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Teen Awkwardness About Dating

Updated on January 10, 2009

What guys need to know about girls and dating

The main problem is that guys and girls, under 21, maybe even older, have a real lack of communication skills.

It's easy to chat online, send smileys and all that, but nothing important and interesting is ever said. There is no real communication because you haven't been taught what to say.

And when face-to-face time is available, both guy and girl don't know what to say, what the next step is, so they play shy and rely on the other to say something like "Let's hang out" which is a basic promise that isn't followed up because it starts the whole "Dating thing" cycle, which can lead to a breakup, which also leads to heartache and who wants to go there?

So, the guy likes the girl, the girl likes the guy and the relationship is stalemated because no one wants to take the next step and have to worry about rejection and breakup. Or what friends might say and all kinds of nervous things like that.

If you've been able to follow along, this means if you're in this situation that you didn't mess up, you haven't lost a great opportunity with the girl because it never really existed!

You were being played but not in a bad way, this just happened because there are no rules to follow for young people to just "hang out" and try to "date each other" and understand what is going on with their friends and themselves.

So, because these are unwritten rules, they are instinctive, not verbal, I will give it my best shot to provide a guideline that will help you get her back.

1. Communication

If you have something positive to say, then say it. Don't chat online by sending smileys, that really isn't communicating, is it? If you have to IM her, tell her what you're doing right now, tell her what you have planned tomorrow and ask her to meet up with you, then end the IM.

Sending smileys and silly IM notes is really just an empty, awkward pause in a conversation and get's boring really fast, so just don't do it.

The main reason teens don't date is because they don't know what to say, although they know what type of response they'd like.

Heartache and heartbreak is very real at this age (well, really at any age) but the nervousness of being ignored or rejected can be overcome by communicating with the girl you like.

2. Hanging out

One of the hardest part of liking a beautiful, popular girl (and even the shy ones for the most part) is planning a time to spend together, to hang out, where there won't be any awkwardness.

To avoid this awkwardness you nee to "have a plan" that when you meet up with her, you have something to do with her. And I'm not talking about anything sexual, just something to do together, like window shopping, talking about vacations, places you'd like top see, the career you want to do, not too heavy but fun, interesting talks together. Walk in a local park, go to a local museum, head to the library and check out some books... get the point? Hanging out with her doesn't need to cost any money but it must involve the two of you, of the two of you and some friends, actually doing something.

3. Sharing each other's company

You like her, she likes you, and you know this because of you asking her friends whether she likes you and so this game begins. But, and this is a biggie, if you act on the info from her friends at this point you must, directly, ask her to hang out with you at a certain time, a certain place.

If you both are too shy to plan actual time together, whether alone or with friends, too shy to talk about things without awkward pauses, then you need to remember, you are sharing time together.

It's very likely you are sharing the same feelings for each other too, but cannot overcome time, space, and the mass confusion of life that surrounds you to easily overcome this awkward pause of life and get together.

So you need to say to her (NOT "I like you") I want to hang out with you at "this place" on "this time".

Have a plan to share time together, make the effort, don't just roll along like a tumbleweed, waiting for someone else make the magic happen between the two of you.

4. Understanding the very real chance that getting together might involve breaking up at some point too

Hanging out, spending time together, is all very good and real. But, at a young age it's easy to make future plans with the one you like that aren't really going to happen. You are always on the verge of the awkwardness happening and a break in sharing, a break in communication, then it happens, she doesn't like you any more and you find yourself in a break-up.

Getting together, spending time together, is great. But don't plan for the long away future with her because then she knows that you're really just a wussy and she can control you and she wants a guy that's great too and she ends things with you because you want her more than she wants you and you're just dragging her down and you talk about nothing and when you say you love her it's just because she's popular or great looking but doesn't involve the real, inner her, and she senses this and dumps you.

Out of these 4 sections we can boil everything down to:

Don't be a wussy;

Talk with her and when the talking is done, well stop talking. End the IM, hang up the phone, stop texting her, etc;

Have a plan;

Share time at first, share feelings after the real connection is made;

Be nice toward her but be calm and cool too, understand that women like guys that seem to have everything under control, not nerds or jerks.

There are a lot of places to find more info like this and my siggestions are below.

So, now you know what to do and handle this situation with the girl you like.


The Best Online Dating Tip In The World




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      Pat 8 years ago

      Thanks for the Advice again. I will take this info. I hate the "Whole Dating thing" cycle where she doesn't talk to you then you don't know what to do. I always have a plan, Just everything seems to fall apart. Is there such things as guys with "No Luck". Personally i think that it takes luck more than skill to get girls. I've been trying to get one for a long time but it usually turns out a "no" when i ask, or some problem after or during the first date.