ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Sexy Celebrity Weight Loss Secret #468 Gastric Band Surgery

Updated on August 27, 2007

You want to be skinny, right?

Your new stomach...

If you're rather obese, or rather famous and need to lose a few pounds, a handy way of doing it is surgically. Sure, you could spend a life time eating right and exercising, but sometimes a fast paced lifestyle and a crack like addiction to fast food will leave you a little more rotund than is pretty, or healthy. In case you're the sort of person who only does things that cool people do, you'll be interested to know that Sharon Osbourne had the treatment, Courtney Love has been highly rumored to have had it, and there are sure to be many others.

This is a very popular (though often denied) diet amongst Hollywood's glitterati, and carries the added advantage of not actually being a diet. Gastric Band surgery involves the insertion of an adjustable gastric band (looks to me like a twist tie to me, but what do I know?) around the stomach, creating a 'pouch' that holds about 50mls of liquid. Interestingly enough, many popular perfumes are also sold in 50ml receptacles, so if you want to get an idea of the size of the stomach post surgery, check out this bottle of Britney Spears' 'Midnight Fantasy' fragrance. If that doesn't make this seem glamorous, I don't know what will.

The band is then inflated with liquid, which is a nifty way that surgeons can adjust the tightness of the band depending on the patient's needs. Once the band is in place and inflated, you feel rather full rather quickly as you fill up your little pouch, which then drip feeds the rest of your stomach slowly. Over time, weight loss occurs due to the fact that stuffing your face just got a whole lot harder.

Of course, there are some downsides to the 'easy' surgical method. One of them is a little happening known medically as 'productive burping'. This means that the patient burps up their food. Yummy partially digested upchuck. I reckon it would be about the time you revisited your french fries that the Nikes started to look real good. To curb 'productive burping' (oh how I love that phrase), patients are recommended to eat less, eat more slowly, and chew their food better.

There are some other adverse effects that can take place due to gastric banding, these include (in no particular order):



Chest Pain




and occasionally, Death

Oops, that would kind of suck huh.

A quote from the NY Post that supposedly originated with a friend of Courtney Love's insists that she has had the surgery, and that it's not pretty: "She's telling people she got the gastric band surgery. She even said she had to sleep with a towel by her because the surgery makes her [vomit] all the time and is worried she won't be able to make out with anyone because of her breath."


Still, when you're living la vida loca, death can often be riding shotgun a great deal of the time. It's actually kind of cool if you think about it, in much the same way that E.Coli is pretty cool.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)