (presumably wall flowers and a bit overweight) laugh and made him feel more than accepted, it made him feel better than everyone else. Now while all of this is me presuming, I think most of us gays go through something similar. You have a choice to either try to fit in by going unnoticed, walking with your head down, not making eye contact or you can be one of us that wear a green satin OZ jacket, use the word, "fabulous" a little too much and hug people in the halls of your high school with air kisses to each cheek. (Oops, my teen years are showing) The world may have changed some since I was in high school but I'm not so sure that it's gotten better for the kids like Chris Crocker.
Sure, they now have the Internet to broadcast themselves and to see a broader picture of the world from their computer monitor but as we all find out (some of us when we become forty-something gays) you can't avoid your true self no matter how much eyeliner you put on. Now, I'm not agreeing with the anti-gays who say that every gay is created by a tragic past but in Chris Crocker, I do see some tragedy. The biggest tragedy of course is that it plays right into the hands of all the people in our society who would like for gays to only be seen as freakishly scary effeminate creatures that solicit sex in bathrooms and want to dress like women. Why? Because it's funnier if the kid seems like a gay whack job, a court jester to the world of straight people, something to be mocked and feed into the stereotype that "those people" are somehow less than the rest of the legally allowed to marry world. And so us "garden variety gays'" (as I call us) jobs just got harder.
I hope Chris Crocker gets the fame he's looking for but more importantly I hope that at some point in his life he figures out that there is a person behind all that makeup and dyed hair that people would like and would even love without the costume. I hope he learns to truly accept his own beauty as a person before that funny, bitchy veneer turns to bitter old queen. Being sarcastic has it's place (just read all my blog entries) but Chris, for your sake as well as for all of us, know that there's more to you than just some quick one liners punctuated with a flounce of the hair. We grown up gays will be waiting for you and hoping you make the transition but for now I just feel sorry for Chris Crocker and all of us gays - Don't Get Me Started!
Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com