The Advocate's Gross...er...Guest Opinion On Older Gays
The Advocate's Gross...er...Guest Opinion On Gays And Aging - Don't Get Me Started!
Once again, we have a major respected source (supposedly) for all things that are gay or gay important bringing in a twenty-six year old to tell us about how older gays are seen in the gay community. This kid should go fold jeans with William Sledd, gay Gap Manager in Kentucky and host of the popular YouTube videos, Ask A Gay Man. Both have an opinion that is as narrow as their ass crack. But as they say, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one but what I don't understand is why only the "kids" are having their say on this topic. Can you say irresponsible journalism? The Advocate's gross...er...guest opinion on gays and aging - Don't Get Me Started!
Long have I asked more from The Advocate. It can no longer tout itself as the trailblazer and issue conscious magazine of yesteryear. Even the editors seem to acknowledge this in a letter in the recent issue at the front of the magazine that basically tells its readers how tired they are of reading the feedback that this group or that group in the GLBT community aren't represented in a particular issue. Their dangling carrot is that they can't be everything to everyone every month so keep buying the magazine and eventually you may see yourself represented. (And find out who Ashton Kutcher would kiss if he was gay and had a boy crush) But let's face it, if you're forty, you're going to have to buy the entire year subscription and hope that you find yourself somewhere other than the ads in the back of the magazine selling real estate. (Incidentally, I usually trust my real estate decisions to someone who has a shirt on, I don't know, call me crazy)
So in this Guest Opinion piece titled, "An age-old problem" this kid Ryan starts the article by talking about Methuselah (are you cringing yet?), stating that "even in biblical times, I'm guessing, it was generally understood that gay dating life ends after 30." He then goes on to tell us that young gays really don't have friendships let alone romantic relationships with older men and that we shouldn't feel bad about it because as a society we "can't chose who we're attracted to" and "people in general tend to date people similar to themselves." "People pair off by height, by weight, by fashion sense and definitely by age." "Most younger gay men want to date hot guys their age. I'm 26. Choosing not to talk to Nathan Lane makes me ageist; choosing not to date 51-year-old Nathan Lane makes me typical." As you can imagine, I wanted to rip this Twink a new one considering that what am I the only person in the world with a partner that doesn't look exactly like me? (My guy is a 6 foot black man and I'm a short Jewish boy) And what the hell is he suggesting that we're all pairing off like the animals to board Noah's Gay Ark? Okay Twinks-R-Us, I don't deny the fact that there are several people who do exactly what you're saying but you're also on crack if you think that your vision (which must be similar to looking through the wrong end of a pair of binoculars) is seeing the whole picture.
On the gay timeline, you've been gay for ten minutes. Take it from a gaytriarch of a family, you don't know what the hell you're talking about Ryan. But God love you, The Advocate employs you like everyone else in the media to continue to tell us forty-something gays that we don't exist unless we're hairy and supporting an attractive and sensitive young man thirty years our junior. (Thusly shown by Ryan admitting later in the article that sites such as daddyhunt.com featuring an opportunity for young gays to meet older men are popular.) The owner of the daddyhunt.com site says, "I think when people see a younger man with an older guy, they think, Sugar Daddy...But one thing people don't see is that a lot of people have a serious attraction to older men - whether it's physical, emotional, intellectual - and feel more comfortable in relationships with older men." Turner who runs the site should know as his partner is famed author Armistead Maupin, who is 27 years his senior. Well, there were the three lines of sanity in an otherwise ridiculous article. Which ends with Ryan telling a cautionary tale to judgmental boy toys - "After all, today's young princess is tomorrow's old queen. Just ask Methuselah." Twinksician, heal thyself!
I know the kid writing thinks that he is being honest and really telling it like it is but his world is obviously so small that he's reduced the gay culture and community to the size of his own Speedo. Go ahead, walk a few feet from WeHo in LA Ryan and you might just find the world of gays is a very different place. I'm not saying he's completely off-base I'm just saying that once again, The Advocate has done exactly what it set out to do, not represent the full issue. Maybe next month we can expect a rebuttal or an article about how great it is to be a forty-something gay and that yes, there are some of us in committed relationships but also there are those who go to the bars and have no problem finding Mr. Right Now or Mr. Right for a lifetime after the age of thirty. Ryan dear, turn the binoculars around and have another look at life beyond Santa Monica Boulevard and as far as you Advocate, how about some responsible journalism from someone over the age of thirty? Or should we just hope that there's something in the next issue and that we can find it between the ads for cruises and articles on who Justin Timberlake has a boy crush on?
Here's the link to the article in case you want to read it in its entirety http://www.advocate.com/currentstory1_w.asp?id=48330 and as far as I'm concerned it's just another case of the Advocate's gross...er...guest opinion on gays and aging - Don't Get Me Started!
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