WHAT'S ALL THE FUSS ABOUT LOVE?
what’s LOVE got to do with it?
Growing up in old historic New Orleans, my mother taught me one very important thing. This, she alleged, had been handed down for generations and held the key to finding love. It involved a small ornate parasol and going for a walk on any given balmy, sun-drenched day.
The way to catch the eye of a potential boyfriend, she whispered, was to gently, and with purpose, twirl the parasol over my right shoulder. By doing so, she promised my ideal beau would magically appear. That’s all it took. So simple. So feminine; so dainty.
Later, I secretly wondered if that’s how Mama caught Daddy’s eye. If so, I gravely worried that the system might be seriously flawed. Even though they were together for some 27 years before Mama finally left the marriage, I always knew she wasn’t happy. Daddy was domineering and abusive and eventually drank himself to death. Maybe her parasol was jinxed…
To love is to act intentionally, in sympathetic response to others, to promote overall well-being. This definition applies to the positive connotations of love.
~ Thomas Jay Oord
After a string of painful relationships, I have been forced to reevaluate Mama’s theory. I now accept that there’s more to love than I ever imagined, which is no far stretch, considering my upbringing. If love involves more than attraction (flowery nylon parasols), exactly what is this thing called LOVE?
When I learned of my clairvoyant medium abilities, and the capacity to see and sever energetic cords (which keep us connected to old, outworn and counterproductive behavior patterns), I began, for the first time, to see light at the end of the tunnel known as my life.
The word love has many different meanings in English, from something that gives a little pleasure ("I loved that meal") to something one would die for (patriotism, family). It can describe an intense feeling of affection, an emotion or an emotional state. In ordinary use, it usually refers to interpersonal love. Probably due to its psychological relevance, love is one of the most common themes in art and music.
Just as there are many types of lovers, there are many kinds of love. Love is inherent in all human cultures. It is precisely these cultural differences that make any universal definition of love difficult to establish.
Expressions of love may include the love for a "soul" or mind, the love of laws and organizations, love for a body, love for nature, love of food, love of money, love for learning, love of power, love of fame, love for the respect of others, etcetera. Different people place varying degrees of importance on the kinds of love they receive. (Wikipedia)
Feelings often associated with love:
Affection: feelings of tenderness and/or wanting physical closeness
Attachment: satisfying basic emotional needs
Altruism: selfless or unselfish concern for another
Reciprocation: if love is mutual
Commitment: a desire to maintain love
Emotional intimacy: sharing emotions and feelings
Friendship: the spirit between friends
Kinship: family bonds
Passion: whole-hearted desire
Physical intimacy: sharing of intimate personal space
The more a man knows, the more he forgives.
Let’s take a look at a few common fears regarding love:
- We acknowledge that when we give love we feel powerful but when we accept love we feel weak
- Even though we dearly crave love, when someone tries to give it to us, we run away
- We are afraid of the vulnerability that comes from being the recipient of the gift; we are afraid of being in debt to the person who's offering it
- We are afraid of the loss of control that comes from not providing ourselves with everything we need;
- We are afraid that if we accept love, we'll get addicted to it, and then how will we cope if it goes away?
What to do?
Many will agree that love is essentially an abstract concept, much easier to experience than to explain. It’s not an emotion, and it’s hard to cultivate. Love is a force, a Light. It is intelligence and magnetic. It emerges, like Peace, from intentions and radiations of Goodwill, which create Right Relations. This is an esoteric formula. Remember and use it.
Our interactions with one another reflect a dance between love and fear.
~ Ram Dass