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How to get rich quicker than the other guy.

Updated on December 9, 2011

Opposable what?

This is Bob. Bob's your uncle (sorry, Aunt - notice the baby...)
This is Bob. Bob's your uncle (sorry, Aunt - notice the baby...) | Source

Whose in charge?

There must have been a time when people worked together for the betterment of the clan. I say it this way because it surely must have been while men were being hunted by dinosaurs that people last had concerns about society as a whole. Oh sure, women's clubs were what men used to pick their mates; they'd just hit the cutest woman over the head with a big old club and drag her home to the cave. Love at first blight!

Maybe there might have been a minor problem with long distance conversations and keeping track of food's best before dates when we were still wearing those fur coats with no buttons, like "Bob" in the picture here, but at least people took care of each other. Well, until someone got hurt (health care), because you didn't want to have the clan slowed down and possibly eaten by Dino (no, not Dino Shore) or attacked by one of the other clans, especially one that hasn't found their opposable thumbs yet. Then, they had about 50 percent of the people controlling about 75 percent of the clan's clubs, rocks, pointy sticks (once they finally passed legislation, we know how slow weapons of mass deflection can take to be passed into law) and, eventually, weaponized gas. That was about a week after they realized that they could eat beans.

Today we have the so-called one-percenters, the number of people that control 99 percent of the world's wealth. That's really not the way it is though, it's actually more like the one-hundredth-of-one-percenter group controlling 99.999 percent of the word's wealth. It must be nice to be rich, you could go to Nice and be nice to nice Nice people. Nice. You could go to Las Vegas and ask the owner to play one hand of blackjack for the whole casino. Warren Buffet, Ted Rogers, Steve Jobs (RIP) and Bill Gates kind of money. These four guys could fund the invasion of Iran and the overthrow of Obama. In one night. Nice. If these four guys got together and formed their own country they could probably take over the world.

When did it start to matter who had the most? Probably right around when they started using pretty coins, polished rocks and children as currency. The golden rule; he who has the gold makes the rules. He who had the most was the boss. Or at least popular at washing time down at the crick.

If only we could go back to when a shiny rock would buy you a nice new cave. Give Iran enough time to build their big bazoomba-bomb and caves might just be more valuable than shiny rocks, pointy sticks and big bags of American hundred dollar bills (unless of course you happen to have some Yen... some Yen, over the rainbow...).

Just who's in charge? (hopefully not Charles!)

Hey, that's mine!

Hey, that's mine. Thief! Thief!
Hey, that's mine. Thief! Thief! | Source

Who's your daddy? Daddy Warbux?

Don't have any, so had to have my dog draw some money, it's been so long since I've seen any...
Don't have any, so had to have my dog draw some money, it's been so long since I've seen any... | Source

Hey, that's mine!

This is where those clubs for women and pointy sticks come in again. If you really want to get rich quick, buy a time machine, marry Bill Gates or sue someone for their shiny baubles. In these times of mass layoffs and computer automation, where one robot can do the job of 20 to 50 people, how can an honest man get rich without robbing a bank or kidnapping the third cousin of the Lindbergh baby? There's nowhere left that a man can just show up and start mining for gold, diamonds and rubies? Mines also beg for hand-outs along the Champs Elysees. Why is it that mines are almost all French? Could this have anything to do with their inherent and genetic ability to surrender at first sight?

It used to be very important to get rich early in life, so that you could get the biggest estate, more slaves and better clout in parliament. Still is, I guess. He who is richest gets to buy the presidency. But who really wants that job anymore? Do you want to be the one known for being in charge while the bombs started falling and mankind becomes a footnote in Darwin's natural progressions? I guess that would be when those 1,000 monkeys, typing on 1,000 typewriters, would write the new constitution.

When did the phrase "Mine's bigger than yours is" start meaning bank accounts? There are literally thousands of websites that offer you "Get rich quick!" opportunities - here's how they work: put an ad on the Internet offering people advice, books and ebooks on "how to get rich quick" and charge them $24.99 (on sale from $129.99. so act fast, this deal expires in 13 minutes and 42 seconds...) each to read your little post.

For people who want to get rich writing, start on that masterpiece book and stop writing articles for $1 each (if you're lucky!). Do you know how long it would take you to write a million articles? Sure, you can submit articles to sites that pay much better, but most of your submissions won't be purchased (but a lot of them will show up online anyways).

So, just how do you get rich quicker than the other guy, without tying him up and leaving him in a cave? You have to either work harder, or have a better paying job. If you have that well-paying job, then you really shouldn't be reading this, you greedy SOB you.

What if someone took everything you owned in their rush to get rich quick? Is it all you can do to say "Hey, that's mine!" Or, can you try to get it back? Is is worth the legal fees, if someone were to steal some of your well written articles to display on their own sites and not give you any monetary compensation? If not, then why bother looking to see if your articles were stolen in the first place, it will only cause you more angst and frustration.

How rich are you? The latest measuring stick.

At work, is your name;

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    • Marc Babineau profile image

      Marc Babineau 6 years ago from Cornwall, Ontario, The Seaway City

      Some may argue and say that family or love defines richness, but they are usually well-off financially! Thanks for dropping by, Nigel!

    • profile image

      Nigel Lewis-Davidson 6 years ago

      Richness is only defined by those who have money, the rest of us are fighting to hard to make ends meet!

    • Marc Babineau profile image

      Marc Babineau 6 years ago from Cornwall, Ontario, The Seaway City

      Thanks! Not every subject that needs to be put out there causes the warm and fuzzies, but as writers aren't we responsible for putting them out there for others to decide? SO, this "Wall of text" - is that having too much text down the body with nothing on the sides? Just learning Hub nuggins...

    • nicregi profile image

      Reginald Chan 6 years ago from Malaysia

      Not bad writing considering that you just joined. Welcome to the club! Anyway, good work and keep it up. Some pointers are remember to use your capsules properly (play with more pictures, etc) and also try reducing the wall of text effect :)

      Good luck!

    • LucidDreams profile image

      LucidDreams 6 years ago from St Petersburg, Florida

      Thanks, really enjoyed the way you presented the case. Kinda fun even though many of the subjects brought up are hurtful to everyday people. We need change but I fear it will happen too late. Such is greed!!!!