ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Personal Finance»
  • Frugal Living

Razor Coupons

Updated on May 11, 2013

Razor Coupons

No one pays retail prices any more. Back in the day, before paper and bar codes, we had no choice but to fork over full price. Razors, hair care products, skin care products, and styptic pencils were only available at the pharmacy; now this stuff is all over the Internet. Razor coupons can be downloaded for extreme discounts on equally extreme products.

Murad Man Face Defense

Murad provides uber-macho products designed and marketed for the superhero in all of us. Face Defense might not protect you from kryptonite, but it will extend the life of your epidermis. That's a good thing. Stride boldly into direct sunlight with no fear of blemishes, age spots, or girly makeup.

Sure, Coppertone might be cheaper, but can you put a price on masculinity? Jam a tube or two into your fanny pack. Stride the beach with confidence and smooth skin. Laugh at UV warnings on the Weather Channel. Chuckle at unfortunate boyfriends forced to slather themselves with Este Lauder from floral tote bags.


Gillette Fusion Power Razor

Power is a must-have when shaving. Beard hairs posses almost super human strength; they cannot be cut by a single underpowered blade. Only an array of blades sharp enough to trim Amazon undergrowth will tame human facial hair. Shaving is a solitary activity, but self-respecting adult homo sapiens cannot face themselves in the mirror without sufficient power and commensurate coolness. What happens in front of the mirror, stays in front of the mirror.

Brush Technology

You can't slop shaving cream onto your face. It must be gently transferred from a special brush onto stubbly skin. Brushes come in various shapes and sizes, but truly optimal cream application can only be achieved with badger fur. For uncounted millennia, fancy men kept an annoyed badger in the bathroom. Each morning intrepid butlers mixed warm shaving cream, loaded up a hapless badger, and gently applied smooth layers of buttery goodness onto men of high society. Sadly, these badgers were doomed to a life of confinement and eucalyptus.

Thanks to modern technology, badgers now roam free. They have been released from entrapment under the sink. Their sole responsibility is to donate a few tufts of fur to the betterment of male facial scraping.

Smell Like Something

The only thing worse than smelling like a sissy girl is smelling like nothing. Walking the fine line between feminine floral and masculine menthol presents virtually insurmountable challenges for Real Men. We men don't want to stink, but we don't want to remind our Real Men Friends of a stroll through a spring meadow. We live in constant confliction. What scent will attract the gals and let the dudes know we're always up for a little tree trimming, car repair, or road grading?

Axe.

From the packaging to the marketing to the olfactory assaulting, nothing compares to Axe. Axe tells the females you shop at Wal Mart. Axe tells the dudes that you probably have a head cold so severe that you can't smell yourself anymore.

Conclusion

If you have to buy this stuff, look for razor coupons online. Don't pay retail. Walk into Walgreens armed with price cutting bits of paper and present them proudly to the cashier. If you can find one.

Disclaimer

The author is not affiliated with any product or service mentioned above. The author receives no compensation of any kind from any manufacturer, retailer, or wholesaler beyond the advertising that may or may not appear on the page.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Shona Venter profile image

      Shona Venter 7 years ago from South Africa

      Unfortunately in South Africa, we often have no choice but to fork our full price for goods, because manufacturers never supply coupons that we can redeem for anything.

      It's about time the manufacturers realised that there are shoppers in other parts of the world as well, besides the US, and provided coupons for us to use as well :-)

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @drbj: Protesting PETA, I trust.

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      Badgers in the bathroom? Where is the SPCA when we need them?

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)