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7 Reasons Why Living in Pennsylvania sucks

Updated on November 4, 2015
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1: The lack of shit to do

At face value PA seems like a fantastic state. Many parks and forests to hike. Hershey park, Dorney Park, Knoebels, and Dutch Wonderland. It seems like fun for days, which is exactly what its good for, a 3 day trip to hike and go to Hershey and visit family. Besides that you don't have much to do at all unless you love mudding, then the mountains are for you.

The lack of activities and variations among st the very large and very vast state provide a large question as to why there is almost nothing to do. Drive-ins are few and far between only being open in the summer, and besides racing down a long street with friends or going up the mountains to camp, hike, or go mudding like previously stated. There are very few golf courses, little to no ice rinks. The lack of running and bike trails provide a huge lack of physical activity. There is just nothing to do in Pennsylvania that can't be accomplished in a 2 to 4 day trip to visit your family, kiss them and leave.


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2: Philadelphia

The city of brotherly love, once the staple city for American independence due to its historical significance. Now has become a crime infested smoldering city of deception and smut. I have visited Philly over a few years for various reasons. One visit was to look at the history of the city, and as a child with a love of history I was blown away by the Declaration of Independence and the Liberty Bell. However beyond that the history fizzles and fades into obscurity, especially as time has passed and I saw the darker, ghetto parts of Philly. Traveling through the ghetto you can just tell that it was a once beautiful city torn down and destroyed by its citizens. Graffiti both excellent and ugly on every street corner accompanied by trash and people sleeping on the streets just shows how Philly is a steaming cesspool of American failure instead of American Independence. Don't eve get we started about how some of the Philly Cheese steaks in PHILLY are the worst Phillies I have ever had. Oh an Lew Blum towing the most hated company owned by the most hated man in Philly. This towing company practicing shady business practices stole my car on a public street violating no laws and stole $213 from me to retrieve my vehicle.

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3: The emptiness

Now America is a very large country and Pennsylvania is a very large state, so some emptiness and excessive farm land can be expected, however in Pa there are a few cities, followed by decently to large sized suburban areas surrounded by..........nooooooooooooooooooooothing. There is literally three bigger cities of a decent size, the suburban areas making up a much larger portion than the cities usually connecting to the next suburban area of the next small town or city. After you make it out of suburbaggedon you are greated by cows and hoarse's as far as the tractor can drive. The amount of farm land is overly excessive and could easily be replaced with a few more amusement parks, a drive-inn or 2, maybe even a couple go kart tracks or paintball courts or lazer tag. Or even let's get a decent diner somewhere in there for once. But no that's not what they want, all we get are cows cows and more freakin cows.


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4: A conservative wet dream

In a state filled with redneck hillbilly republicans, a more left guy like me can only find safe heaven in the dark recesses of a dank disgusting cave. All because of my poiticcal views. People here love their politics, as does everywhere else and I am no different. However it is in the stunning lack of intelligent political discussion, and the absolute love for guns, Ben Carson, and Jesus that infuriates me to no end. While I don't identify as democrate, everybod around me and in my life identify as republican.

5: No Sun or Beaches

If you are like me at all, you love cities and beaches, especially places like O.C. Maryland or similar places atleast with beaches of some sort, even along a large river, or lake. Yes PA has a couple beaches like that, along lakes and rivers, however they are few and far between or pretty decently polluted to the point you don't even want to step foot into them. Now from central Pennsylvannia we are a good 3 hours from the closest beach. The closest river is much too polluted, so the source of any water fun must come from pools or creeks. I am all for a fun day with friends at the pool, or even a nice day floating down the creek with a beer in hand. However I love the sound of crashing waves, and the feeling of sand on my toes. While I am aware this is a personal preferrence it is why I hate it here so much. I can't learn how to surf, or do any water sports outside of water pollo. It is sad depressing and boring at best. This is also why there is no sort of tourist coming through the state. Excluding Philly, Pittsburg, and Hershey there is really no reason what so ever to come to Pennsylvania at all, outside of a family visit ot trip over to Hershey Park.

6: The Weather

Now my biggest issue with Pennyslvania stems from the weather in the state. Now while I do love 4 seasons, I love to bitch and compplain either way. I am a fan of Fall and winter, not so much spring and summer, unless of course I am going to a beach. Although I feel a little justified in stating that Peennsylvanias weather is obsurred and hectic at best.

The summers are scortching, making it no fun unless you have access to water of some sort, like a pool. Otherwise you're better off setting yourself on fire to stay cool. It goes long periods of extremely hot and dry, without a single drop of rain. Then all of sudden can't stop raining for days, of and on for hours on end ruining any chance you had to enjoy the outside if you wanted to. Don't even get me started on how bad it gets when it is scortching and humid.

Fall starts out exxtremely hot, left over from the summer, and immediatly takes no breather and takes a sprint towards fridged. While yes it frequently switches to cool off the air, we are usually treated with an overly emotional season that is either too hot or too cold for the time of year. While yes Halloween and Thanksgiving are great when it is chilly, we can see snow sometimes as eaarly as Halloween. That just isn't a holiday you associate with white wonderlands.

In recent years winters haven't been too bad. Excluding one very long, terrifyingly fridged and long winter. However we get treated with constant flip flops. We get either so cold that there is a warning to not go ouside. And then there are times you get afraid you wont even see snow that year. Winter also seems to last forever, the cold just doesn't want to leave until mid to late April depending on how lucky you are that year.

Spring is my leaast favorit. It is usually fridged for an extended period of time, jumping immediatly into hot. With even less of a transition than fall. On top of that, those that have allergies to anything, pollin especially will have a completely miserable, intolerable time. You will dreed springs approach every single year and regret even moving to this state for that fact alone.

7: Perry County

There is some magic about Perry County, almost like the black magic of some sort of indiginous people from the middle of scum fuck nowhere. If you love hicks and hillbillies to the hundreth degree, Perry County is your place.

To be honest I am a city Boy. I don't like the hole country livin, and esspecially not this backwoods mountain side livin that these Perry County Vermin love so much. From Perry county comes this weird sense of pride in the hick lifestyle. However the weirdest part doesn't come from that, it mostly comes from their weird inbreed sense of style not doesn't just include hillbilly tastes. No, many of these people seem to also both dress and believe they are ganster. It is a weird and interesting collaberation of cultures that many of them seem to try and blend. It is almost like wild animals trying to pecock for a mate, and is a ather interesting spectacule.

Now moving on from the people, just the area of Perry County alone is vial and gross. Almost everything is run down. Everything looks like an abandoned town straight out of a horror movie. That creepy factor is pushed up at night where you continually expect a serial killer to step out of no where and get in the way of the car, which we all know won't actually kill us. Andd if I havee seen enough horror movies Iwill infact get out of the car to check on the guy and get slashed. Now on top of that, the horror factor is amplified merely by the smell alone. It is so distinct and terrifying. I would never go up to Perry County without a reason to, because I had once for a fair. And that one time I went up willingly, I was met with a sickness like I havee never had before. I had never called off work before this visit to Perry County, but the sickness I got from willingly going there caused my first ever sick day, and I take that shit very serious.

Now on top of everything creepy, gross, run down, unsettling, and horrifying aboout Perry county. It haas some very serious actual problems. They have a almost no jobs up there. It is nearly impossible to get a stable well paying job there while living there. You are always traveling up and down the mountains, obsurred distances to go to work, or to even find a job. It gets frustrating, tedious, and expensive with gas extremely fast. Everything about Perry county is irriatting and frustrating at best. I still see no reason for why people live there.

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