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SEO Morons - How Keywords Are Killing The Internet

Updated on September 11, 2007

The Interweb can be a fun place to do business. You can meet the best and the brightest, learn from them, collaborate, contribute, and generally fall over yourself in an orgy of intellectualism and exploration. It's grand. On the other hand however, the Interweb can also be a mammoth mud pit where bottom feeding scum claw for advertising dollars whilst screeching phrases like 'content is king' at each other.

I've been writing for the web for quite some time now. I'm fully mac and pc compatible, and I've even started signing things with a little 2.0 after my name, that's how web integrated I am. However the eternal bugbear that haunts me is all this SEO rubbish. SEO is of course, Search Engine Optimization, a means to getting search engines to index you more highly in their listed results so that you get more traffic, and in turn, more money. It's a fine idea, but it has lead to a preponderance of content on the web where awkwardly worded phrases such as 'it are very important that you get a search engine optimized results' abound.

There are two main reasons for this:

1 - The 'keyword' phenomenon, where a certain number of specific phrases must be inserted into a passage of text in order for it to attract attention. This leads to quite frankly retarded looking content.

2 - The other problem is that although 'content is king', hardly anybody actually wants to pay for it. This means that there are slews of under educated, often non native English speakers (and not ones who have become fluent either) writing masses of copy which are then propagated over the web, stolen, chopped up into little bits and reassembled again.

So, what's my point? Simply this: SEO is fucking the Internet. Well, that's a bit of a dramatic statement, because it's not fucking it. It's creating a massive fatty buffer of absolutely useless waste of space sites jam packed full of idiot content that isn't worth the cyberspace it takes up. Google and the other search engines spend vast amounts of time trying to weed these sites out, only to have these 'web masters' come up with new, cheap, and moronic ways to try to fool them.

Ironically these folk no doubt spend more time trying to cheat the engines than it would take to just gather some decent content, or commission it from a professional writer who knows what a possessive clause is, and can occasionally put a comma in the correct place.

If you're a novice web master, here are some tips, just for you:

1 - You get what you pay for. Always.

2 - Nobody worth their salt writes for free, unless they are creating back links to their own content.

3 - All the SEO Gurus and Keyword Mantras and upbeat affirmations in the world don't come close to actually having well written, interesting things to read on your site, if only because it makes people less likely to want to hunt you down and harm you.


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    • Reynolds_Writing profile image

      Reynolds_Writing 8 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      Well said.. It's sad that when it comes to Inernet content some webmasters only want poorly written, keywords that kinda look like sentences, for a cost of $1 for 1,000 words. We need to bring back quality!

    • RobertHassey profile image

      RobertHassey 8 years ago from United Kingdom

      Leprechaun, I think, raised a good question there. If many people not in command of standard English type in keywords in search engines, however wrongly strung together and spelled, we may not be in a position to blame Google for what they do.

    • leprechaun profile image

      leprechaun 9 years ago from friendly City by the Sea

      I agree Hope, but is there a better way to get traffic?

    • profile image

      Ellen Wilson 9 years ago

      Very interesting and my sentiments exactly. Thanks Hope.

      I think Google eventually will become smart enough to weed out all this silly bullshit.

    • chillingbreeze profile image

      chillingbreeze 9 years ago from India

      You got my click here and then I didn't lose the attention while reading :) It was a good read and great info! Will stay around for more articles from you.


      PR: wait... I: wait... L: wait... LD: wait... I: wait...wait... C: wait... SD: wait...

    • profile image

      seo copy writing 9 years ago

      Love the title here... and the message that follows is great. Looking forward to your other articles to give deeper insight and clues.

    • Chairman Matt profile image

      Chairman Matt 9 years ago from West Michigan

      Think we should clue them in to link quality? Sure would cut the scraped content a bunch.

      Seriously, though, SEO isn't going to go away for the same reason that makeup won't- it can be stunning when used correctly. or grotesque when overdone.

    • KeithB profile image

      KeithB 9 years ago from Denver, CO

      Very true

    • purpletrout profile image

      purpletrout 9 years ago

      We always stress to our clients to write and design their websites for humans first, then for the search engines. However, for true SEO to exist, there is much more to it than keywords and content. That's just the top of the iceberg when Google considers more than 100 factors when determine a website's rank. Blogs, social media and link building - just to name a few - are also major factors in search engine optimization.

    • Treskeidecamania profile image

      Treskeidecamania 9 years ago

      Good points

    • profile image

      Prabhat Kiran 10 years ago

      Very Valid and Insightful Article, Thank you.

    • Renaissance profile image

      Renaissance 10 years ago

      Amen to that.