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What You Should Consider Before Getting Into A New Relationship

Updated on November 19, 2008

what you should consider before getting a new date

After any long-term relationship it may be tough to find the inner strength or desire  to open your heart to love again especially when been jilted by your first lover.  When a love interest comes knocking at your door, how do you know that old battle  wounds and scars have been healed enough to let love in? Seeing as each person is  completely individual, there really isn't a way to know exactly when the right time  to begin a new relationship is. What may work for one person, may not work for  another. Fortunately, there are a few key attributes that successful relationships  have in common. If you find that you meet these, then it may be time to let love in.  When you're ready to analyze your heart's state of affairs, take an honest look at  the questions below to determine how ready you really are.  1 - Is Life Style Stable? How can you possibly hope to keep a relationship together if your life isn't put  together properly? I think many of us use relationships as a way to help fix  ourselves and our emotional state, when actually; we should be trying to do that  before we find someone else. Isn't it true that a good many of our love interests  result from someone who was there to give us a stable hand? How do you think your  next relationship will benefit if you were already stable?  2 - What have you learnt from your past relationship? On our path through life we encounter many different obstacles, people and  experiences. This is what makes us unique and experienced. Everyone has a  different life experience. The people who create happy lives take each experience  and make it work for them, especially if it is a negative one. If you haven't learned  something about the way you interact with another person from your past  relationships, you're living in cycle that won't get broken until you take the time to  find out. You can't possibly expect to break negative habits if you're not aware of  them. So think of what you can possibly learn from your former relationship, so that  you will not be making the same mistake twice.  3 - Have you taught deep within your self as to what kind of person you want to  meet? Each relationship offers us an opportunity to review our master list of qualities of  our ideal mate. Sometimes, what we thought we wanted didn't even come close to  what we really needed especially when you seems to be disappointed by the facial  expression of the person you are meeting. After a long-term relationship it is  especially prudent to revise your list of desirable traits. Were there things about  your past partner that hindered you from being really you? What traits would help  you feel the most comfortable with being yourself?  4 - Are you dwelling on your past? I know, you're probably thinking it's a misprint? You may be thinking "Don't you  mean past love?" Sometimes, I find we identify our past with our past loves. Our life  may have included something that was special that we may be feeling is missing  now. Somehow that gets wrapped up in our emotions with our past love. So, instead  of trying to find new ways to make our life more complete, we think we need to have  our past love to feel complete. Make sure you identify your real sources of desire  before beginning a new relationship.  5 - Have you talked about your feelings with someone else who is more older and  experienced than you? It is often easier to deal with the real issues of the heart privately. However, this  isn't always the best option. Talking about what's really going on in your mind and  your heart gives you the opportunity to release any painful or negative emotions  you didn't know you had bottled up. Trust me, there are almost always bottled up  emotions you're unaware of. If you don't have anyone you feel you can trust to talk  to, try talking to older ones whom you think will understand your emotions, avoid  taking to friends you think will only help you by instigating your present situation.   By evaluating yourself from the depth of your heart about these suggestions and  questions I believe you would have gotten some practical suggestions that would  help you get into a new relationship without been jilted the second time.   


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