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Mike's Common Sense
An oldie but goodie originally published Nov. 2008 in an alternate universe.
This comes as no big surprise to many people but George W. Bush is a lame duck President. This is no surprise, because over 70% of Americans feel he was a pretty lame President. Personally, I never thought I would ever see a President as bad as Jimmy Carter, but, after living through eight long years with Bush at the helm of our nation, the Carter years seem like a Hawaiian vacation...At a five star hotel, with your own personal hula girls, unlimited mai tais, a personal yacht with scuba gear, and all the roasted pig and poi you can eat. God, I long for those good old days!
With only two months left in office, President Bush has decided to take action...putting his memoirs together.
Seems ole George remembers the huge payday Bill Clinton received for publishing his uncensored biography, and now he wants to cash in. However there's a problem, with the exception of billionaires, and religious zealots, George is universally detested; he can't find a publisher willing to give him the big money that Bill, or, Hillary got. Hell, he can't tell us about getting illicit blow jobs in the Oval Office; or how he inserted cigars into certain orifices of White House pages. Besides being dumber than a box of cotton balls, he is just as dull. So, while George is trying to secure a publisher, I thought I would help him with a title for his book.
1) The Fleecing Of America
2) I Was Only Kidding About WMDs
3) My Eight Years Of Being A F-Stick
4) What, Me Worry?
5) Not All Oil Barons are Assholes
6) The Constitution Is For Sissies
7) Read My Lips
8) How To Turn A Super Power Into A Laughing Stock
9) It Was Good For Me, How About You?
10) Be Glad It Was Me, and Not Chaney