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Why Guys Are Losers and Women Still Love Them

Updated on April 17, 2008

There are only so many reasons why women love men, here is one of the possibilities.


Now, first off, I am going to qualify this article by saying that I am a guy. And I'm not a loser. I've been happily married for 8 years and all plans will allow my marriage to last to the end. I attracted, seduced and married my dream woman. And from what I have learned, used and read I can honestly tell you I have no idea why the girl I loved and lusted after so much actually did, after I am did, marry me.

Life is strange.

The point that I am trying to make is that guys will take all kinds of courses, read books, cruise "Pick-Up Artist" (PUA) forums for help to meet, attract and date women when most of what happens between men and women is instinct instead of training.

I will admit that the materials I have read over many years have been great with the little tips men need to know about: things to say, how to dress and how to behave as a man, not a child.

Thus we have the basis for men being losers: they really aren't comfortable in situations that take them beyond the instinctive hunter/gatherer profile of early man. A man that can "bring home the bacon" expects adoration and companionship simply because of what he has accomplished and for no other reason.

The hungry man hunts and gathers to provide sustenance for himself and to add to his own selfish comfort he will share a portion of what he has with woman. That sharing is not instinctive but more accurately an act of self-survival and self-preservation. He is a loser that does not fully appreciate the role women have in the world, he does not know how to relate to women in anything but a basic "instinctive" logical level.

Emotions are not a hunter's friend so they are muted in man. You cannot hunt deer if you love bambi. And the same goes for his emotional state with women. You cannot emotionally act if at the same time you are competing with available food and shelter and other material goods with women.

With men, when it comes down to logic versus emotion, logic wins out every time.

Let's say this another way:

Man has stuff.

Woman receives stuff from man.

Woman responds with emotional love and comfort which man learns to equate with the ability to provide. Man does not understand love as a freely given action.

Because man cannot make this emotional "love" connection he continues to use his ability to provide as his method of returning love and affection to woman.

To sum the last few paragraphs up, because man cannot love freely without the ability to provide being a focal point of his emotional person, he is a loser that does not understand love as its own reward.

Woman can give love and return love. When man is loved he responds by logically providing sustenance and shelter instead of offering emotional love as a gift of its own.

Man is a loser that every woman, generally speaking, needs to train in the art of freely given love. I'm not talking about the physical love but the emotional state of love. Man learns from woman that love does not have a connection to material things. Love is not a sacrifice of goods and labor for another.

Women love men, the losers, because they are emotionally aware and earnest in their efforts to understand man's lack of emotional freedom and to actually allow him to discover his emotional love through the woman's sacrifice of her own self-sufficiency.

Just as one man cannot do everything that another man can do, women cannot do everything a man can do, this is evolutionary and historical fact but it has no reality in the limitation of a woman's self-awareness and ability to provide for herself.

Woman's emotional drive may seem to a man to be a crutch that limits a woman's abilities but this would be incorrect thinking.

Again, another reason why men are losers: in similar circumstances they anticipate a woman's reactions to be equal to a man's reactions which drives a wedge into the gap of understanding between the sexes.

Men, by their use of logic, do not understand women. They are losers.

Women understand, through their emotional intelligence, that man is corrupted by logic, and also that men can be taught to elevate their emotional plateau to the surface of their identity and in this way make the all important connection to woman.

Women love men because men can be redeemed through love.

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    • R Pseudomen profile imageAUTHOR

      Robert Lee 

      6 years ago from Canada

      This guy is the definition of loser.

      YOU may love HIM but he's just taking advantage of you. Add up the money he owes you and have afrank and open talk about him paying you back. You'll then find out what he really thinks of you.

      So sorry to have to be the one to tell you.....


    • profile image


      6 years ago

      My boy friend is a loser......

      Give me some advise ,i been w my boy friend for 4 years,his job is bad w the economy now,He borrowed my money many time,if when we go out Im the the one have to paid all the time, even just few months ago his car is broke down,I give him money to buy the used car,if he have time he just want to sleep ,dont want go to find another job,he always say" just wait,just wait" I dont know what he waiting for.He live with his roomate 70 years old, that lady may need him for helping sometime in the house or drive her to the Doctor so maybe He dont need to pay for rent.He never bring me go to meet that his roomate. Im love him but Im so boring and tired of him because he always the same.I gave him many time of chance I thnk maybe he will better but its never will...We just fight each other a month a go n He say he want move on, I still love him but before my decition I want to have adviser from all the people out there to help me is should I keep him or let him go,I know if I want to keep him I have to take care of him like i ever been, by the way my boy friend is 54 years old, have no kid and Im is 48 years olds single Mom and have 1 kid,

      Please read my story and let me know all friend there....

      Thank you very much and love you guys...


    • R Pseudomen profile imageAUTHOR

      Robert Lee 

      6 years ago from Canada

      Hi Chuck, The "Biologically programmed" option would be for procreating, rather that survival first, don't you think?

      We see this in nature all the time, the dominant male survives battles with his challengers and wins the most desirable mate.

      But he still has to provide to her in order that his progeny will be born and survive as well. (Even though in some species the male is not around for the "baby rearing".)

      I think that a man's validation is that he can offer support and comfort, even empathy, towards his mate, which is what puts us above other animals.

      But we no longer "hunt and gather" do we? We work and shop which is a far cry from the reality of even a few centuries ago.

      Modernization and civilization as a whole has moved us beyond the precepts of life as it used to be.

      Now we gather toys, we preen to find a mate.

      We face new challenges.


    • profile image


      6 years ago

      I think women love men because they are biologically programmed to, a feature that evolved due to necessity. Just as women have abilities men lack, men have abilities that women lack. Women "love" men because their brain releases chemicals, such as estrogen and oxytocin, to facilitate this behavior, and therefore, the survival of our species. In modern society, women dont need men to survive to such an extent, and tradition gender roles have faded. We can now see that men arent completely emotionally incapable, and women arent completely illogical. Also, how does accomplishment in the "basic hunter gatherer profile" not validate man? You make it sound like such a trivial component of society, when it is the backbone?

    • profile image


      7 years ago

      If I read you correctly, it is a woman's role to cure a man's ignorance of unconditional love. Christianity has taught for two millenia that this is actually Christ's role and that only an omnipotent deity is actually capable of demonstrating pure intact unconditional love. How can a flawed human demonstrate unconditional love with absolute zero self-service? It's not possible, a man or a woman always has a selfish incentive no matter how small or hidden. Even the pleasure of demonstrating an act of kindness and love is still a selfish motive, it is the neurochemical reward of dopamine and oxytocin. An omnipotent deity whom operates outside of space-time has no need of incentives, thus only God is actually capable of teaching this form of education. The biblical model, which is by no means new and incredible, makes man and woman equal and puts God at the apex of the relationship. The secular model takes a partner and incorrectly elevates him/her to the status of deity. Disappointment becomes inevitable when they realize their partner isn't all powerful. The trouble-is, without God at the apex of a relationship the only other model is this secular model. Humans are designed and built to worship, we just have a choice as to what/who that will be.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 

      7 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Finally. Someone stood for me. Thank you.

    • R Pseudomen profile imageAUTHOR

      Robert Lee 

      7 years ago from Canada

      Hi Chet, have much of an ax to grind? Did a search for "Chet the loser" bring you my way?

      Quote" Women love men, the losers, because they are emotionally aware and earnest in their efforts to understand man's lack of emotional freedom and to actually allow him to discover his emotional love through the woman's sacrifice of her own self-sufficiency."

      if she'd been cheating that long on you, well, enough said.


    • profile image


      7 years ago

      Wow!! What happened to you that would have skewed your view on men to this extent?? A man designs and builds civilizations. A man establishes and maintains forms of government and societies which allow sad little trolls such as yourself to have access to the Internet. A man fights and dies for his country or dedicates his entire life to medical science in order to cure many of history's major illnesses. A man has 3 children, a wife and a beautiful home before she decides to shake the foundation out from under him after 5 short years of marriage when she opts to leave him for her boss whom she had been fucking fairly regularly for 6 months prior.

      With the $800/monthly in child support payments which coincidentally are now paying 80% of the mortgage for the house he has just been ousted from, this man is now forced out of the home that he designed and built and into a shitty bachelor apartment because that's all he can afford, while his ex wife is sitting pretty in HIS house, driving HIS car and fucking her newly acquired boy toy in HIS bed while HE'S stuck footing the bill for most of it.

      You want to call men losers? Let me tell you something ya little piss ant: Don't speak on what you know nothing about, because a man you are FAR from. Lastly, it has become popular and even encouraged in society to haul off and abuse the men of the world. You see it in the media everyday, portraying us as good for nothing slobs. The truth of the matter, the world is in the process of changing...again. And when the pendulum begins swinging back our way, the feminie agenda and all of it's sad, fat and pathetic self importent, weakling followers such as yourself, will be squashed like the worthless little insects you have become.

      Oh and one more thing Mr. high RPM, Low IQ, YOU'RE the loser!!!

    • R Pseudomen profile imageAUTHOR

      Robert Lee 

      9 years ago from Canada

      Did you miss the opening paragraph of this article?

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I found this very perplexing. You put all the blame on men...have women no part in this???? I really don't think it all boils down to instinct! There are many men in this world who are in touch with their emotional side, many of these men are not partnered up with women. If your theory is correct how do you explain the man who cooks,cleans,provides, sheds a tear now and then, and has passionate sex???? Doesn't quite make sense!!


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