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Why Do I Know More Neil Diamond Than The American Idols

Updated on April 30, 2008

So I'm watching the American Idol show (true, I'm watching it very half heartedly ever since what I considered the good people were voted off - I'll leave you wondering who) and I was shocked with the star line up this year. These stars put the gay in gay - Dolly Parton? Mariah Carey? Broadway with Andrew Lloyd Webber? But now they've gone too far. Neil Diamond? Okay, so he's not gay but he's certainly Jewish so welcome to my world. But what amazed me more than knowing the lyrics to Dolly Parton's "Coat of Many Colors" (a horrifying admission I'm all ready regretting mentioning) was the fact that I knew every word to every Neil Diamond song. Why do I know more Neil Diamond than the American Idols? - Don't Get Me Started!

When I was growing up, my aunt and uncle were obsessed with Neil Diamond. I'm not quite sure why but I do remember that they had a complete shelf of Neil Diamond 8-tracks in their very dark paneled den. Oh how they loved him. They went to his concerts, they played his music and somewhere no doubt they had a bottle of "Cracklin' Rosie" (if you have no idea what I'm talking about, you obviously didn't live through the "Diamond Days" (as no doubt someone calls them).

What was it about Neil Diamond that drove the world crazy? I get that the songs are much more than "hummable" but there was something more. Whether you liked his raspy voice, the sideburns or the glitzy shirts he wore, Neil Diamond has "it." Unfortunately the same cannot be said of the American Idols this season.

I dread it when the "dreads" boy sings. Beautiful eyes but that voice could put you to sleep faster than a Sound Soother from Sharper Image. Brooke White with her constant grimace and her Carly Simon wannabe questionable musicianship just leaves me cold. Syeshia is so fake that she reminds me of Phylicia Rashad (and that's not a good thing). David Archuleta sings like a teenage girl with a bad self body image who goes backstage and cuts herself. All the closing of the eyes and only being able to sing moody ballads...and although I have the good taste to not say anything, if you're asking me, yes his membership card is in the mail. And then there's that David Cook and his hair. I've seen people trying hard with their hair but this guy must spend hours getting that "fucked-up-I-don't-care-what-my-hair-looks-like-even-though-I-spent-fourteen-hours-on-it-caring-about-how-much-it-looks-like-I-don't-care-about-it" hairstyle. I'm sorry it's just distracting and to me and I hate to say it, but much more interesting than his voice or lack of stage presence.

Is it just me or have the last two seasons delivered less than "star material" when it came down to the finalists? Does anyone even care that Jordin Sparks (winner of last season) has vocal cord problems? Wasn't the real problem that her vocals were amateur night at its best to begin with?

The one thing good about having stars on Idol is that you see what a real star is and you remember them performing and it really lets you know that when someone really has that indefinable star quality, you just know it. And what I do know is that I'd rather have a shelf full of Neil Diamond 8-tracks than one CD of any of these so-called Idols! And maybe that's why I know more Neil Diamond than the American Idols? - Don't Get Me Started!

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    • Angela Harris profile image

      Angela Harris 9 years ago from Around the USA

      Agreed that American Idol should be renamed American Amateurs. I don't even bother to watch anymore. I've heard better pipes from our local meth junkie.

    • profile image

      Grayson 9 years ago

      Dearest of all Scotts, Scott. What about Paula Abdul. On (no doubt) vicodin or something similar, she couldn't read the cards the producers gave her. Did you hear her pathetic multiple excuses and how the all scrambled to tell her to SHUT UP ALREADY?!?

      She hurt herself not long ago and blamed her dog. Geez. She freakin fell over her enhanced lips. That lip gloss can be slippery (not that I have any personal experience with lip gloss).