Is There a $1 Trillion Dollar Coin
Zimbabwe's Trillion Dollar Banknote
What would you do with a $1 Trillion Coin?
A trillion dollar coin I hear you ask, and rightfully you would be correct in challenging my sanity if I said I had a trillion dollar coin in my back pocket and I could buy you anything your heart desired.
Yet currently in the USA, politicians and commentators have been arguing over the legitimacy of minting a trillion dollar coin so that the government can borrow money against the value of the coin, thus enabling the current debt ceiling to remain in place. Because it's not really debt as you are borrowing the money against an asset, which in this case is, yep you guessed it, a trillion dollar coin!
This scenario got me wondering just what I would do if whilst the army was taking the coin to the Federal Reserve, it 'accidently' fell out of someone's pocket and I happened to pick it up.Oh and if finding a trillion dollar coin on the side of the road sounds ridiculous, then the idea that a coin worth a trillion dollars could possibly come into existence should also elicit great scepticism, yet here we are in 2013 and very serious and learned people are discussing that possibility.
These Guys Made an Early Version of the Coin
Isn't minting a $1 Trillion Coin illegal?
Actually no! In 1996 an act was passed that gave explicit details for all legal tender issued in the USA, in the 1996 act there was a section that spoke of the Secretary of the Treasuries ability to 'issue platinum bullion coins and proof platinum coins in accordance with such specifications, designs, varieties, quantities, denominations, and inscriptions as the Secretary, in the Secretary's discretion, may prescribe from time to time.'
So now we have got past the legalities and assuming that with a trillion dollars in my pocket I could afford enough lawyers to defend the 'finders keepers, losers weepers' law of possession, what would I do?
Build a Death Star
And control the Universe
After an initial quote of $US15,602,022,489,829,821,422,840,226.94 I have discovered that a second quote has come in at $US852,000,000,000,000,000 (oh and if you think I am making these numbers up then look here How much for that Death Star?) so it would appear that my childhood dream of taking over the universe will remain unfulfilled even with a trillion dollars.I guess I will just have to content myself with a full sized Darth Vader suit, hiring James Earl Jones for a month and buying my own island.
My Own Personal Death Star
Buying a New "Home"
Buying Lanai, Hawaii's sixth largest island
Building paradise and making enemies
For a lazy $500 million the sixth largest island in Hawaii can be yours (Buying my piece of Hawaii) and whilst I may be a little late in picking it up, I'm sure with my new found wealth, dressed like Darth Vader and with James Earl Jones as my voice-over I think I could make the current owner an offer that he may not be able to refuse.
Either that or I could follow him around all day claiming to be his father!Though with this kind of behaviour I am going to need even more lawyers than WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange, so I had better buy a building to house them all in.
My New Headquarters
The Empire State Building
My own private fortress
This one would be quite easy as The Empire State Building has changed hands on several occasions and I think for the quite reasonable price of around a billion (My own Private Fortress, Now Affordable!) or so dollars I could get sole use of the building to ensure that my lawyers and I could firmly keep the world out and hatch our next evil plan.
As you can see by this point I guess I have now become a self proclaimed evil genius. I guess that is due to the books I read when I was poor.Here's a selection of a few. What do you think?
Where my great ideas were born - From a small seed do great Oaks grow!
Where it all began. You need to be prepared if a coin rolls your way.
Don't have $1 Trillion - Then build your own Empire State Building
Evil, Rich Geniuses Need Escape Plans
An Escape Plan
A Boat is Required
Governments are quite mean when you p**s them off (think taking a trillion dollar coin off them) and rather than end up being water boarded in a secret location until I reveal the location of my $1 trillion coin, I think I had better invest in a large boat.
This seemed to work quite well for science fiction writer and founder of that wacky Church of Scientology so favoured by Hollywood stars, L.Ron Hubbard and since I am officially the richest man on earth who owns the Empire State Building and a 100 odd square miles of Hawaii I'm not being over awed by this boat ( $4.5 Billion, what was he thinking?) which cost the owner around $4.5 billion and has 100,000kg of gold and platinum on it.
What do the say about all show and no go? My boat will be more like the QE2 with a missile defence system and at least 101,000kgs of gold and platinum. Why? Because with great wealth and power comes great lunacy.Just look at history people!
A Weekend Getaway?
Pay off the National Debt of Australia
In a moment of true altruism to the country I was born in, I considered paying off the entire national debt and letting my fellow Aussies start from scratch.
That was until I went here(How much does the average Aussie owe?) and discovered the nose bleeding speed that my fellow antipodeans are racking up debt.So as a token I am paying off my own person piece which stands at just over $19,000. And they should think themselves lucky to get that!
A Burning Question!
Should the US mint a $1 Trillion Dollar Coin?
Buy the Arsenal Football Club
With a father who was born a cockney and lived his early life in North London I never really had a choice in which football (soccer) team I followed. It was, and still is, Arsenal FC till I die. So with my trillion dollars still fairly untouched by my plunge into megalomania, I would cough up the required $1.3 billion and make them my primary source of amusement.I would then go and do what the owners of Chelsea and Barcelona do and start buying the best players in the world.
Lionel Messi would be speaking with a North London accent in no time. Oh and to keep in theme with my plunge into self indulgence, I would play the last minute of just enough games to ensure I got a medal at the end of the season.Seriously, how does Chelsea's owner, Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich, resist the urge to put on a shirt and run on to the field for a few minutes a couple of times a year?
We know he wants to! Keep your eyes peeled for the short, stout fellow in a red Arsenal shirt coming on with 2 minutes to play if that trillion dollars ever comes my way.Who are ya, Who are ya? - An Arsenal chant
Until I Own the Team
Another Fantasy Figure
Ok, so I know the above list is self indulgent, I know that I am never going to get my hands on that trillion dollar coin (I mean who would be able to give you change for a candy bar?) and yes I would also travel the world in my battleship building hospitals and bringing food to those who needed it the most, but between those philanthropic moments I definitely would do all the above.
And if you think this is a ridiculous flight of fantasy, then what do you think of the quite serious idea that the USA should mint up to two $1 trillion dollar coins to circumvent the debt ceiling and commence borrowing again, all made legal by an amendment that was solely for the issue of platinum collectors coins?
Whose fantasy is more dangerous?
I would also have to buy at least a 1,000 of these and attach them to the hull of my boat. Imagine the sight of 1,000 Jesus bobble-heads bouncing in unison as you made your escape from US Internal Revenue Officers.