ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Common Mistakes to Avoid in a Divorce

Updated on June 15, 2010

 By Andrew J Thompson

Most divorce cases should not be that difficult.  The law in nearly every state reduces the guess work in all but a few, rare situations.  Yet divorces often become protracted, dramatic and more painful than necessary because a litigant becomes his or her own worst enemy.  Below I recite a few of the most common and harmful mistakes and better ways of handling issues:

  1. Tell your attorney everything that is likely to be brought to light by the other sidein their zeal to make you look bad.  If you are in hard hitting custody battle, you can expect the very worst to be said about you.  Even the least reasonable people know that there has to be some measure of credibility to an allegation for it to stick, so these will be things you know about - and your attorney needs to know them too.  If you're sitting in court, and opposing counsel asks you if you've every been treated for drug addiction, and your attorney is hearing that, well, yes you have, - and for the first time, you will probably lose ground you may never be able to overcome.  This is often ashame, because a good attorney can usually take the weaknesses in your case and turn them neutral, if not in your favor. 
  2. Do not engage in mudslinging at any time.  Unless they are directly affecting your kids or your own finances, courts really do not care about your brother-in-law's gambling issues.  Harping on these things in emails, on facebook, MySpace, etc., makes you look vindictive, and unconcerned about the welfare of your children or about moving on with your life.  Train your self to ignore what is being said about you, you will adjust much better, and do not cast stones in the other direction.  It is a waste of energy that can be put to good, productive use elsewhere.
  3. Count the costs in advance.  Once you've reached the decision to file for divorce or have been served with a divorce summons, you need to be reasonable in assessing the real costs of what is transpiring.  The work an attorney must do is extraordinary.  There are multiple hearings, motions, negotiations, mediation, discovery requests, and more.  There may be multiple experts involved in your case.  None of this is inexpensive, in fact, it is quite expensive.  If you hire an attorney to save money in litigation, you may end up paying in the settlement or elsewhere.  Be realistic, and don't pinch pennies.

There are many other mistakes you can make or avoid in litigation.  It's a crucial time to think clearly, set your pride aside and focus on the very serious task at hand.  For a review of your case, contact attorney Andrew J Thompson at (317) 269-3422. 


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)