I think that you have asked a great question. Certainly it is a question that almost every accomplished person has asked prior to achieving their success.
Yet it is not a gender related question, anyone may think that they are lacking some "thing"... But in order to start the process to get what you want, your goal needs to be written on paper as the first step. Then as the second step, reviewed once every day. This is necessary because we become what we think about, and if we are reminding ourselves daily of what we want to become, we will eventually find a way to get there.
But this process becomes a whole lot easier if there is some person or mentor that has already made the same journey previously and is available to help. But ultimately, as long as we can keep an image of what we want or who we want to be, there is always be hope of getting there. However, without that image or goal, there is nothing to work toward in order to become the something that you are referring to.
Anyway, good luck and keep the faith...