Goodbye Cruel HubPages! I Won the Lottery!
For Immediate Release
Goodbye cruel HubPages! Adios to my antagonists, my protagonists and my never-knew-you-existed-ists.
I won the lottery!
It's been fun. Stay in touch. I'll miss you all. Well, most of you. Shortly, probably even before you finish reading this I will me a Yahoo Lottery Millionaire.
Here's the Good News!
You won £500.000.00! Yahoo! Msn! Mail congratulates you!
THE YAHOO LOTTERY INTERNATIONAL. INC
Incorporated in the Cayman Islands, I suspect
YAHOO LOTTERY INTL INC
Barley House Harold Road
It really exists! I looked it up on Google Earth
Sutton, Greater London Sm1 4te
They know me all too well!
YAHOO LOTTERY WINNING NOTIFICATION
We happily announce to you the draw of the Yahoo Lottery Intl Inc programs held on the October 14th 2009 in London. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number: 56474600545 188 with Serial number 5488/01 drew the lucky numbers: 31-6-2613356, which subsequently won you the lottery in the 2nd category. You are therefore, been approved to claim a total sum of SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS (£600,000) for the October 15th 2009 lottery win promotion which is organized by MSN & YAHOO LOTTERY INTL INC .Every month.
YAHOO, collects all the E MAIL I D of the people that subscribes to yahoomail, msn, hotmail, aol, altavista, and others online, among the billions that subscribe to us only five people will be merge for winnings we only select five people every Month as our winners through electronic balloting System without the winner applying, we are congratulating you for having been one of the lucky people that won for this month..
Yahoo collects email addresses? from Hotmail?
PAYMENT OF PRIZE AND CLAIM
you are to contact your Claims Agent on or before your date of Claim, Winners shall be paid in accordance with his/her Settlement Center.
I have a Claims Agent? Cool!
Yahoo Lottery Prize must be claimed no later than 10 days from date of Draw Notification after the Draw date in which Prize has won. Any prize not claimed within this period will be forfeited and retrieved
Uh Oh. I better hurry. They plan to retrieve my fortune.
These are your identification numbers....
Yahoo! Lottery Results:
Batch number.....................Lwh 09202 Lotto number.......................Lwh35547
Those look like real numbers to me. No argument there.
These numbers are your winning identification numbers, that you will send to your claims agent,send identification and details of claim to.
Mr. Patrick . C. Gill
Fax:+ 44870 479 3935
Mr. Gill, you will be hearing from me shortly. Please don't do anything fishy. :)
You are therefore advise to quote the following information to the Clams Agent to facilitate them to process the transfer of your fund without delay.
Serial number 5388/02
Draw lucky numbers: 31-6-2613357
Ticket number: 56475600545 188
Batch number.....................Lwh 09102 Lotto number.......................Lwh35447
Wait a minute! Those number are different than the Yahoo! Lottery results listed above... Oh well, Mr. Partick . C. Gill will clear that up.
Your winning fall in our European Payment Center!
My winning fall? Can it get up?
This promotion takes place every Month .
Every month? I'm surprised it took me this long to win. Something tells me I will also win next month.
Please note that your lucky winning number falls within our European booklet representative office in UK as indicated in your play coupon.
As a child, I loved to play coupons.
In view of this, your SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS (£600,000) would be released to you by any of our payment offices in EUROPE.
No problem. Even though I went to public school, I know where Europe is. I found it on Google Earth.
Our agent zoned for European paying bank will immediately commence the process to facilitate the release of your funds as soon as you contact him.
I will wait to hear from my European Zoned Bank Paying guy.
NOTE: YOU ARE STRONGLY ADVISED TO KEEP ALL YOUR WINNING CONFIDENTIAL TILL
CLAIM IS MADE TO AVOID WRONG CLAIMING.ANY BREACH OF CONFIDENTIAL
DISQUALIFIES YOU FROM GETTING YOUR PRIZE.
Uh Oh. Now I blew it. Please don't tell anybody about this.
Congratulations once more!! Yours Sincerely,
Thank you for being a Yahoo/Msn Member.
Thank you for fingering me!
Online coordinator Yahoo
International Lottery Program. .
A Mrs. named 'Darryn'?
ATTN: ONCE AGAIN WE THE ENTIRE STAFF OF THE YAHOO INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY WE
ARE CONGRATULATING YOU FOR YOUR WINNINGS, SO IN ORDER FOR US TO PROCESS
YOUR WINNINGS, YOU ARE TO FILL AND RETURN THE VERIFICATION AND CLEARANCE
FORM BELOW TO YOUR CLAIMS AGENT THROUGH THIS EMAIL OR FAX BELOW:
It's in capital letters, it must be sincere.
OSA CLAIMS PROCESSING LOTTERY AGENT
Contact Person: Mr. Patrick. C. Gill
Fax:+ 44870 479 3935
CONGRATULATIONS ONCE AGAIN.
Thank you once again, Mr. Gill
VERIFICATION AND CLEARANCE FORM
1. FULL NAMES:__________________________________(BENEFICIARY NAME)
2. RESIDENTIAL ADDRESS:_____________________________________________
4. DATE AND PLACE OF BIRTH::_________________________________
5. MARITAL STATUS:________________________________________
7. E-MAIL ADDRESS:_____________________________
8. TELEPHONE NUMBER:_____________________
9. FAX NUMBER::_____________________
A. BATCH NUMBER:____________________SERIAL NO:__________________
B. TICKET NUMBER:____________________ WINNING NO:________________
10. BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF COMPANY/INDIVIDUAL___________
11. AMOUNT WON:___________________________________
12. COUNTRY OF RESIDENCE:________________________________
13. NEXT OF KIN NAME AND ADDRESS:________________________________
14:DATE NOTIFIED __________________________________
I have to provide the Amount Won? Doesn't Mr Gill already know that?
PLEASE NOTE: You must have to attach a scanned copy of your international
passport, Driver's license. Is mandatory
I must have to attach my international passport. Where'd I put that international passport?
I do declare!
DECLARE THAT THE ABOVE DATA ARE TRUE. IN CASE OF ANY UNFORESEEN
CIRCUMSTANCE, MY NEXT OF KIN HAS THE RIGHT TO CLAIM MY TOTAL WINNINGS.
(OVERSEAS SUBSCRIBERS AGENT) SHALL ACT AS MY AGENT IN FACILITATING THE
TRANSFER OF THE TOTAL FUND TO ME.
YOUR FULL NAMES:
Who wants to by my next of kin?
Upon receipt of the duly requested data, Our agent will proceed for proper
verification and furnish you with the contact information of the payment
Bank in the region where your winning numbers fall within so you can
proceed with effecting the release of your claim in anyway you deem fit.
I deem that this is fit.
The Yahoo.com staff