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Senator Larry Craig Isn't A Homosexual, He Just Plays One In Bathrooms

Updated on August 28, 2007

Another Republican Senator Caught Cruising

So according to the reports, Senator Larry Craig (Republican, of course) from Idaho was apparently arrested in June for lewd behavior in the Minneapolis-St. Paul airport bathroom, pled guilty and paid his $500. Now in a statement that it was all a mistake that he wasn't looking for sex from the police officer in the next stall, he claims he should never have pled guilty and that he isn't gay. Senator Larry Craig isn't a homosexual, he just plays one in bathrooms - Don't Get Me Started!

Immediately you could "go there" about him being a Republican, the fact that he's married with kids or that once again a supposed non-gay somehow knew to tap his foot, rub it up against the police officer's and then wave under the stall. (Supposedly these are the signals that are used to solicit sex from stall to stall and apparently he knew them all.) Now all of these signals are about as foreign to me as a baseball coach trying to tell me to steal second. I had no idea about the tapping, the rubbing and the waving. All this just sounds like a gay Country bar where the boys two-step and wave to their friends as they come in. So maybe you all know about these "signals" but I had no idea it was all so involved.

He claims at the time of the arrest he was trying to tell the police that they had "misconstrued" his actions. Yeah, I'm sure the cop with his big rubber soled shoes "misconstrued" the (no doubt) Gucci loafer with tassels reaching over and rubbing up against his foot. Maybe that's why I don't know about these legs are way too short, I don't think they'd reach to do the rubbing. Now I've got rhythm so I could tap and the wave is no problem, but I think I'd probably fall and hit my head on the porcelain base of the toilet while trying to reach someone's foot in the stall next to me.

What gets me is with the Internet why can't these guys just order out for sex like everyone else I know? Maybe you find it hot to get blown while the smell of some guy's pastrami sandwich that didn't sit too well with him is taking a major dump next to you. (I know some people are into that, right?) Or maybe it's just the whole anonymous thing and what happens in airports stays in airports, I honestly don't know. But what gets me is that this guy is a Senator, do you mean no one advised him that by pleading guilty it means that you did it? Come on, we all used to watch Baretta, right? "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time...whoa hoa."

No surprise that this yahoo is known for his support of gun owners and has what is deemed a "close" relationship with the National Rifle Association. (Since he's apparently looked down a couple of barrels in his day, if you know what I mean and I know that you do) He also apparently had called allegations by a gay rights organization in 2006 that he engaged in homosexual behavior "completely ridiculous." I agree, that it's completely ridiculous that there's yet another public figure caught for exposing his "figure" in a public bathroom. But I'll leave it to experts like George Michael to decide. I yield the floor (the bathroom floor that is) to my senior Senator from Idaho.

Well he's up for re-election next year so if I were him, I'd steal all the little soaps I can from the toilets in Congress while I'm there and leave the tapping, rubbing and waving to the professionals. I'm not one of those people who think that everyone is gay so I don't know if he's gay or just wanted someone to blow him. And you know what? I don't care. But I say the more these supposed "leaders" get exposed, the better (as long as I don't have to see it). Senator Larry Craig isn't a homosexual, he just plays one in bathrooms - Don't Get Me Started!

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    • livelonger profile image

      Jason Menayan 10 years ago from San Francisco

      Why are all these seedy closet cases REPUBLICAN? It's become the party of crass hypocrites.

    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 10 years ago from Las Vegas

      Aw, gee thanks. I just calls 'em as I sees 'em!

    • Guru-C profile image

      Cory Zacharia 10 years ago

      Absolutely Brilliant Headline, Scott! LOL BIG TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!