ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

10 Stupid Things Done by Stupid Burglars

Updated on November 21, 2014
A number called: breaking and entering
A number called: breaking and entering
Failed burglar, Arthur Bell
Failed burglar, Arthur Bell

There's someone for every job

If we look around looking through honest eyes, we should all admit that in each area of life, there is someone always doing something and doing it very well. Bad or good, legal or illegal, they are “on the job” from sun-up until sundown. That is worth a few moments to relax and just take a long, deep breath to appreciate how simple and yet complex God created things the way they were created.

In summation, we could not eat, sleep, drive, read, sing, dance, date, marry, name it and someone either makes it, does it, and sadly, someone out there steals it. No, I am not condoning thievery or burglary. I am just stating that there are slick and successful burglars who are never suspected, questioned, or caught. They are just that good. And we as a law abiding society can like it or not like it, but this is a true fact.

Burglars caught on security tape
Burglars caught on security tape
Bad disguise
Bad disguise
Vintage burglary graphic
Vintage burglary graphic

Burglars have their place in life
In summation, we could not eat, sleep, drive, read, sing, dance, date, marry, name it and someone either makes it, does it, and sadly, someone out there steals it. No, I am not condoning thievery or burglary. I am just stating that there are slick and successful burglars who are never suspected, questioned, or caught. They are just that good. And we as a law abiding society can like it or not like it, but this is a true fact.

Now on the “flip side” of the coin, there are those burglar wannabe’s, or “nickel and dimers,” as I have heard police officers call them, who would give their next year’s worth of loot to be so good at their “job,” that they could “hit” a series of lavish homes owned by lavish billionaires, clean them out, and rest-easy for years to come in some quiet, peaceful island off the coast of Spain undisturbed and worry-free.

Thieves and burglars can dream too. And if most of these “Burglar Flops,” now in prison, had read the information below, they would now have a nice tan and speaking Spanish.

10 Stupid Mistakes

That Are Made by

Stupid Burglars

Old-time hood
Old-time hood
Vintage burglars
Vintage burglars
Tag-team safe-crackers
Tag-team safe-crackers
  1. Set-up road flares that tell other people that there is “danger ahead.”
  2. Take off their plastic gloves to ring the doorbell to see if there is anyone home.
  3. Puts a bull-horn to his lips and bellows, “Hey, you in this neighborhood! I am going to be burglarizing this house for the next half-hour, so don’t anyone make any trouble for me.”
  4. Instructs his accomplice to take a DVD movie of him in action so he can have proof of this huge theft to prove how good of a thief he is to his burglary buddies.
  5. A half-hour into the job, the senior burglar feels it’s time for a break, so he nabs a cold beer from the homeowner’s refrigerator, sits on their front porch and drinks it while people drive or walk by.
  6. Yells out of a top floor window, “Hey, Darryl! Wake up and catch this heavy box of jewelry!”
  7. Before he starts robbing the house, he, dressed in his black wardrobe including mask, stops at a house nearby and asks the homeowner when he answers the door where the address is that he is going to rob.
  8. The stupid burglar and his stupid partner, thinking they did so good at not getting caught, break-out, or rather into, the homeowner’s wine closet and get stinking drunk then passing out so the cops can have an easy job of taking them to jail.
  9. The non-thinking burglar orders take-out to be sent to the home he and his partner is robbing.
  10. Before the two burglars take-off with the loot, the senior burglar stops at a nearby home and tells the homeowner to tell the police if they arrive, that they, the burglars were not there that night.

Personally, I hope that all burglar wannabe’s keep making these stupid mistakes.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Steelengineer,

      Thank you for the funny stories you sent me. The one with the one burglar rounding the corner hitting the glass with the rock and knocking himself out too. Now that is material for a sitcom if I have ever seen it.

      I am serious.

      Please have a Merry CHRISTMAS. And please keep in touch.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      vkwok,

      Thank you, dear friend, for your nice words. I appreciate you taking time to read and comment.

      I love you very much.

      Have a Merry CHRISTmas.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Kiss and Tales,

      Thank you, DEAR Friend, for your sweet comment. I love and appreciate you very much and your two antecdotes were hilarious. Especially the one about the thugs robbing the police party.

      Loved them.

      Please keep in touch with me and Merry CHRISTmas.

    • vkwok profile image

      Victor W. Kwok 

      3 years ago from Hawaii

      Reading this hub was a nice way to spend my morning.

    • Kiss andTales profile image

      Kiss andTales 

      3 years ago

      Funny SE !

    • Steel Engineer profile image

      Steel Engineer 

      3 years ago from Kiev, Ukraine

      There is a video of two men attempting to break a window with a rock. The first throws it, it rebounds, strikes him in the head, and knocks him out. Second man rounds the corner, sees first robber unconscious. Picks up rock, and repeats the same event, leaving both unconscious.

    • Kiss andTales profile image

      Kiss andTales 

      3 years ago

      This is the most unique hub you have created ! It shows your since of humor even when this is still a serious subject.

      I have two to add ! I hope you don't mind.

      Two Robbers who rob a bar while policeman were having a private party.

      You know they did not make it out the door.

      That actually happened in IL.

      Another one was some young guys trying to rob some seniors in their gambling spot. What happened they forgot that those old guys was young guys before. They had a flash back and it did not turn out too good for the young robbers.

      This happened in Indiana this year.

      I am sure there is a lot more experiences !

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)