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Updated on February 6, 2010


One Dollar a Pack!

When I was a kid, 150 years ago, my mom used to send me to the store for a pack of cigarettes. Twenty five cents in the machine, and out came a brand new pack of Pall Mall with two pennies change inserted on one side of the pack underneath the clear plastic wrapper. I got to keep the pennies. No one knew of the long term dangers back then.

That’s $0.23 cents folks. The last I heard, a pack of Marlboro, in the New York City area from a machine was well over ten dollars and that was before this latest 3 dollar or so tax hike. I can’t imagine what they are these days.

OK, let’s get real and right to the point:

1…Human beings have been smoking for the last 15,000 years and will continue smoking for the next 15,000 years.

2…Yes, smoking regularly is very bad for you but that’s my business as an adult, not anyone else’s especially my governments.

3…On the other hand, cigarette smoking has a few good physical and mental aspects as well that no one has mentioned in the last 30 years which I won’t get into on this hub but it’s true. That’s why people around the world have always smoked in the first place.

4…True, it is an unfair intrusion on non-smokers space to be forced to smell and breath in a smoker’s exhaled smoke especially in a semi-closed environment such as a restaurant. Then again, have you ever sat next to a person that thinks farting is cute? Or a Dapper Dan type that wears a cologne so disgustingly powerful it could faint a moose? What about you women out there that bathe in sickening perfume and some of you that have body odor so bad you should be arrested and isolated from the general public somewhere until you take a shower. No mention of any of these Neanderthals in the last 30 years huh? Why not? Light up a smoke within a mile of many of them and "Eeeeeeyouuuu!!! You stink, get away from me. You’re going to give me lung cancer" and on and on and on is what it’s come to. Personally, I’d rather sit next to a cigar puffing old man than inhale the putrefying methane from the inside of someone’s intestines and some of this aftershave crap is just as bad.

5…For the last 20 years, anti-smoking puritans have been working diligently to ban my right to smoke everywhere, not just in smoking sections in bars and restaurant sections but now, they’re looking to stop me from lighting up in my own front yard for Christ sake. Enough is enough! It ain’t gonna happen!

6…As usual, little by little over the last 20 years, lobbyist and relentless do-gooder, pink lunged pussies have convinced my government that it’s their right to tax my preference to smoke to the unbelievable degree they have now on top of all the other foolish smoking restrictions already in place. A great example is sitting in your local bar, watching a football game with your buddies, slurping a beer, munching some peanuts and smoking an occasional cigarette. Take any one of those global recreations away and you destroy and 5000 years old human tradition. What the hell’s wrong with smoking sections with exhaust fans like there used to be in some bars and restaurants? No….you want total control over me and my life style don’t you? Well it’s not going to happen, not unless you stop farting, wearing disgusting perfume, and cure your body odor problem. And by the way, no more sneezing and coughing in public places either, ever hear of the flu? The common cold? And dozens of other deadly diseases that have flat out killed billions of people over the years? Second hand smoke doesn’t even qualify. Have you whooses devised a way to identify people with Aids such as a tattoo somewhere so the rest of us can have the slightest chance of not dying a horrible death? No! Why the hell not? Don’t want to mess around with that one do you? Aids in a God damn global catastrophe that is well on its way to killing two thirds of every human being on the planet. No again, you’d rather spend your time preventing me from enjoying a beer and a smoke in a local bar. Get real people. And while you're at it, no more three martinis for lunch while you’re lobbying our government representatives. Alcohol consumption kills more consumers and innocent non-drinkers every year than all the cigarettes, cigars, and pipes combined.

7…Up until this recent, totally unfair and outrageous 3 dollar a pack tax hike, I was smoking generic brands I got for around $1.50 a pack. Turns out, they went the way of outrageous taxation as well. However, (and don’t tell anyone) you smart ass anti-personal rights and anti-smoking pussies screwed up big time right along with your government sorry-ass, capitulating law makers. You forgot to include cigars in your unwarranted attempt to force me with outrageous taxes to give up my personal right to light up a butt if I choose.

I should thank you, because I now pay just 1 dollar each for a pack of smokes. “Clipper” is another great brand. So they’re called “full flavor cigars” so what? I’ve tried real mini cigars in the past and believe me, they are real cigars. Not so with the two brands mentioned above. The first one you try will have an extremely slight hint of a cigar taste and smell but that’s it! From then on, you’d be hard pressed to tell them from a Marlboro or any other conventional cigarette. 1 dollar a pack folks. HAH! Stick that up your puritanical, pink lined, “ooohh you stink” noses.

8…Yes, smoking should be banned and restricted is certain public areas.

9…Yes in particular. Cigarette advertising, purchasing, using, and beginning the use of by young people should be totally controlled, education encouraged, and in any way possible, kept away from children even to the extent where cigarettes could only be purchased in liquor stores along with the hooch you non-smokers guzzle by the gallon. The objective being, to prevent young people from acquiring the habit in the first place. That’s where you need to put all your efforts, not unjustly taxing my personal rights as a smoker. I’ll pay the price for smoking in the long run but that’s my business, not yours, unless you’re willing to give up your coffee, booze, and other carcinogen loaded, habit forming drugs as well.

10…By the way, don’t even think of trying the “flavored” cherry, strawberry and other (yuk) options each of these brands offer. Just stick with the filtered, full flavor types. If you smoke a pack a day of your current brand at say 5 dollars a pack, you’ll save $1,460.00 dollars a year by switching over to one of the above brands.



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    • Craig Suits profile imageAUTHOR

      Craig Suits 

      8 years ago from Florida

      well I guess you've seen it happening for the last 20 years yourself. I just got tired of outragious taxes and half the world looking at me like I was some sort of weapon of mass destruction. Guess I'm not the only one....

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      You nailed it. Good hub.


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