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Skinny Celebrities and The 'Eat A Damn Cheeseburger' Awards

Updated on August 30, 2007

No! THAT'S NOT FOOD!

It's hard once you forget what food even looks like...
It's hard once you forget what food even looks like...

Some people/celebrities are fat, some people are thin, and some people are in the middle somewhere. The in the middlers are either becoming increasingly few in number, or it's simply that were giving the ones with the wild BMI's all the attention. Typical really isn't it. The 'Eat A Damn Cheeseburger' awards have been developed with expert assistance (ie, the advice of my cat, Buttons), and target some of the celebrities that Buttons and I believe should consume more calories in order to look good, have a menstrual cycle, and you know, generally stay alive. But before I start, I'm just going to give you a run down of people who seem quite okay in the weight department.

HOT PEOPLE OF A NORMALISH WEIGHT

Katherine Heigl

Rachel Weisz

Jennifer Lopez

Kim Kardashian

Kelly Osbourne

Sandra Bullock

Lucy Liu

Lindsay Lohan (God knows how)

Janene Garafolo

Jessica Alba

Judy Reyes (Carla, on Scrubs)

Sarah Chalke (Elliot, on Scrubs)

There you go, 12, twelve hot ladies, and that's off the top of my head, without even spending a whole day eating Oreos and googling like desperate mole. So ha! Normal people are sexy.

Now, on to the skinny ones. These people are too damn skinny, and have won my eat a damn cheeseburger award. Award winners may contact me, and I will buy them one cheeseburger from the outlet of my choosing. It will be tasty, vaguely nutritious, and full of life giving lipids.

HOT AND NOT SO HOT PEOPLE OF WEIGHT CONCERN

The Olsens (Though this may be unfair, as they may technically be dead)

Keira Knightley (Tough call on this one, because Keira says she's naturally thin and sues people who says she has an eating problem. I'm not saying she has an eating problem, she's probably naturally skinny, but I think she would like a cheeseburger, they are yummy.)

Amy Winehouse (Lay off the drug cocktails, lady)

Courtney Love (Don't care if you had gastric band surgery or if you ate tofu for a year, a cheeseburger for you!)

Nicole Richie (Sure, you got pregnant and got some baby curves, still, keep up the cheeseburgers)

Angelina Jolie (Quit saving the damn world for a second and just stop and enjoy a cheeseburger)

THE GRAND WINNER AND DOUBLE CHEESEBURGER, UH, WINNER!

Victoria Beckham

The weight loss here is truly scary. She was slim in the first place, but now, well now we're entering the emaciated zone, which is super not cool. There are kids starving in Africa, so eat a damn cheeseburger and relax a little. She looks tense, doesn't she?

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    • profile image

      louise fazenda 

      10 years ago

      The new Christina Ricci gets my vote!

    • profile image

      Tiffabee 

      10 years ago

      This is awesome, you would love my blog tiffabee.wordpress.com where we have the cheeseburger rules.

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