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The 5 Steps of REALLY Successful Seduction

Updated on September 12, 2008

There are five main steps or stages involved in successful seduction. Successful seduction means finding, meeting and dating (whatever that may mean) a woman you don't already know or are friends with.

The five stages are separated into two different categories: talking and non-talking. And all five take place consecutively, one after the other, in the space of less than 12 hours. Usually a guy who's good at picking-up women will be able to go from finding a girl he likes to getting her number or arranging a date with her (closing) in 1-7 hours. Exactly how long it takes depends on several different factors, such as the location of the pick-up, the time of day, the personality of the girl and whether she's with friends or alone.

Let's briefly go over exactly what each of the five stages means and involves:

1. Find

The first and most obvious of the five stages involves finding a woman or group of women to approach and talk to, which is the next step. Although it sounds a pretty simple thing to do, and often is once you know the ins and outs of the stage, there are a few fundamental areas regarding the finding of women that you should be knowledgeable and educated in. A big one involves locations and how different places can provide different advantages over others when it comes to picking-up the women who populate them. I'm not talking about different countries, cities or towns being better than others, though. I mean that some venues and places within cities are better than others. For example, on the whole a club, although it's very noisy, is a better place to meet and attract women than on the street, in broad daylight.

2. Approach

Although this is always a very short stage of seduction, in terms of the length of time it takes to complete it, it deserves being defined as its own specific step because of the amount of anxiety most men experience when dealing with it. I'll explain what I mean. If you're in a bar with a male friend and he sees a girl across the other side of the room he finds really attractive, one of the main reasons he's unlikely to go up and talk to her is because of something called approach anxiety - in short, the fear of walking up and talking to her. That's the main reason approaching and opening haven't been combined together into one stage, as well as the fact that there a few other key pieces of knowledge associated solely with the approach that you should know. You can learn about these at the Black Belt Seduction blog. Just follow the link at the end of this hub.

3. Open

To ‘open' means to start a conversation with a girl or group of girls. Clearly opening well is vital if you want to have a long and positive conversation with a girl, just as having a conversation is vital if you want any real chance of getting her number or arranging a date (a.k.a. closing).

If you look at the ‘5 Steps of Successful Seduction' diagram, you'll see that the approaching row (which is green/mostly non-talking) blends into the opening row (which is blue and completely ‘talking'.) It does this because that's what approaching and opening are like in real life - they often merge and can sometimes be almost indistinguishable from one another. Remember, approaching is walking up to a girl and opening is what you first choose to say to her to begin a conversation. However, it's okay to say that approach anxiety, as mentioned in the previous seduction stage description, is not just the fear of walking up to a girl but also the fear of actually beginning to talk to her (opening). It's in this way that approaching and opening can, if you like, be considered part of the same seduction step. It's just useful to separate them when learning about what it takes to attract and pick-up women.

4. Converse

Conversing with a girl means talking to her. This is understandably a seduction stage that cannot be skipped or rushed through - quite simply, the right kind of conversation creates your chance to pick-up the girl you're talking to. Other stages and seduction related components, like body language, are important too, but none outweighs conversation. Lots of guys have a simplistic opinion of what conversation with women should consist of though. In reality, conversation with the opposite sex is like cooking - it can be done beautifully or extremely badly. If you want the best possible chance of attracting the women you talk to you, you'll need to know how to do it beautifully.

5. Close

The term ‘close' comes from the world of sales and salesmanship. It means to get a positive result at the end of an interaction with a client - to seal the deal with a sale or the promise of one. In seduction, it pretty much means the same thing. There comes a point during every conversation with a girl, at least if you're interested in making something happen with her, when you need to confirm your mutual interest in each other. The most common ways men close, in order, are to: get a girl's number, give her theirs, swap numbers with each other, or arrange a date (a specific time and place they'll meet again). Arranging a date is typically the most uncommon method of closing in that list.

There's no doubt about, the idea of closing scares a lot of guys. Even those that can confidently talk to hot women often wince at the thought of that final, tricky step. But there's no real reason closing should create such palpable anxiety in men. As long as they have progressed through the preceding 4 stages of seduction properly with the girl (finding, approaching, opening, conversing), closing should be the equivalent of dropping the cherry on the cake - easy.

So, when it comes to understanding the basics of picking-up women, you should know and appreciate the following two facts:

• There are 5 stages to any and all successful pick-ups, no matter where they take place or at what time of day they're executed. They are: finding women, approaching and opening, talking to the girl or girls, then closing by arranging something or swapping contact info.

• To pick-up women successfully, you need to progress through each stage of seduction consecutively, without skipping or rushing any of them. To stand the best chance of attracting and seducing women, you should focus on making your skills and knowledge in each of the individual stages as solid as possible, so that when the stages are combined you'll have a truly effective overall "game" plan.

To learn a lot more about the art of attraction, including exactly what you need to do during each of the 5 steps you've just learned about, go to:


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