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Negotiation -The Art of Working Out a Settlement

Updated on July 27, 2022
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I enjoy writing about personal experiences with my family. I am interested in traveling, any culture, ancestry relationships and animals.

Unproductive Negotiating

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What is Negotiation?

The art of negotiation takes skill, clear goals and sometimes being willing to compromise. Webster’s dictionary definition of negotiating is “to confer with another so as to arrive at the settlement of some matter".

Listening is Important


Negotiation is Part of Everyday Life

Negotiations between couples or between two leaders of a nation are not always handled in a fruitful way. A good way to negotiate is to: “Find out what the needs of the other person are and try to meet them without losing sight of your own goals.” We negotiate many things in life from budgets at home, to purchasing a house or car or negotiating a salary. Farmers have to negotiate on the price for their crops and there are all types of jobs that require some compromise.

Unfortunately, many people think negotiation is being the skill of persuading the other person to accept their point of view.

Some Types of Negotiators

In today’s world someone is thought of as a good negotiator if this person usually gets the best of the deal:

  • Many people use intimidation as a way to prevail.
  • Aggressive negotiators attack or fight.
  • Others try to appease or put forth a sense of cooperation to convert the other party.
  • Some attempt to distract, evade the topic and ultimately frustrate other parties.
  • Then there are those that seek the truth and they might be a bit of an idealist.
  • People of different cultures often use different styles of negotiation as well.

When you are in a negotiation with someone you might look for these traits, as you will know what to expect from that person, and you will ultimately have the advantage to counter their style of negotiation.

How to Negotiate Anything

Possible Responses

As an example; negotiators who attack or fight seek to win and that means victory. They think of it as outmaneuvering or outsmarting the other person.

They may make threats, shout insults, withhold information or skew the facts, and really demand a one-sided game. They aren’t willing to negotiate at all, just do whatever it takes to win. It becomes very apparent when you are dealing with this type of individual, and you probably don’t want to get in a shouting match. Remaining calm or even leaving the area will infuriate this type, but it may be your best move as he will know you are not falling for his tactics.

A person who puts forth a sense of cooperation is probably someone you can negotiate with and come to a resolution. Someone who continually tries to distract you requires you to deal with them more firmly by saying something like, “When you are ready to discuss this problem so that we can reach a compromise, let me know.” If he doesn’t cooperate quickly, leave the room.

Psychological Research in Negotiations

In an article recently published in the Annual Review of Psychology, HBS Professor Kathleen L. Valle HBS Research Fellow Max H. Bazerman and their colleagues synthesized groundbreaking negotiation studies to date and pinpointed five emerging areas of research which they consider critical for the future.

These five areas are:

  • Preconception Count: Almost anyone has an idea of how a negotiation will go before they begin
  • Ethical Behavior: Typically a person sees themselves as more ethical than the other party.
  • Face-to-Face, Phone or Email: Fact-to-face meetings tend to be more productive as they foster rapport and there are fewer misunderstandings and deceit. Email doesn’t have the social aspect and is not the best way to negotiate. For instance, one study found that 24 people were in a decision-making group on the internet and there were 102 instances of rudeness and impulsive behavior. The same study had 24 people face to face in a room and there were only 12 remarks that would be considered rude.
  • Crossing Cultures: Negotiations with people from different cultures can be very difficult. For example, when business leaders negotiate with the Chinese they need to understand that the Chinese consider this fun. The Chinese will generally expect a long, complicated negotiating process, which means both sides have to work hard to learn what the other side really wants. Chinese do not come to the negotiating table with a clear list of objections. To them, this is the challenge. Americans try to take shortcuts to get results, which ultimately give the Chinese the upper hand in doing business. It would seem the Chinese are very patient people.
  • Negotiation with More Than Two Players: When you have more people in the negotiating process it becomes more complicated. Often if they set down some ground rules things will run a little smoother.

How to Negotiate a Salary

7 Simple Steps to Negotiating

Identify the problem with both people using “I” statements to state the problem.

Listen assertively: Each person states an opinion and the other person should restate the opinion as they heard it to avoid misunderstandings. It does not mean you agree with the opinion. An example would be, “When I go out into the garage to work on the car or do yard work I can’t find tools and items I need because of the laundry and other items scattered around”. The other person would say “So you are saying that you can’t find the tools you need to work on the car or do yard work because of laundry and other things lying around the garage. Communication is paramount in negotiation.

Brainstorm: Each person throws out ideas. This is only an information gathering step, not one for judgments. Writing the ideas down can help. Some ideas might be, “Maybe we could clean the garage together on Saturday.” Or, “maybe I could find a place in the house for laundry and bring it in as soon as it’s dried.’ Maybe we should go to Home Depot Saturday morning and buy some shelves to help organize the garage.”

Pick a Solution: When you run out of ideas it is time to decide on a solution. “We will buy shelves Saturday and clean the garage.”

Make a Contract: This means you are clearly stating what you have agreed to, and the contract should be specific and defined in behavioral terms.

Couple Making Up Courtesy

source Flickr
source Flickr

In Conclusion

When two people are willing to follow the simple steps outlined above the art of negotiation is not too difficult. If you are purchasing a car or home know what you want and what you are willing to pay before the negotiations begin.

When negotiating with unreasonable people, it will take patience. It is important to find out the needs of the other person and then try to establish some common ground. It may be that you will both decide on an acceptable compromise Set boundaries as you do not have to accept rudeness or condescending behavior. Don't react, just repeat the boundary you have set in a calm way.

The art of good negotiation does require skill, clear goals and a willingness to compromise if necessary.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.


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