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Rehab Rehab Rehab

Updated on February 21, 2007

How Do I Get To Hollywood?

Rehab, Rehab, Rehab - Don't Get Me Started!

Britney has joined a long line of celebs that are in, have been in or are scheduled to be in rehab. It's not only the new "get out of jail" card when you drive drunk or beat someone up (physically, emotionally or racially), if you've been acting crazy (and they don't ask you to do a reality show) and you just need some time away, sign up for rehab. I don't care if you're addicted to booze, pills, sex or your blackberry whatever it is, if you want to keep your celebrity status, you'll go to rehab. There's an old joke that says, "How do I get to Carnegie Hall?" and the response is, "Practice, practice, practice!" Now the joke is sadder and goes how do I get to Hollywood? Rehab, rehab, rehab - Don't Get Me Started!

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I guess what makes me so crazy is that I would like to go to rehab too but unfortunately, I have to actually deal with my own life. Sure there are people who aren't famous who have been to rehab and I'm not discounting what it can do for those in need but today's celebrities are using it like the "sanitariums of the 1940s and 1950s, the "spas" of the 1970s and the fat farms of the 1980s. I've no doubt that these celebrities have a lot of pressure on them but let's face it, they also have people to do everything but wipe their butts for them so you would think that they would have plenty of time to just go into therapy like a normal person.

Now I'm not talking about celebs like Mel Gibson and Isaiah Washington who go to rehab to get away from their comments or actions. Here's my thought on the ones who go to rehab for acting just a little crazy, you'll notice that most of these celebs are post climax of their career. Like good sex, after a really great climax all you want to do is sleep and the last thing you want to do is think of is how to have another climax. Well rehab does it for you. See while your career is floundering, it still gives you an opportunity to be in the press without really doing anything. It's sort of like treading water. Eventually you have to swim, drown or have a Mai Tai. In the case of celebrities they've chosen the Mai Tai. They don't want to go away from the public eye but they have no idea what to do next to keep their career going so they choose to just sit this dance out (in the middle of the dance floor). Let's face it they can't all be Madonna who continually gets it right reinventing herself enough for her and her public to keep her busy and interesting.

Notice too that the ones going to rehab are not the smartest or well read. Come on, what do you think the last book was that Britney read? And do you think for a minute her lips weren't moving as she was reading the words on the page? And I'm sure it was a pop up book or at least had a lot of pictures. The smartest thing any of these people have done is to get a smart manager and/or press agent.

What makes it all worse is that the press has created an unquenchable thirst of celebrity tragedy for the public. A thirst that much like an alcoholic, though you know you'll never get enough you keep drinking in hopes that you will get enough or pass out (preferably not in your own vomit). Before you actually had to get off your ass and go to the coliseum to see the lion eat the man. Now you can drink a soda, eat some chips and watch the debauchery unfold on your television or computer. (All while you're in your underwear with your hands down your pants.) No more the need to climb stairs, be out in the elements or sit on concrete for hours on end (unless you're auditioning for American Idol). The press does all that for you. They take all the work out of it for us. That's why we think we no longer have to practice, practice, practice to get ahead. How how do I get to Hollywood? Rehab, rehab, rehab - Don't Get Me Started!

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    • St.James profile image

      St.James 10 years ago from Lurking Around Florida

      I have to agree with you.

      All the Best,