I think the first step is to figure out what you DON'T want in a man. Things that would be sort of a deal-breaker for you. Certain characteristics that you just could not tolerate. It is often easier to see what we do not want than to see exactly what we do want. Next, you should figure out what is important to you. If you really want to have a family, you should find a man who truly likes kids. No one wants to marry a guy and have his children, only to find out that he would rather not be bothered by them. If you have certain beliefs or interests that are important to you, you should look for someone who can see eye to eye. If you love to travel, it would probably never work out with a guy who hates to leave home. If you are religious, you should find someone with similar beliefs if you wish not to have problems later down the road. Next you should decide what personality traits you enjoy most in other people. Not necessarily just men, but in people you enjoy being around. If you love to have intelligent conversations, you should probably not look for someone who barely speaks more than an occasional grunt. If you are shy and easily embarrassed in big crowds, you may not want to go for the guy in the middle of the room bashing beer cans on his forehead while forty of his closest buddies cheer him on. Ditto, if you hate immature men you need to babysit. I think the most important thing is just to keep an open mind. You could miss out on true love if you stick to finding a man with only the characteristics on your list. You could have a wonderful man who would make you perfectly happy right next door, yet spend your entire life looking for the perfect man with everything you ever wanted, only to find out he doesn't exist.