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They Gays Are Spraying Their Territory Again...This Time It Is Hairspray The Movie Musical

Updated on July 9, 2007

The Gays Are Spraying Their Territory Again...This Time It's Hairspray The Movie Musical - Don't Get Me Started!

"Without Gypsies, Jews and Faggots there would be no theatre" is a classic Mel Brooks' line from his movie, To Be Or Not To Be about the Nazis rounding people up in World War II. This statement is true even today. We all know that us gays are responsible for some pretty great theater, art, dance and movies (among other things) so it should come as no surprise to anyone that the gang bang behind the movie musical, Hairspray (being released later this month) is gayer than gay. The thing is that once again us gays seem to be looking for controversy even when there isn't one to be had. Such is definitely the case with all the hoopla around this lighthearted movie about to be released. I can't help but think about the Shakespeare quote, "Much ado about nothing." The gays are spraying their territory again...this time it's Hairspray the movie musical - Don't Get Me Started!

We all get that Hairspray was the original brain child of the once underground and now mainstream (kinda) filmmaker, John Waters. John Waters just happens to be gay. Of course a story about a fat girl who doesn't fit in making it on a local dance show similar to American Bandstand would strike a chord in all the gays who have ever felt left out or not included in what the "nicest kids in town" were doing. Add to that the controversial storyline of racial integration in the 60's in Baltimore where the story is set and you have a grand slam for the gays who have felt like they were riding the back of the bus for a long time too. This is one movie that was ripe to become a Broadway musical. And so it came to pass that a bunch of gays did just that - hell, the production was so overrun by gays you almost needed to call the Pied Piper to lead the gays from the stage that year at the Tonys. To be honest, it made the award show too gay even for me. All the fawning by the two lovers Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman (who wrote the music and lyrics) as they accepted award after award, doing their speeches like the meeting of the mutual admiration society was so much that it made me want to heave. At any rate, with Chicago, Dreamgirls and other musicals turned to movies being in vogue again, no surprise that the Broadway musical would become a movie.

From the start of the casting controversy (I guess) over John Travolta as the mother of Tracy (the fat girl played by Ricki Lake in the original movie) I knew that we were in trouble. Gays were mad that the man that they had always said was gay (but never had any proof of it, dammit) seemed angry that a "straightee" would be going in drag for the role in the film. Who cares was my response to this one as an actor is an actor and just because Divine starred in the original film and Harvey Fierestein starred in the Broadway show doesn't mean it's a "gay only" role although it did in some sort of strange gay prejudice way that only those gays will understand. Now the controversy is that the Church of Scientology to which John Travolta belongs is against gays and therefore there should be a gay boycott of the movie. Let me just say, I don't care how many Hollywood heavyweights are Scientologists there's something really freaky about this so-called religion and the people who subscribe to it. (Call me Jewish, but I'd much rather attend a Kabbalah class with Madonna than go to a Scientology meeting with Travolta.) Still no reason (in my mind) to boycott the movie.

My point is that this time gays, I think you've gone too far. Not everyone in the world is out to get us and certainly not the people who make Broadway and movie musicals. Please save your passionate indignation for something important, say like not being able to serve in the military openly, be in the hospital with our loved ones, etc. It would seem to this gay that going after the musical people is like attacking ourselves and to what end? Come on, do you really think the almost exclusively gay production team behind the movie is really trying to hurt the gay community with their casting choices? No, they, like every gay that sells a rainbow bumper sticker are just trying to make a buck and they realized that Travolta is good box office, period.

Of course there was some sunshine at the end of the rainbow for the pissy gays about the movie Hairspray, it was announced that Lance Bass will go into the Broadway production in a secondary role. If you ask me, we gays should be more upset about this casting choice, that they're putting a no talent like Lance Bass in a Broadway show just because he's gay. Who cares that he's gay if he has no talent? There has been a rash of past boy band mates stinking up the Broadway stage for years now (do they make a cream for that?) as a way to try to get the box office numbers to soar. I don't know about you but I'm not interested. I'd rather see a great performer than a performance by someone not so great whose big claim to fame is that they shared a dressing room with Justin Timberlake. Once again, straight or gay, the producers are just thinking about the bottom line - not whose bottom their star is interested in.

So I'm asking all us gays out there to "Play nice." The movie Hairspray won't hurt you or our community as much as you going on a bitch fest looking like a bunch of screaming queens without a throne to stand on. If you don't want to see the movie, like anything else, just don't go to the theatre to see it but please shut up so the rest of us can focus on really important things like Paris finding Jesus when she was in jail. (Apparently he was right behind the toilet all the time - who knew?) The gays are spraying their territory again...this time it's Hairspray the movie musical - Don't Get Me Started!

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    • somelikeitscott profile image

      somelikeitscott 10 years ago from Las Vegas


    • darron profile image

      darron 10 years ago from New York City

      Really funny writing.