Talking With Ex-Co-Workers Is Worse Than Talking With Ex-Lovers
I began a new job when the year began anew this year and while I had been at my previous job for eight years, I really had only kept in touch with the one or two people who I had daily contact with when I was working with them. Incidentally these people had also left the company so there was always much to talk about - new jobs, loves, pets and how thankful we were to be out of the previous job. However recently an ex-co-worker (who still works for the company) called me and as I hung up the following went through my mind - talking with ex-co-workers is worse than talking with ex-lovers - Don't Get Me Started!
The conversation started out innocently enough, you know, the whole, "Wow, it's so good to hear your voice. How are you? How are things around the old place?" From there it goes into a very surface discussion about the person who took your place, a couple of minutes reminiscing about that time at the holiday party so and so got so drunk they almost looked attractive, that is until the threw up on the president of the company's wife and finally a question about whether or not Jenni is still a slut? From there you have NOTHING to talk about. That's right, although this person may have been your true confidant when you were with the company and you spoke on the phone every day, you now have absolutely nothing to say to one another. The silence is filled with a little sadness and a little awkwardness but mostly it's filled with thoughts running through your mind such as, "Wow, I'm glad I don't work at that place any more. Did I really talk to this person everyday? Gee, I need to clip my fingernails. Hmm, what do I want for lunch, what do I want for lunch? Um, yeah, I'm still here - what? John from accounting bought a motorcycle? Ooh, listen that's my other line. Thanks so much for staying in touch. We need to do lunch or something soon I'm just so crazed at the new job. Tell everyone there I liked that I said, "Howdy" - Uh huh, you too. Bye bye." Whew - the relief of being off the call is something akin to when they told me I only had pre-pre-cancer and were able to cut it off of my face. Had I stayed on the call longer I would have started cutting myself like a young girl with a bad body image.
So when you finally get off the phone with the person, you start (well, at least I do) start to think about all the other people who have been in your life and traveled away from it to a certain extent that you get back in touch with at some point. I'm not talking about through email via classmates.com or something - which by the way everyone who ever beat me up in high school or I wanted to beat off with seems to have found me and is interested in my life and now becoming my best friend. I began thinking about who else I had awkward "reconnection" phone calls with over the years and I discovered that it was much easier talking to an ex-lover than with an ex-co-worker. Why is this, I wondered? Could it be because you've seen this person naked? (True a lot of people have seen their ex-co-workers naked too so that's out) but there's more to it, there must be, right?
I think what I finally concluded was that it's easier to talk to an ex-lover because you shared something that helped you to see yourself better (most of the times once you had been out of the "loving" with the person) and while you hold affection for both the co-worker and the ex-lover, most of the time, the ex-lover made you a better lover to the next person in your life so you have to give the devil his due, right? Also, if you're a gay man you hope that the ex-lover has gotten really fat and still pining away for you (no matter how happily ever after you've moved on) while you don't really care how fat the ex-co-worker has gotten. So while I'll pick up the phone when an ex-lover calls, chances are (forgive me Johnny Mathis) when it's an ex-co-worker, I'll be screening my calls because talking with ex-co-workers is worse than talking with ex-lovers - Don't Get Me Started!
Read More Scott @ www.somelikeitscott.com