10 Reasons Why Getting Drunk is Cool
Watch out! You are spilling that beer
You were arrested simply because you forgot your name
You've heard all of
the statistics, facts, and evidence against abusive-drinking, drinking while driving, and how doing these two things frequently will lead to you being a problem-drinker.
Well, what do they know, you say so cool that I swear, icicles formed on your chin when you spoke.
You are not buying-into the anti-drinking campaigns, especially the one with annoying organizations like M.A.D.D. and S.A.D.D. You have better things to do than listen to what these concerned people have to say.
You are over 21, an adult, and a free American. You will do what you please and when you please, and if that includes getting drunk every chance you get--at parties with others who think like you, so be it.
Your other seasoned-thinking is, "We all gotta go sometime--might as well go happy." And to back-up your pro-alcohol-abuse stance, you were good enough to give "me"
"10 Reasons Why Getting Drunk is Cool"
This girl is a "wet blanket" for missing all of the "drinking-fun"
The pretty girl yelling at these guys was once a sober, uptight, inhibited person
Reason number 10: you get to meet new friends while serving a jail-sentence for D.W.I. That means, "Driving While Intoxicated." All you did was drink a case of beer and try to drag race in the middle of town. Just some boyish fun. But most of the people you meet tonight in jail are there for the same charge, D.W.I. Just think. Unless you had overdone the drinking, you would not have met these other cool problem-drinkers who are jobless, almost-homeless, and divorced.
Reason number 9: you will get your photo taken for free by your friendly police department. Aren't these people friendly? They ask you all about your address, name, age and even tell you (in-detail) why you are being held overnight for endangering innocent people with your boozing.
Reason number 8: girls will be clawing your clothes off wanting you to party with them and that means free booze. Lots of whiskey, vodka, and other spirits that if abused, can knock you straight on your butt. But the girls are all forgiving. They too have been knocked straight on their butts by alcohol-abuse, but hey, you got to meet some new girls.
Reason number 7: for once in your hum-drum life, you will get to meet your district attorney, public defender, judge and arresting officer (who hauled you in off the streets) on a first-name basis. Now this wouldn't be possible unless you were a problem-drinker and a chronic alcohol-abusing type of cool man whom every young person respects.
Now you are as "cool" as this guy
This woman won a bet that she could consume three pitchers of beer
Celebrity, Kate Flannery, "Meredith," on The Office, whose character loved booze, is shown drinking at the Kentucky Derby
Star Jones, formerly of The View, enjoys drinking while attending The Kentucky Derby
There are 10,000 people arrested each year either for D.U.I or D.W.I in our country.
Most alcoholics today started drinking as an adolescent or teenager. Some alcoholics admit taking their first drink of alcohol as early as in the sixth-grade.
These are not things "I" want to see nor remember, but facts are facts. And I have personally lost three precious people in my life all due to drinking while driving.
I am not preaching to you. I am just sharing a sad part of my life. Before you turn that beer or liquor up to your lips, think:
Is this the pathway for me?
Will this choice I am making, going to make me healthier, happier or more-respectable?
If "No," was your answer to one or both of these questions, just leave the drink alone.
Reason number 6: you will solely be responsible for helping to keep the bars in your town in business. Everyone knows how bad the economy is these days, so keep your head-up although you have a lengthy arrest record for alcohol-related crimes. You are doing the bar owners a favor by spending your money in their establishments.
Reason number 5: local ministers will have more to do thanks to you, who was once in their congregations, now are constantly being arrested for being drunk in public, destruction of private property, driving without license, fighting with innocent people, resisting arrest and other things that alcohol led you to do. These ministers love to visit people like you who are behind bars. It makes them feel needed.
Reason number 4: your name is now a household word in your hometown. You are a hero to some pre-teens who idolize you for drinking so much and representing a "rebellious" generation. And what "rebel" is a true rebel without his or her excessive-drinking?
Reason number 3: you figure that most-celebrities drink in and out of the public eye, so why shouldn't you? Well, to honestly answer that, my messed-up friend. Celebrities have people around them called "handlers," who watch them drink and make sure they get home safely if they overdo. You do not have this luxury. And this is a shame isn't it?
Reason number 2: when you were a little boy, you saw your parents drink before and after dinner and when you asked for some, you were told, "You are not an adult." So now that you are of legal age, you can drink "until your hearts content," despite losing one job after the other and losing girlfriends and self-respect all due to your "getting wasted," is of no consequence to you. You are having a ball to hear you tell it. That is when your speech is not slurred.
Reason number 1: you cannot help it. You watched a lot of television when you were a tyke. You saw a lot of good-looking people with drinks in their hands having a great time. They all had great lives, so apparently "these" people, to you, knew how to live. Then in high school, you and a few pals would sneak around and sip a few beers and man, did you feel all grown-up. You even felt tough-enough to push the nerds around for a laugh.
Just look at what abusing alcohol has done for you. Not many people understand your addiction to this "liquid confidence," that makes you feel so good.
Well, now that I have finished "your" story, my drunken buddy, I can tell you this:
"An abusive-addiction like yours has all but taken your life. In fact
There are NO cool reasons for you or anyone to get drunk.
is being published on the night of May 24, 2014, pre-Memorial Day. I ask you to "please," at least consider NOT being so stupid and careless as to try to drive while drinking.
That is not too much to ask.