ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Personal Finance»
  • Investing in Stocks, Bonds, Real Estate, More

The Top PICKUP LINES For Finding Private Money

Updated on January 18, 2011

The Good and The Bad!

With the housing market being on clearance sale and the stock market getting flushed down the drain, more and more people are looking for alternative ways to invest their hard earned dollar to help them catch up where their 401k (now a 101k) and their IRA’s have left them earning negative rates of return.  People are now more open to investing their money into real estate investing but often don’t know the advantages or how to get involved.  Us as investors have a rare and awesome opportunity to cash in where Wall street has failed.  But how do you start the conversation with friends, family, and even people you meet on the street?  You have to start somewhere, so here is the top 10 pickup lines that have worked for me to find money (and amongst other things!).  I’ve also included some “colorful” pickup lines for the more confident!


1.                  Do you know that during downtimes alcoholic beverage stocks do extremely well? How have your investments been doing through all this stuff?


2.                  So… how’s your (WHATEVER THEY ARE EATING) You know a lot of people lately have probably gone from steak and beans to just beans for their retirement dinner?


3.                  That’s a great handbag… Have you ever noticed that the smaller the handbag, the more expensive? With the way things are going in the stock market though, most people don’t really need a lot of room to carry around what’s left of their money. Have you lost any money with all that’s been going on? (They answer and ask you the same thing) Actually, no, I’ve been making really good returns investing in real estate paper…


4.                  Are you going anywhere for (INSERT HOLIDAY HERE. THEY WILL ASK YOU IF YOU ARE). I haven’t decided yet, but this year I’m planning on doing something really special. I’ve been making so much money with real estate investing this year I really want to treat myself…


5.                  Do you notice that most of the financial advisor commercials are no longer playing? 


6.                  Hey, can I buy you a round to celebrate the deal I just closed?


7.                  What do you think about what is going on in the stock market?”


8.                  Where are you from?  How is the housing market where you live?


9.                  (WHILE CNN FINANCIAL IS PLAYING ON TV) Man, I tell you the stock market sure has been crazy lately. My 401k has really been taking a beating. I’m just glad I spread the risk and invested in real estate. At least that seems like it hasn’t been hit by all this stuff.


10.              (WATCHING CNN FINANCIAL) Too bad they’re not bailing out our 401k’s with this bailout! (Got any wooden arrows?)


11.              I need a drink. I just calculated how many more years I have to work before I can retire since the stock market tanked? Fortunately, it’s not as bad as I thought originally. My real estate investments have been paying way above average…


12.              So, what do you do for a living? (THEY TELL YOU AND ASK WHAT YOU DO). I’m gainfully unemployed as a full time real estate investor…


13.              Do you have any kids?  How are their college funds doing with the market tanking?


And as promised, here are some of the more colorful ones for you to use!  Happy Hunting!

1.                  Wow, that purse/suit look really cheap!  You must have gotten killed in the market and had to stop buying and trade your Gucci in for Goodwill.


2.                  Is that a fat wallet in your pocket, or are you just excited to see my assets?


3.                  Are you an Angel Investor cause you look like you just fell from heaven?


4.                  Are you a Venture Capitalist cause I have a Venture for you to Capitalize on? Me!


5.                  My deals are so damn good they’ll always make your money go hard!


6.                  Do you want to get out of here so you can show me your private funding?



7.                  Have you been taking a bath in the stock market?  I’ve been swimming in money, need a sponge bath?


8.                  Yo Baby, you be my Dairy Queen, I'll be your Burger King, you treat me right, and I'll do it your way, right away, all the way.


9.                  If you invest with me you’ll be so rich and famous that McDonald’s will name a new hamburger after you.  You would be McGorgeous and I would be McFilthyRich.


10.              Just call me milk.  I’ll do your bottom line good….


11.              I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that Wall Street beat me to it.



    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.