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Help! I'm Allergic to Money!

Updated on May 26, 2016
Cute little thing, pretty too . . . so why, after nearly a year, is it only one-seventh full with a petty $8.30?
Cute little thing, pretty too . . . so why, after nearly a year, is it only one-seventh full with a petty $8.30?

On the Psychiatrist's Couch

I'm not sure when it all started, Doctor.

The couch . . . welcome to it!
The couch . . . welcome to it!

Even when I was a little girl, as early as kindergarten and first grade, I remember finding pennies on the sidewalk with a good feeling. Whenever I found one, I'd give it to my best friend to let her know that I liked her. I enjoyed that. It made me feel warm inside.

Somehow, my older brother found out, though. I don't know how he did it--he was in high school, and I was a good half-hour walk down the road at the elementary school. I only remember finding a penny every so often at the elementary school. Was he psychic? Was a buddy's brother squealing on me?

I have no idea.

Anyway, he made fun of me for doing it. "When she finds a penny, she gives it to Kristy," he said with a guffaw, as if I was really stupid or crazy for doing it. The message: I was supposed to keep the pennies for myself. I didn't like his teasing, and I didn't like my feelings for my friend inhibited. I didn't know how to react--I was only six!

No more chocolate milk--oh, no!
No more chocolate milk--oh, no!

Chocolate Milk

I remember that I broke out in a rash in kindergarten. My parents thought it was all the chocolate milk I was drinking at school, so they stopped buying it for me. I had to drink white milk, which was cheaper.

Oh, yeah, the rash went away, but I wonder. Did I feel deprived from no longer being allowed to drink that luxuriously rich, brown chocolate milk? I think fewer kids drank it than those on white. Did I feel I was being reduced to a lower class status?

Oh, boy! My two-cents worth!
Oh, boy! My two-cents worth!

Little Hoboes

Back in those days, my brother and I used to scourge the roadside for empty beer bottles--they were worth a whole 2¢ a bottle! We made it a bit like a competition, you know, to see who could find the most bottles, but we always split the money evenly. It was fun.

Now, though, such upbringing would be considered disgusting--little kids picking up dirty beer bottles for money. The act helped keep the roadsides clean, but didn't we have anything better to do? How about a roadside stand for people to pay for pick-your-own vegetables? My parents never encouraged us to do anything like that--they probably hadn't even thought of it, or maybe they felt we only had enough vegetables for ourselves. Who cared if the canned tomatoes in the pantry were over a year old and had to be tossed? We just did what we were told--children were to be seen and not heard.

~~~ OVERWORKED AND UNDERPAID ~~~

Ice cream and watermelon tasted good, though!
Ice cream and watermelon tasted good, though!

An Allowance

What's that?

Unh, uh--never had one. Payment for working in the hot, summer field was ice cream, a watermelon, or a trip to the lake for a swim.


Consequently, I never heard of a budget, either, until it was too late. I did hear, from time to time, "we can't afford it" or "that's too much money."

Serious Stuff

The real clincher to my dilemma, Doctor, I think is when I heard my parents arguing about "where the money was going to come from." Those confrontations were never pleasant. Such times always gave me a bad feeling, like my mom and dad couldn't afford to keep me, and there was nothing I could do about it.

These heated "discussions" occurred moderately--not daily, but once or twice a week, it seemed. Both my mom and dad had loud voices, too. My dad never said very much, but when he did, you heard and didn't question.


Raised Catholic

The Catholic Church has a paradox. Life is supposed to be modeled after Jesus the Christ, who was born in poverty and never charged for his healing services. Yet, parishioners are supposed to support the organization and missions with money. The law of tithe was never discussed in my catechism classes, so I was in limbo about monetary obligations.

Furthermore, poverty was pictured as a virtue. None of the saints, to the best of my knowledge, except Good King Wenceslas--and even he wouldn't be a saint if it weren't for the poor--were in good financial standing.

Jesus' tale about how difficult it was for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven and his direction to his disciples to leave their careers and follow him also left impressions on me. I began to interpret high, or even just adequate, financial standing as "sin."

Saints are typically depicted as poor financially, Postulates taking Holy Orders are asked to give up their worldly possessions.
Saints are typically depicted as poor financially, Postulates taking Holy Orders are asked to give up their worldly possessions.

Even the Planets Are Against Me

The second house called The House of Finance in my case is governed by Aquarius, an air sign, which is not the best for attracting material wealth. I have a node, but no planets in this house. So, the pull or drive to have or attract money is minimized.

My natal chart shows the House of Finance (2nd section from left horizontal and descending) is governed by Aquarius.
My natal chart shows the House of Finance (2nd section from left horizontal and descending) is governed by Aquarius. | Source

Patterns Repeating

When I look back at my life, the case against having money seems overwhelming.

  • guilt/shame when handling a large purchase on my behalf
  • dislike of automobiles, a necessity for most workers
  • expenses always equal or slightly higher than income, when I do have it
  • observation of people worrying or angry about money
  • often moving in my youth and giving away possessions to move
  • a broken marriage due to money

So, what do you think, Doctor? Is there hope for me?

He looked at me through his spectacles, draped on his ears framing his graying hair and said nothing. ***

Photo Credits

I wish to thank the Capuchin Francisans for the holy card of Saint Anthony. I used my Samsung cell phone camera and Windows Live Photo Gallery to produce the used image.

The piggy bank, couch, and no-chocolate-milk photos are my own work.

The link for Astrolab that I used for my chart is http://alabe.com/freechart/

The remaining generic images were obtained through Google search and edited by me with Windows Live Photo Gallery. I wish to thank beheaded1 (pennies) and shaker-1 (ice cream and watermelon) for their blog images. If I have used any image improperly, please contact me for removal.

© 2014 Marie Flint

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    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      Writing and discussion are great ways of "airing out" old issues. While this hub may seem too personal, there are probably readers in the internet community who can relate to some of my experiences.

      There also wonderful resources for experiencing God's abundance. Louis Hay, Wayne Dyer, and The Radiant Rose Academy are just some of the agents that come to mind.

      "A powerful tool to use," advised a counselor, "is to create the feeling of already having the abundance."

      Blessings to all who read this hub in search of an understanding of their financial blocks. May you overcome them!

    • cecileportilla profile image

      Cecile Portilla 2 years ago from West Orange, New Jersey

      Hi Marie:

      There are numerous people with similar experiences. Many people are also taught to accept and psychologically cope with having less because they have God's abundance. My parents who were both school teachers and not paid well would reinforce education over money advise us repeatedly that "labor for learning before you grow old. . . silver and gold would vanish away but a good education will never decay." I had no idea what an allowance was until I came to America. Catholics are not the only ones who see poverty as a virtue. Other Christians who have insufficient means are taught that their riches are in heaven and that being extravagant is not Christ like. Many people can relate to this hub. Voted up!

    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      Thank you, Cecile, for your insight in the comment. Yes, in India poverty is virtuous. I like your parents saying. My paternal grandmother taught school when she was younger, but there were no other teachers in my family. Thank you so much for the vote.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Excellent and well done.

      e

    • B. Leekley profile image

      Brian Leekley 2 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

      I can sure relate to this hub.

      I read that for the Essenes and for Jesus and his followers, the ideal situation was to be self-supporting and neither rich (having way more than enough) nor poor (having way less than enough). That's why Jesus was a carpenter, Paul was a tentmaker, some had small-scale fishing businesses, etc.

    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      Thank you, Erick and Brian, for the reads and comments.

      "Enough" is a tricky word. Some people seem never to reach that state, no matter how much money they have. And prices keep changing, don't they? The gold standard is out, and speculation has become the norm.

      Blessings to you both!

    • Suzanne Day profile image

      Suzanne Day 2 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

      I enjoyed reading your hub. Don't let the money habits you learned as a child get in the way of actually having a financial future. I used to be a bad saver too, until I met a man who educated me as an adult. Now, I am a great saver! Voted useful.

    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      Thank you, Suzanne, for the read, comment, and vote.

      My habits are pretty good, I think. I just don't have a living income. My elder daughter, with whom I reside, has about five planets in her House of Finance. She reads investment books like some women would read a romance novel. So, I'm learning a few things through her.

      In writing this hub, I realize it is the attitude toward money that makes the difference. Blessings!

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      True, we do not develop healthy attitudes and habits concerning money unless we are taught. That teaching about Jesus living in poverty is the only discussion some of us have had on the topic, but it is never too late to learn the truth. I commend you for this presentation.

    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      Ms. Dora,

      Thank you so much for the read and comment.

      Jesus had the power of alchemy, didn't he? I think when one is so filled with the Divine to the point that one is fully in the Father's mantle and centered, there is no question of supply because it's known, a given.

      Sometimes I get a little frustrated with myself. I little desire will come to mind, and I realize that I don't immediately have what society around me wants--money--to help me fulfill my goal. So, generally, I put my wants on the back burner, so to speak.

      Ultimately, I know that God is abundance--it's all around me. I tell myself that help is coming my way.

      In looking back, though, I clearly see why I am where I am in life. Truly, we are not to gauge ourselves by others' expectations; yet, there is the tendency to do so.

      My favorite affirmation comes from Jesus' I AM affirmations: I AM abundant supply poured out upon all life.

      As my grandmother used to say, "Money isn't everything." (True, but it's nice to have when the need or reasonable want arises.) ***

    • WriterJanis profile image

      Janis 2 years ago from California

      It sounds like you have had too many bad experiences when it comes to money.

    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      Patterns repeat themselves, Janis. So, to change them one first has to be aware of them. Just last night I dreamt that a former in-law gave me $500. I was grateful and felt nourished. (Feeling nourished is a good thing, a step in the right direction.) Thank you for reading and blessings!

    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      I misinterpreted the House of Finance, which is the 2nd (not the 4th) house. It's not much better, though, because it's governed by Aquarius, an air sign (intellectual, not prone to collecting possessions, including the possession of money in my case). I have a node in this house, but no planets. I have corrected my hub article.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Interesting hub Marie. I think money has too much control on our lives. I am content if I have enough to cover the bills, and enable us to put food on the table and fuel in the car. Anything extra is a bonus. We used to live in a community that embraced a "LETS" system, where you exchange goods and services with one another to earn points and no money was exchanged. A great system, check Wikipedia. Anyway well written and voted up.

    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      I love bartering, Jodah. "This for that." That's how the pioneers did it. Our country never should have quit the gold system. Thank you for the read, comment, vote, and tip about "LETS." I'll try to check and learn more about it. Another great affirmation: I AM the fulfillment of all my needs and requirements of the hour. Blessings!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Too personal? I've made my bones on HP by being personal. :) Bring it on, Marie!

      Interesting look at money. I've had it from time to time...and I was homeless once...today I'm happy just paying for necessities and not worrying about any excess. :)

    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      Believe it or not, Bill, I've experienced homelessness, too, at a Christian shelter in Santa Maria, California. I observed the pastor and his wife screening the potential tenants: no alcoholics, no drug addicts, and women with children had priority (I had two minor daughters at the time). Tenants had to leave after breakfast; I had chores to do; shower time was organized; and each had to give an account of what he or she had done that day to improve his or her situation. I was grateful for the experience and procured a one-bedroom apartment shortly after my stay. The elder daughter joined the U.S. Army a month after we got the apartment. Five months after that (on welfare at this point), I drove back to Michigan (some 1500 miles with my 9-year-old) to provide companionship for my widowed mother.

      I guess you just do what you have to do.

      Thank you for the read and comment.

    • Torrs13 profile image

      Tori Canonge 2 years ago from California

      I enjoyed reading your hub! I didn't really get an allowance growing up either and I found that I had to learn how to budget and everything on my own. There were plenty of missteps and mistakes along the way, but I've learned from them and have taught myself how to manage my finances better. It's amazing how money is so greatly needed but it is responsible for so many broken relationships and negative conversations.

    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      Amazing, isn't it, Torrs, that so much emphasis on money is placed in our country, but our public school systems do such a good job of avoiding the teaching of personal finance. Consequently, unethical policies abound in our economic system. Thank you for the read and comment. May you feel God's abundance around you always!

      P.S. For those interested in learning more about affirmations, there is a small edit on Ms. Hay's name. It's Louise Hay. For some reason, the "e" didn't take when I posted the comment the first time. I apologize for any confusion.

    • IndependentMind profile image

      IndependentMind 2 years ago

      Great writing. I clicked the up button and all the others since this hub embraces them all.

      It reminded me of my own youth growing up in the late 40's & 50's. Life seemed so simple back then.

      When we grow up and are taught that poor is better in the eyes of religion and society, we quickly learn later on in life that those statements were only meant to somehow make poverty more palatable. And the concept that 'rewards' after death would somehow make our miseries in life actually acceptable stay with us throughout our life times as an emotional crutch that keeps us from falling into total despair.

      I do believe that not everyone is meant to live in luxury. There are far more, better and deeper, lessons to learn from life by working to support one's self, helping others along the way, living within one's means, and enjoying all the beauties of mother nature around us.

      Obsessing over money can only lead to physical (and/or emotional) illness. (at least that is what i tell myself to justify being broke all the time) L.O.L.

    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      Wow, Independent, I've never received an "Up" and votes across the board before your visit! Thank you so much. I do appreciate the feedback.

      I can't remember which Eastern Indian philosopher (perhaps Gandhi) said, "The Earth can satisfy everyone's need, but not everyone's greed." Luxury is unnecessary. Cleanliness, a well-ordered home, and beautiful color harmony do much to maintain happiness.

      Did anyone ever stop to think that a "raise" ultimately results in a higher cost of living if everyone gets one? The law of supply and demand has its repercussion. So, the little human ego swells with puffed-up pride in thinking the individual is "getting ahead," but really is only fooling itself into a sense of security that external things can never really provide.

      Cecily M. Barker also wrote a beautiful little poem called Song of the Shepherd's Purse Fairy. In part, the poem goes, "You cannot grow a pound/from a farthing in the ground--/money may become a curse;/give me, then, my Shepherd's Purse!" I always liked that poem. The concept of money bearing interest was a foreign idea to me, as money is inanimate; whereas, living things bear fruit or offspring. (Guess who doesn't have any financial investments.)

      So, again, thank you for the read, votes, and insightful comment. Blessings!

    • LADiNardi profile image

      L.A. DiNardi 2 years ago from New Hampshire

      I love the way you approached this subject, and your sense of humor! Refreshing and fun. Great read.

    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      Thank you, LA.

      Yes, I have to laugh at myself at times. I know when money is truly needed, somehow a solution always comes along and not always the way you expected.

      I remind myself daily that God has given me everything and that I am an "infinitudinaire." (Let the millionaires and billionaires try to top that one!)

      Blessings!

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 2 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      i am allergic to money too and so does my boy, he would pretend to be sick just to get McD that cost more than homemade food

    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      Pretending to be sick just to get a McDonald hamburger? Now that's a habit that's calling for change. Ironically, when one is sick, food restrictions are recommended, and that would prohibit a trip to McDonald's! Let me know when you write about your approach to changing your son's MO, I'd love to read about it.

      Thank you for reading and commenting.

    • Aneegma profile image

      Merida Craze 2 years ago

      I believe money on it's own is neither good nor bad but the person that handles it is what makes some people allergic to it and some others best friends with it. I think Jesus chose to look poor (he isn't poor, he just played the part) so that we as humans shouldn't depend on money to live. He lived like for 33 odd years and not a day did he need a cent. Sadly we have been put in a corner these days that demands that if you want anything you need money. I truly believe we don't need money but people are too lazy to control their desires and their wants and so money becomes the prime focus of life, hence why we've all gone mad LOL.

      Brilliant hub, enjoyed reading it and gave me something to think about.

    • Marie Flint profile image
      Author

      Marie Flint 2 years ago from Jacksonville, Florida USA

      When you realize you have 100% access to the universe, you realize that money is just one expression of energy.

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