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do women really mean what they say

Updated on June 20, 2007


Your woman just got home from shopping and is modelling her new dress for you. She circles the room and looks at you expectantly, waiting for your opinion. Naturally, you are confused. Is she asking for your honest opinion or is she fishing for a compliment?

Sometimes, determining what your woman is asking you can be a challenge, especially in the early stages of a relationship. This communication barrier is no one's fault. Rather, it can be attributed to the fact that men and women speak very different languages. While men are used to being more direct with one another, women tend to be more subtle, often using hints.

So don't be surprised when you and your woman have such misunderstandings. There are some common phrases that women use, try to understand them to bridge the gap between what she says and what she means.

She says: "I'm not angry."

What she means: I'm angry.

If she's pursing her lips and not speaking to you, but claims she's not angry, she's probably bluffing. She could simply be bottling up her anger or she may think that her man should just know why she's upset, without her having to tell him.

What you should do: Try to figure out why she's upset and talk about it. The issue is not going to go away. In fact, if you don't deal with it, she'll just have bottled-up anger towards you and it'll come back to bite you later.

She says: "I think of you as a brother."

What she means: I'm not attracted to you.

It means she's letting you know that she's not into you, and may be it's kinder than telling you the truth.

What you should do: In this case, just don't make a move on her.

She says: "I like your friends, but..."

What she means: I don't like your friends.

She doesn't want to insult you or your friends, so she's not telling you outright how much she dislikes them. She probably thinks they're a bad company and wants you to hang out with them less.

What you should do: If she has a valid reason to dislike them, then you might take her concerns into consideration. Otherwise, simply tell her that your friends are equally important to you.

She says: "You don't communicate enough."

What she means: How do you feel about our relationship?

She wants to know what you feel where the relationship is going, but doesn't want to come off as needy.

What you should do: Put her mind at ease and tell her what you think about the relationship.

She says: "Why don't you try to kiss me like this?"

What she means: I don't like the way you do it.

She doesn't want to hurt your feelings. But this is not all bad, she likes you enough to want to work at it and make it better.

What you should do: Try it her way and see how it goes.

She says: "I really like that guy's hair."

What she means: I don't like yours.

She figures that it's a lot nicer to hint at this than to tell you outright.

What you should do: Get a second opinion on your hair. She may be right. But, if your second opinion tells you otherwise, feel free to stick to your guns and your hairstyle. In that case, just pretend that you didn't get her hint.


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