ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

The Biggest Loser Has Officially Lost Me

Updated on January 13, 2009


For however many seasons this show has been on the air I have been watching it. I can’t even remember half of the contestants who have been on the show as it seems as though there have been so many seasons of the show that they all sort of mix together in my mind. While I faithfully watched every week I guess I was only watching with one eye because honestly, I don’t remember any of them. Sort of remember the guy who won with the pig nose, was a wrestler in high school and married the blond girl from the show with the annoying voice and I remember the woman who won last season but other than that, I got nothing. Now correct me if I’m wrong but didn’t this show just end a season? I thought it did but when my Tivo started clicking away on Tuesday night last and I saw what it was recording I decided I’d had enough. The Biggest Loser has officially lost me – Don’t Get Me Started!

The worst thing about the show has to be that they expect you to watch it for two hours each week. If I didn’t have a Tivo to get through the commercials and some of the dumber moments, I wouldn’t have lasted this long watching this damn show. Plus, I don’t know what sort of strange voyeuristic charge we all get out of watching the fatties cry on a treadmill when if I’d get off my own ass and get on a treadmill in front of a mirror I could see the same thing (and I’m pretty when I cry). And please don’t tell me that we’re supposedly learning from the show because the workouts are never really shown as teaching sessions and the cooking sessions are just downright silly with the trainers more concerned about saying the name of the sponsoring manufacturer of the Ziploc bag that the veggies and salmon go in than what is supposed to go in the damn bag! Oh, I did learn that we’re supposed to chew sugar-free gum. That’s right, out of seven hundred seasons, that’s about all that I got. Extra, isn’t that the gum? Boy those millions that Extra gum paid for product placement sure paid off, huh?

In the beginning I liked the whole military-esque Jillian vs. Bob the sensitive gay trainer but at this point they’re basically interchangeable. Jillian has become more caring/sensitive and Bob screams every once in awhile (while desperately trying to make sure he sounds like a guy screaming and not a screaming queen).

I am enraged that these fatties (and I say that with the greatest of love) can lose twenty pounds in one week in their Habitrail that is some big estate with cameras while I can’t lose two pounds in two weeks even if I cut off a limb! And the worst thing is that I watched and watched and watched…but no more.

You see, the previous seasons’ fatties fall into two categories – they have either maintained their weight, being paid for lecturing tours (though I’d never attend because honestly, what could they possibly have to say, other than regurgitating what Bob and Jillian told them?) or they’ve gained the weight back and been on Oprah. (Well at least Oprah can feel their pain, right?) But honestly, are these people any more “remarkable” than say anyone else on any of the seven hundred thousand other reality shows? No, they’re not. They are losers who got lucky enough to be televised. If I really want to see losers, I can look at some of the people who have “friend requested” me from high school on Facebook.

There are just certain times in your life when you have to draw the line. You know, like the line you drew not to go home with that guy even though you were really drunk and knew you could blame it on alcohol the next day if your friends found out? Like the line you drew and then tried to snort in the 1980’s? (Okay, maybe that line doesn’t apply here) Or the line you drew with your friend who never cares to ask you how you’re doing as they go on and on about themselves and their lives (as if it’s somehow interesting or something) so you just push that magical button that sends them directly to voicemail when they call. I’m drawing the line with The Biggest Loser, I’m done. And somehow I feel so much lighter…hey, my new non-Biggest Loser diet is working all ready! The Biggest Loser has officially lost me – Don’t Get Me Started!

Read More Scott @


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • bogerk profile image

      bogerk 7 years ago from Midwest

      The Biggest Loser lost me with all the fake and real promos throughout the show ... so corny!

    • Melissa G profile image

      Melissa G 8 years ago from Tempe, AZ

      Hilarious, as always. :) Thanks for the laugh!