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Affiliate Marketing Secrets - Top 7 Tips to Writing Useless, Forgetable Articles

Updated on March 16, 2008

Totally serious article-writing tips

This is a short article that's going to explain everything you ever needed to know about making a ton of money online which is how I make my living so you can definitely take my word for it. Nobody lies on the Internet.

Use phrases like "the Answer" and "secret buried treasure"

The Internet is the biggest collection of free, democratized information in human history. It is perfect for sharing well-kept secrets. That is practically the only thing people use the Internet for. Everybody wants to know the secret to writing good articles--usually so that they can go out and write their own articles about awesome secrets.

If you are a writer or like to read or know how to read, you might be inclined to writing useful articles with content. The thing is, people don't want thorough content. If a thing is entertaining for 45 seconds, it is great. Trying to entertain somebody for 3 minutes is not advisable. Almost everybody is looking for instant gratification and secrets. Hopefully, secrets that are 300-500 words. Longer secrets and answers are not so useful.

Clip art of gold coins and $$$

People on the Internet are professionals. Affiliate marketers are smart and refined customers looking for a way to make money. They are trained to see through the millions of articles on the web and pick out the most valuable information (and secrets).

If you want to catch the carefully trained eye of an affiliate marketer, you will need to use clip art of gold dubloons and dollar signs. A lot of people write about money which is good because we all love to learn secrets about money, but nothing gets through to an affiliate marketer like a powerful image. They have honed their skills to detect the slightest bit of value on the Internet and a glimpse of $$$ will get them really riled up.

Write more articles

Never look back. The Internet is a constantly changing place and information is being added faster than you can read it. That means you never have time to go back and work on an old article. Just write a new one.

You shouldn't even look at the top part of this article again, because it is the past, and the web is the future. Affiliate marketers who just try to keep up with trends will be left in the dust making a couple cents here and there but not enough to pay the bills. Article writers who make money are the ones who are focused on tomorrow's big secret.

The Internet is pretty much infinitely big. They keep it on the moon or something and, when it is out of space, they will put it on other moons or somethings. There are a lot of moons in space and there is no chance that we will run out of Internet. So write more! Write faster!

Use HTML to make money

Search engines look at the bold words on your site as more important. People are smart enough to just ignore your bold text so don't worry about readability. You should totally highlight things that people will type into a search engine. Optimization of this strategy will make sure affiliate marketers and article marketers find you through search engines.

People who are smart will love that you are writing for search engines instead of writing for people because they will see what a sweet strategy that is and how well it worked for your webpage. Ranking amongst the top responses to this writing strategy are big high fives (way high), slaps on the back and huge thumbs up.

Research Right

It's important to do research, but you have to do the right kind of research. Spend a lot of time finding out about SEO (Super Everything Overdosing) which is about getting people to find your article. Do not waste time researching the content because that is lame.

If people wanted to read about something old, they could have researched it themselves. They are reading your article to find out about things that have never been known before. They are looking for NEW secrets.

Citations and references are a sign of weakness. They are a waste of time and an association with the past and libraries (which are also a waste of time). If you need to use a reference or research, it wasn't worth saying.

Leave them wanting more

Once you have used these good tips to build up trust with your reader, they will believe in you. After all, you have given them a lot of secrets for free. Advice like this is very rare and valuable on the Internet.

As long as you are not promoting yourself too much or citing things like research, they will assume you are a qualified professional writer who is giving them great advice about the next big thing in Internet marketing.

Now that people trust you, hold back a little so that they have to follow links on your page. For example, I have not included a 7th tip. I assure you it was a good one, probably the best on this list. But I don't know if you're ready for it. Try working with these first six and maybe visit my sponsors. After you have trained up a little, you might deserve the seventh tip.

Feedback on my advice

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    • profile image

      Steven Lanier 8 years ago

      Great Hub, timeless articles really are the lifeblood of long term success in affiliate marketing. Articles and content that will continue to produce traffic years into the future.

    • Internet-Profit profile image

      Internet-Profit 8 years ago from India

      I guess tip No 7 is what internet marketing is all about. Tearing ypour hairs for the ultimate key and literally eating every words and following the master like rats behind the pied piper. Nice article.

    • profile image

      Im Leadership 8 years ago

      This information rocks

    • mroconnell profile image

      mroconnell 8 years ago from France

      Jd and Free tips have reminded me of an eigth key to writing meaningless articles online! You will totally get tons of traffic if you post unrelated links in people's comments and then make another account to act like a happy third party. This is an excellent tip.

    • profile image

      Jd 8 years ago

      My link provides you all with a new program out there that's leaving google in the dust. Don't know how long the price will be this low again either

    • profile image

      multimastery 9 years ago

      Man you got a lot of wit LOL

    • joblot profile image

      joblot 9 years ago from Ringwood

      Great stuff this, nicely written and I had great fun noticing your bolded words!

    • Poopalina profile image

      Poopalina 9 years ago

      This is wonderful. Thanks for the laugh!

    • In The Doghouse profile image

      In The Doghouse 9 years ago from California


      Marvelous sense of humor. I loved this Hub, it shows us exactly what to do to make it big! Great Job.

    • robie2 profile image

      Roberta Kyle 9 years ago from Central New Jersey

      Ahhhh so that's what I've been doing wrong--not enough clip art of gold dubloons and dollar signs ROTFL. You forgot about using pix of hot female celebs in bikinis--only trouble is that only attracts teen-age boys who don't read the article but just look at the pix oh well, a pageview is a pageview--who cares if they read or not. Fabulous work Mr O'C I love a guy who understands the use of irony and am hoping you will turn your talents to a review of online dating sites. Thumbs UP!!!!!!!

    • Sandilyn profile image

      Sandilyn 9 years ago from Port Orange, FL

      You have some good points. There are so many get rich schemes and that is what they are, schemes!


    • Lemonarian profile image

      Lemonarian 9 years ago from BorĂ¥s

      Haha your hubs are hilarious.

    • mroconnell profile image

      mroconnell 9 years ago from France

      Oh I don't know if you've earned it! But I do like your gusto and aggresiveness. Maybe you should check out my hub about pirate marketing.

      You seem to have the demeanor of a pirate marrrketer.

    • profile image

      SirDent 9 years ago

      Good hub. I wonder how many people will fall for scams on the internet looking to get rich. NOW GIVE ME TIP NUMBER SEVEN!!!