Why Does The Last Half Hour In Your Work Week Take The Longest To Go By?
I know by now most of you are probably sick and tired of my fart jokes, but today while sitting at my desk, I had my foot up on my leg, and my shoe was leaning against the backboard of my desk. I'm sure you know what happened from there.
My boss of course was sitting behind me... and I moved my foot a little and it let out this God forsaken enormous ripping sound, it frigging echoed! Echoed I tell ya.
I turned beet red because I knew exactly what he was thinkin'. He was thinkin' I just laid a big one, and he quickly proceeded to say 'have a good weekend.. I errr have an appointment to make', as he tossed me my check.
I knew that he thought I laid an egg, and he wasn't about to sit in my fog. Why is it that fake farts manage to be even more embarrassing than real ones? Probably because you can hold in real ones, and let em rip later on when no one is around.
Anyhow, no matter, I got my check, and already I'm wondering what I can buy myself with this weekend. Maybe some new gadget that I don't really need, but think I need.
Sadly I'm stuck in that Twilight Zone time right now though. You know the Twilight Zone time right? It's when you have only a half hour left till you are free to enjoy the weekend, and that last goddamn half hour is taunting you by not daring move into the 29 minute mark.
The minute seems to tick by at record slow speeds, and even though you have been taught since childhood that every minute has 60 seconds to it, you swear, swear, swear that time is standing still.
Not like I have anything to look forward to at home though, so I don't know what the big rush is. Usually I just spend my days off in front of the tube, chowing down on lean cuisines hoping to become a super slender model by Monday, and some agency will see me, and be like 'Oh my Lord, that girl is the next Monroe!',and then they hire me with a 4 million dollar yearly contract to appear on covers of their magz.
I must sleep eat though. I swear I must. I've been on this lean cuisine, smart ones, counting points and calories diet for a good 3 weeks now, and I swear my butt is bigger, and my boobs have shrunk. Go figure.
I figured though, before my day came to an end (doesn't look like it's going to happen anytime soon though) I may as well wish my fellow hubaddicts a weekend farewell.
See you again on Monday... that is, if I don't get that modeling contract. Sigh.