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Buy NASCAR

Updated on March 23, 2012

NASCAR Gear

No other sport lets you watch people driving and turning left. You can't get a ride in NASCAR race, but you can gear up with all the latest souvenirs and accessories. All it takes is a credit card. Shopping online means no waiting interminably in miles of inching traffic only to find even longer lines stretched out from the T-shirt vendors when you finally make it to the track.

Buy NASCAR gear online to save money. The selection is better as well. None of your purchases will smell like oil or burned rubber, unless you're willing to pay extra.

Driving with the Devil: Southern Moonshine, Detroit Wheels, and the Birth of NASCAR

No one really believes that NASCAR originated in devilish designs, but the title of this book almost makes you want to read it. Evidently a cadre of lawbreakers drove fast to avoid legal entanglements pursuant to unauthorized transport of intoxicants. Aforementioned wheelmen conspired to derive significant ongoing income by meeting market demands. It's all in the book and it's all true, except the devil part. Probably.

42" Race Car Ceiling Fan

Wake up in the afternoon to a soothing breeze generated by 5 rotating blades of NASCAR goodness. Each blade boasts a car glued to it. Each car precisely balances out the other 4 cars to virtually eliminate wobble, which is a vary bad thing to have in a ceiling fan or a hotrod Chevy going 200mph down the back stretch at Talladega. The cars are carburated.

The motor turning the blades is designed to be quiet because you wouldn't want to try to sleep or anything like that with motors blaring in your face. Air Conditioning makes much more noise.

Rival Crock Pot Carrying Bag for Nascar Slow Cookers

Tucking your NASCAR slow cooker into a carrying bag festooned with anything other than NASCAR stitching indicates a distinct lack of loyalty. Expect to be ejected from the infield at Daytona unless your NASCAR gear comes wrapped in more NASCAR gear.

We love this carrying bag because it boasts the logo of our favorite team, Crock Pot Racing. For many years the drivers of CPR dominated tracks all across the American South, until Team Microwave knocked them off the counter. Those were the days.

Dale Earnhardt Jr #8 Nascar Fabric

It doesn't wear as durably as Nomex, but you can stitch a comfortable quilt from it. All your friends will admire your caftan or slipcover or triathlon singlet when it's made from Dale Earnhardt Jr. #8 NASCAR fabric. Be the envy of everyone else on pit row, except the Jimmy Johnson fans, who prefer turtle-neck pullovers and champagne anyway.

Trend Lab Musical Mobile, Nascar

When you bring home little Richard from the hospital and lay him in his bassinet, make sure the first image upon which his precious eyes focus is a NASCAR musical mobile. It rotates slowly while cranking out Brahms's Lullaby. All the big races start with a stirring rendition of The Star Spangled Banner, but that tends to be a little jarring for future drivers and tire techs. The cars are plush because this product does not come with SAFER barriers.

NASCAR Jeff Gordon #24 Wind Sock

Every top driver knows which way the wind blows, especially when it's time to renegotiate contracts. Attach this colorful flag to your trailer when you park it in the infield. Your favorite driver may need a landmark if he gets lost on the way to the recycling station. You never know who might drop by during a rain delay or a 10 car pileup.

This is not an actual sock that might be wearable on an actual foot. Order a pair if you insist on disproving this premise.

Race Car Socks

Here are some authentic human socks, as opposed to wind socks. They arrive on your doorstep in matching pairs and will remain such until you put them in the dryer. Tiny racing cars decorate each individual unit of footwear. You will feel faster immediately.

Apply one sock to each foot for an optimal wearing experience. In the event of an extremely cold race venue, such as Daytona in February, order several pairs and deploy duplicate socks on each lower appendage. Caution: your racing shoes may not fit if you wear an excessive number of socks.

NASCAR Shirt

A staple of NASCAR infields across the fruited plain, this ubiquitous shirt offers upper body adornment as well as admission to pit row at some lesser tracks in Southern Georgia. It's pretty much the uniform of the day at Wal Mart. Look for your favorite driver, owner, sponsor, and manufacturer. Remain loyal.

Store it on a hanger between wearings. Iron on low setting only, lest the logo begin to fade. Machine wash on gentle cycle, hang dry. Don't get married in it because cake stains are problematic.

Nascar PEZ Dispenser

Combine the world's most perfect candy with paint-swapping left-hand-turning bumper-to-bumper restrictor plate racing and you get this adorable souvenir. You'll never go hungry during the driver introductions with this handy gizmo at your side. Keep a steady supply of Pez next to the barbecue cooker and potato chips so your friends can snack during the race.

Many flavors are available. Some are naturally occurring and all come in handy rectangular configurations that pop out of the race car dispenser at your convenience. You'll get black flagged if you run out.

NASCAR Toothbrush

Many drivers have teeth and so should you. Maintain proper dental hygiene while concurrently paying homage to your favorite driver. It comes in team colors, but your teeth should a shade of white.

Stock up on these innovative cleaning devices just in case unexpected friends visit your infield campground and decide to spend the night. No one wants to wake up with breath that smells like an old carburetor.

NASCAR Cufflinks

What, you don't own a pair of NASCAR cufflinks? How do you plan to subdue your cuffs when you attend your next job interview? Unruly sleeves could mean the difference between manager and assistant manager: don't let that happen to you.

Pick out a few pairs of cufflinks proclaiming fealty to your favorite driver as well as NASCAR racing in general. Let everyone know precisely where you stand on the issue of stock car racing.

NASCAR Black Schedule Tour T-Shirt

If you lose your Blackberry, this shirt will provide crucial scheduling information. Don't get lost on the way to the next race. Race dates are enumerated on the back, so you may need a friend to assist.

Anyone sufficiently fortunate to stand in line behind you at the corndog concession will be grateful to have something to read. They may not verbalize, but you'll know.

Keith Urban uses shirt-scheduling strategy as well, except the schedule is for his concert dates. Do not confuse the two.

It comes in several sizes, but all have the same race schedule.On the front is a really cool logo that is not a schedule.

Comments

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    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      37 views. Sigh. I still love NASCAR. Really.

    • nicomp profile imageAUTHOR

      nicomp really 

      6 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @drbj: Christmas is coming...

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 

      6 years ago from south Florida

      Really ingenious products, nicomp, especially the windsock, but somehow I just can't get excited as you say so creatively ... "people driving and turning left."

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