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The Chicken Chick Lament

Updated on January 27, 2009

Chicken Chick Lament

 Time now is 4:04pm

I am so very, very bored. I can’t start cleaning until 6 o’clock at the earliest. It’s 4 now and there is absolutely shit all to do. I can see pavlova, muffins and chocolate croissants in the deli fridge and I want them all, except if I eat them all I’ll get a fat arse. And we don’t want that. Nobody wants a fat arse. So I shall continue to resist the temptations of the deli fridge. Mable and Barbara are talking in the department next door. Can I please have someone to talk to next time? Boredom causes insanity. I’m standing in a tiny space surrounded by chicken, talking to myself via a piece of butcher’s paper. I think I am going insane. Bread! Bread’s always good. There is a wall full of bread in front of me. I could go some bread. Maybe there is some at home. I live 10 minutes down the street, yet home is another … “checks clock”, 3 hours and 20 minutes away. 3 long hours and 20 surprisingly long minutes. I didn’t sign up for this. I signed up to serve people chicken for $13-50 an hour. Why doesn’t anyone want my chicken? Mabel says the honey mustard casserole looks good. There is a lady walking past. Maybe she will want some honey mustard casserole. No she is more interested in Mr Donut’s twin pack in the deli fridge. The deli has 3 people working now. The deli is always busy and un-bored like. That’s because the deli has the deli fridge with pavlova and muffins and chocolate croissants and Mr Donut’s twin packs and nice sugary, “good for your lips but bad for your hips” stuff – why didn’t I sign up to work in the deli?

Time now is 4:52pm

It’s nearing 5 o’clock. That means I’ll only have one more hour of boredom until I can actually do something constructive. More constructive than eyeing the cake 24 packs by the door and licking my dry lips. There are 2 customers here, but they are just having a look. Isn’t it nice that they can just have a look … buy if they want … leave if they want. Wouldn’t it be nice to go and use the toilet if I want J. They got some Portuguese chicken breast. Good choice, cya next time. And off they trot to the deli, The deli has more than chicken. The deli is the department of plenty. Plenty of variety and plenty of customers … should have signed up for the deli. Should have signed up for the deli. Phone is ringing, It’s not mine. It’s the deli phone. Should have signed up for the deli. It is past 5 now. Less than an hour of boredom to go!! Oh Jesus, I’m using exclamation marks in the conversation via butcher’s paper with myself. Boredom causes insanity. I’m going insane. I just laughed! Out loud – at the conversation I’m having, via butcher’s paper, with myself. People walking past will think I’m laughing with myself at a table top. But it’s ok, nobody’s walking past. Because no-one wants my chicken. Why doesn’t anyone want my chicken? A guy just walked in. He has big ears! Maybe he will want some chicken…. No he went to the deli. There is a lady looking at my chicken! No, she is looking at the bread on the racks in front of my chicken. Bread is part of the deli department. Should have signed up for the deli.

It is now 5:34pm

Half an hour to go. Not till I can go home and eat bread, that is 2 and half hours, half an hour till my never ending boredom ends. This week’s special is jumbo burgers; 10 for $10. It is funny how this week’s special is the same as every other weeks special. I can’t see a single person in the store, customer-wise. Not one! Oops there is one, no that was a staff member. And who thought it would be a good idea to have some Fibonacci playing some Beethowven unknown prelude over the radio… it’s just making life worse, Seriously. And why do we have about 167 chickens worth of chicken necks, but no chicken drumsticks. Does anyone actually eat chicken’s necks? I bet the deli has drumsticks. I wonder what we are having for dinner? I wish I was a Sim. If I was a Sim, then Alex would have made dinner for me whilst I was at work, and it would be ready for me when I got home. I could just flick on the fridge and get left overs. That would be nice J.


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