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Okay Starbucks, Enough All Ready With The Cold Cup Lids

Updated on February 2, 2009

I know that at this point what we should all be worried about is the latest round of layoffs of employees and the closing of yet another 100 Starbucks locations but with so many Starbucks around I don’t think any of us (even in its heyday) really got why there needed to be a Starbucks every fifteen feet. If you ever go to Seattle (home of the first Starbucks) you’ll be absolutely amazed at how there are more Starbucks locations than people. Honestly I don’t know how you would ever say to someone, “Meet me at the Starbucks on Pike” without having to go into some long explanation of what the stores are next to the Starbucks and possibly having to also give the street grate information in order to assist someone to find you in the right Starbucks. But as I get my iced coffee beverage every morning I have to say that with everything Starbucks gets right there is one thing they have continued to get wrong and at this point it’s just on my nerves. Okay Starbucks, enough all ready with the cold cup lids – Don’t Get Me Started!

When I first started getting iced beverages from Starbucks I never gave the lid much thought. Let me rephrase that, I never gave the lid any thought other than if the barista had filled the cup too full and it was dripping down the sides of the cup from the lid. But about a year or so ago, the lid changed and so has my life. (I know it sounds dramatic but that’s my job, right?) At first the manager of my daily Starbucks haunt told me that they had ordered the wrong kind of lids and so that if you took one of the straws for a Venti cup (which is made from a stronger sturdier plastic than the regular straws) instead of the regular straws, it was easier to penetrate the cup surface. It was almost as if the scoring they put on the top of the cup was just for show. Oh, it looked the same as the original lids but there was no flexibility as the old lid had so as you pressed your straw into the lid it gave and bent the petals of the lid inward to not only allow the straw in but also assist in keeping the beverage in the cup itself should it tip. Not only was the new lid not flexible, you almost had to have a running start to get the straw in the damn cup. You couldn’t just simply push the straw in, you had to start from a higher plane and really jam the straw in (most of the time creating a sort of volcanic reaction where the beverage would spew out of the top of the lid as the plastic poker displaced the fluid). If you had ordered a Tall or Grande you would have to actually cut the straw down when you got to work so as to not jab yourself in the eye with it when trying to get a drink.

Like most things in life, you begin to get used to the way things are after they’ve been changed, even when you don’t want to at all. Every morning I would un-wrap my straw while waiting for my beverage and I would firmly wrap my fist around it in order to ready myself for the task at hand. My bicep would get as taught as if I was working out and I would practice the motion of jabbing the straw into the cup, looking like Norman Bates stabbing Janet Leigh in the shower in Psycho! I know it made people afraid of me, hell it made me afraid of myself frankly but at least it was now part of my routine, I guess.

Then last week everything changed again. I know that they say that nothing stays the same but this whole Starbucks lid thing while a small annoyance seems to have changed for no good reason yet again. The new “new” lid has the feature of having so much scoring that it looks like an asterisk or some sort of star like configuration. So one would think that with all that extra scoring that you could go back to the normal straw and that it would easily slide its way into the cup right? Wrong! The new plastic lid is so hard that when you do get the straw in, it squeezes the straw to a point where you have to suck hard enough to give yourself an aneurysm to actually get any of the fluid up the straw and into your mouth. If you try to bend in some of the petals to assist the straw to retain its God given shape, the plastic actually cracks and should the petals pop out instead of inside the cup you’ll discover that you now have a weapon like one of those ninja stars or at the very least you’ll cut yourself on the hard plastic. Enough, I’ve had enough.

I know in my heart of hearts that the reason this lid change happened in the first place was due to money. I’m sure that someone somewhere in the corporate offices decided that they could save money if they simply used a cheaper lid but people come on, didn’t you try one before you had them mass produced and sent out to annoy the crap out of your customers? And once you did the first dud, didn’t you learn your lesson and test the new “new” lid? I know with the economy and everything else there are bigger things we should all be worried about but with everyone in a constant state of annoyance does anyone think that pissing people off first thing in the morning before they’ve had their coffee is a good idea? I don’t.  We can only hope that when the next version (or the new new “new”) lid comes along that they’ll either go back to the original cup lid or they’ll make one that actually works and doesn’t annoy. But just know this Starbucks, as that executive who decided to change the lids tries to tell you that none of the customers have noticed the difference, they’re wrong, dead wrong. Okay Starbucks, enough all ready with the cold cup lids – Don’t Get Me Started!

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      Kelly 7 years ago

      I have been thinking this exact same thing for awhile now!!