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Why I Don’t Think Hallmark Needs To Make Gay Wedding Greeting Cards

Updated on August 26, 2008

I was raised that you send a thank you note for a thank you note. Personalized stationery has been in my life for as long as I can remember and although the Internet has brought the immediacy of an "e-card" I still like the good old fashioned greeting cards that come in the mail for any occasion. So it should not surprise you that I am a Hallmark gold card member. However, over the years I got less and less cards from the gang at Hallmark and the recent fervor about Hallmark making greeting cards for same sex marriages didn't surprise me or really have an effect on me. Why I don't think Hallmark needs to make Gay Wedding Greeting Cards - Don't Get Me Started!

Let's face it, Hallmark hasn't really done all that much for us gays or any of the minorities I belong to or am associated with ever, frankly. They feel like that person who hugs you because there's an awkward pause in the your greeting them but once you're holding them you may as well be holding a block of wood. They're not comfortable, you're not comfortable and you just wonder why you're doing it at all. That's how I feel about the Hallmark gang (on the whole). Long have I wondered why the Christmas cards are all boxed and in plentiful supply yet the Hanukkah cards are always in some obscure place on a bottom shelf or corner end cap, the cards are much smaller than the Christmas cards and they're shrink-wrapped instead of being in a box. Do they think that it'll make us "cheap Jews" think they're cheaper because they're not in a box and are smaller? What's the psychology behind that one, I ask you experts? I've never been able to figure it out but it pisses me off all the same so to not get myself aggravated, I don't go into a Hallmark around the holidays.

Then there's the ethnic every day and event cards. Puhlease! Due to the fact that I have been with a black man for what will be twenty years (a few weeks from now) from time to time on a birthday for a nephew or for what can only be called my "in-laws" after all these years (even though we're not married, our state doesn't recognize same sex marriage and I can't see us "jumping the broom" over to California to do it any time soon) I, on occasion, have looked to get them a Hallmark card that wasn't so white it seemed as though it was made by Wonder bread. Aside from the Maya Angelou line, the rest of their "ethnic" card lines once again feel forced, awkward and like that hug from that block of wood person.

The only saving grace (in my humble opinion) for Hallmark is their Hoops and YoYo line online. If you want to send a funny e-card, you'll send one of these. And if they weren't created, voiced or had someone gay along the way to make them happen I would be very surprised.

So when I heard that Hallmark was going to come out with "Same Sex Wedding Greetings" a look similar to when it's hard to pass gas came across my face. Should Hallmark even be trying to get into this market? I thought back to the tiny plastic wrapped Hanukkah cards and the cards for black people that always seem to have only the colors of the flag of Africa on them or some scene from the Serengeti on them and it just seemed to me that Hallmark need not even go there because it was going to be yet another half-hearted, block of wood hug from the company. What is it they say about the alley behind a gay bar being paved with good intentions? (Wait, that can't be right, can it?) Maybe the road to Hallmark Gay Wedding Cards is a little like that road to hell that's paved by good intentions? But when the "American Family Association" and "Concerned Women for America" demanded a boycott saying that "Hallmark is jeopardizing its brand as a family-friendly company" and certain Hallmark managers refused to put the cards on their shelves, I had to say, "Good for you Hallmark and screw you, you concerned ladies and Hallmark Managers (who may very well be one and the same) who are so uptight you probably don't screw well at all!" But am I really as angry as I seem? No.

You see I don't need Hallmark for their Barbie, limited edition Christmas ornaments or their cards because (and yes, here comes another shameless plug) I have friends in the card business who make the best freaking cards in the world and guess what? I'm featured on a couple of them! (And how funny is it that my latest one is a Christmas card?) That's right, if you want great cards and gifts that will endear (and perhaps give you some distance) from your loved ones, look no further than MikWright at Thanks to Phyllis and Tim, "Hallmark, we don't need your stinking gay wedding cards!" And that's why I don't think Hallmark needs to make Gay Wedding Greeting Cards - Don't Get Me Started!

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    • starrkissed profile image

      starrkissed 9 years ago from Arizona

      Yet another great hub! I love your writing style.