On Unconditional Love
What is unconditional love? Wikipedia defines unconditional love as follows:
Unconditional love is a concept that means showing love towards someone regardless of his or her actions or beliefs. It is a concept comparable to true love, a term which is more frequently used to describe love between lovers. By contrast unconditional love is frequently used to describe love between family members, comrades in arms and between others in highly committed relationships. It has also been used in a religious context to describe God's love for mankind.
So do you think its possible for us petty humans to love one another unconditionally? Am here to tell you that its not! Love is all about metamorphosis. A change in people's emotions. You say you loved me unconditionally? But tell me, if that love was so unconditional could it have finished off in just two years? No it couldn't have. Because unconditional love is forever. So does this mean that you had attached conditions to your love? Or should I say that your love was selfish? Neither. 'Cos I know that you loved me unselfishly. But I also know that it was not unconditional...
It seems to me like you so badly want me to go away from your life. Don't worry...all you have to do is just say it once and I will be gone. No fancy words anymore and no tears and no emotional upsets any longer no :) I will just pack my bags and leave. Poof Gone! But tell me will you be able to live after that? Can you imagine a life without me? You say you are worried about me? Why are you worried about me when you say you don't care? Two clashing feelings I would say....Humans...we ourselves do not know what we feel and what we want to feel and what we are suppressing because we think its not good for us.
I don't want to stay in Delhi for my bday or for the upcoming durga puja. Am planning to go away. You worried about that I know :) Don't worry so much about me...You have thrown me out of your life so brutally that your care and worries seem almost funny to me now. Its like I am standing on the sidelines and watching my life go by. Remeber this, that we only get one chance to live each phase of our life. Let it not be that when you look back in your life, you regret even one phase of your life. Or that you wish you could re-live that phase of your life so that you could change things in that phase. Its not possible. A time machine is yet to be invented. So believe in me. Don't be so cruel and act like you cannot see my love for you, that you cannot feel my pain for you.
I know that I hurt you a lot. A total of 912 days prolly....repeatedly! I want to punish myself double that...for 1824 days...though I know that pain cannot be measured in terms of days. Why don't you punish me jana? Punish me all you want but don't go away from me. Don't turn your face from me. I cannot live without you anymore. You made your place in my life. Who told you to love me so much that you finish off all your love during that time itself...and have nothing left to give me when I am asking you for it. Why did you make me love you so much? Its all your fault! ha ha its good to have such thoughts to just give false consolations to my heart right...