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10 Things a Loser Hates to Hear

Updated on March 22, 2012

Arrogance Has No Place In My World

I don’t know where the idea of competition came from. I guess competition has its roots back to the Book of Genesis where we find Adam and Eve’s two sons, Cain and Able working at their appointed jobs. Now comes time for the two boys to present sacrifices to God. Able, the most-humble of the two sons, brings a live sacrifice, possibly a lamb out of his flocks. Cain probably brings a basket of produce, fruit and something that (he thought) would appease God.

You know the story. God accepts Able’s sacrifice and rejects Cain’s sacrifice--making Cain very angry and yes, jealous of his brother, Able. Then we see the two young men out in the field doing more work. I can only read into this scene that Able is still excited about God accepting his sacrifice and Cain takes it that Able is gloating, so he acts on his anger and jealousy and slays him right then and there.

God instantly knows of Able’s death and inquires about it to Cain who snaps in response, “What am I, my brother’s keeper?” And the story concludes with God sending Cain from out of His presence and from Adam and Eve with Cain being the first vagabond in Biblical history. All because of a lax in judgment and letting his anger and jealousy get the best of him thus taking his brother’s life.

This is not the solitary place that you can find competition in The Bible. There are many more places that show man’s need to outdo his neighbors in some arena of life--jobs, sports, looks, lawn care, choice of car, home, wife, golf and the list is endless. Competition is part of the grand picture of life. Even in the animal kingdom. The strongest animal survives and collects the rewards such as a lovely female mate to produce his seed for further generations.

I said all of this about competition to say this. When we hear the word competition, which by the way is both a noun and verb, we automatically think of teams playing each other in sports such as football, baseball and hockey. And we think of players versus players like in the game of golf. We cheer loudly for our favorite team for some reason (e.g. alumni cheer for their college teams) and we cheer for our favorite single player in the game of golf, billiards, and skeet shooting.

Here’s a fact that might astound you: Did you know that the worst people to be near are winners who are arrogant? And people who are arrogant too. Arrogant winners and people, for my money, give their chosen game a bad name and a shabby image. And sensible people with fair-minded thinking are not impressed with a quarterback who made seventeen touchdowns in a single game all by himself. We are less impressed with his toothy-grin with dental-engineered white teeth that makes his wide-with-self-pride smile make him look even more obnoxious. I know a few pro athletes like this, but I won’t disgrace my story by naming them.

What good is it to be an arrogant athlete who wins most of his games? What does it do for a person who is not a pro athlete to be arrogant and self-important? Is there a need in arrogant winners to actually live lives of solitude--with no real friends to speak of? I have even heard, years ago, a Pop Music singer turned Country Singer being interviewed by the late Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show and when Carson made this statement, “Well, (NAME OF SINGER), looks like you have really made it big in the record business.” The singer leaned back, popped on that self-prideful gloating smile and said to my amazement, “Yeah, John. I have made it big and I love it when I go to concerts and have people clamor for my autograph. You bet. I am pretty big.” Carson looked very shocked at this pompous singer’s response and quickly went on with his interview allowing “Mr. Importance” to leave. Thank God. That one remark completely turned me off of this singer’s music. For life.

One more example of arrogance in sports before we move on. I have heard a certain quarterback in the NFL, when interviewed by ESPN or some local sportscaster why his team tasted so much success in the game they had just won and the quarterback, following the same pathway as the pompous singer I told you about, wiped his sweaty forehead, grinned that $50,000 smile that some dentist built, and said something similar to this: “Well, now, Jim, I found it easy to make valuable yardage early in the game. I was hard to bring down and I thought that I would see just how much I could do by myself in the game.” “Jim” the sportscaster, wanting to be fair asks, “And how about your team? They played a great game!” The prideful athlete grins big and replies, “Oh, they were okay.” And runs off to shower.

I for one hate arrogance in any form in any area of life. I am not a tolerant person when it comes to racism, bigotry, arrogance, self-importance, or any tool that makes one person or persons feel elevated above the rest of us. I offer no apologies for my feelings.

That’s why I am sharing with you, the people who agree with my distaste for arrogance, a list of 10 Things One Should Never Say To Or Do To A Loser:

1. Great game, bud - yeah, for you, the winner. Losers in games do not need your encouragement. At all. In the least. Shake hands if you can muster that little amount of true compassion and sportsmanship and move along to your groupies, autograph hounds and Rolls Royce cars.

2. Maybe you will win next year - what? Are you a psychic? You don’t know if we will have a next day, much less next year! Do not insult a losing team member by saying such dribble as this. And besides, you, the important, arrogant winner, really don’t mean it anyway.

3. Don’t feel so bad, you are still a great team - here you go again. Giving out false reinforcement. Actually, arrogant winner, you, deep down inside, do not want your rival team to be any better than they are now. Otherwise you might have to face something that all of us normal people live with all of the time: LOSING. Just say a few words that you DO mean and please, do not ask the losing team member if he or she wants a photo snapped with YOU.

4. Tell the wife and kids hello - You are kidding! How dare you have a losing player do your bidding for you just because you won a silly game. You are arrogant enough without making a less player than you work for you. I would say to you if you said this ridiculous statement to me, “Shove it, buddy,” now please get lost.

5. Want to get some drinks later - now this is really stooping lower than a snake’s belly in a wagon rut. Drinks? With an arrogant winner who only asks this losing team member to accompany him to his favorite bar so he can gloat some more with his fans in the bar and never introduce the losing team member to anyone. You see, arrogance is like a deadly disease. It eats up a person’s humility and humble disposition. I know it and you know it. “Mr. Arrogance,” leave the suffering loser alone and mind your own book signings.

6. (TO ALL SPORTS REPORTERS): you ALL ask THIS ONE stupid question to all losing coaches, teams and players who will allow it. “Uh, coach Smith. Your team got beat by a score of 67 to 3 giving you THE biggest loss in school history and costing you a birth in the play-offs. How do you feel right now, coach?” Are -- you -- kidding -- me? Do you know just how stupid and out of place this one question sounds? And you continually ask this of all losing teams and coaches year around. Why? And how is the losing coach and team supposed to feel, good? Ready to party? I do wish just once that one losing coach will reply to some unthinking sports reporter, “Uh, Jim, that is your legal name, right? I feel lousy right now. You do know what lousy means, Jim? I hate this town, the shady way the ref’s called the game--and even worse, I hate what YOU JUST asked me. How stupid can a sports reporter be? How would you feel, Jim if you went home tonight and your wife of ten years has left you for some childhood rival? Huh, Jim?” Case closed.

7. Nice going out there - well, “Arrogant Winner,” if the losing team did to some nice going, then they would have won. This is just something that arrogant winners are programmed to say to waste time. And maybe get quoted by some nationally-syndicated sports publication on how ‘humble’ the winning quarterback was toward the losing team. Who needs your false compassion anyway?

8. And the proverbial hug or embrace after the game - forget this. It’s only for show by the arrogant winning team. Let’s be real honest. The arrogant team members’ minds are all on the huge, expensive party they are going to have at the Hyatt-Regency in a few hours, not on consoling a team who actually played their hearts out.

9. The index finger pointing to the losing team - I cannot put into words just how humiliating this gesture really is. It’s comparable to the arrogant winning team marking the losing team for future beatings. I cannot stand this. Former Auburn coach, Tommy Tuberville had an arrogant hand gesture going when his team would beat the rival team, Alabama. It was up to six times, thus Tommy held up five fingers and one finger from his other hand. On the date when the seventh game was played, Tuberville strolled into the stadium holding up seven fingers, but sadly, the Auburn Tigers LOST that game making Tommy look nothing short of embarrassed. Awww.

10. Calling out and complimenting the losing team members in your arrogant winning press conference - why? Why would you do this? For what concrete reason would you further humiliate the losing team? You have beaten the life out of them, so let it go. And I tell you that your meager, empty compliments such as, “Oh, the losing team played like champions, and “The losing team played us harder than any team,” do NOT help the self-esteem of the morale of the losing team. At all. Na da. Save your sweet-smelling breath, “Arrogant Winners,” we losing team members can do pretty well without your insincere remarks.

Now that I have presented what I think is a complete presentation about arrogance and what NOT to say or do to someone who has lost a competition or on a team that has lost a game, I sincerely ask you, “Just what place is there in modern sporting events, the workplace, home, neighborhood, school and even church for arrogance?”

Can you tell with a certain degree of accuracy what good does being arrogant, really arrogant to the point of making satan cringe with disgust, really do for anyone or their family, school, church or company? This is not a test. You aren't compelled to try to find an answer.

For my money, I prefer a truly-humble, from-the-heart type of winner--man or woman. Give me the sincerely thankful winner. And not an arrogant winner who suddenly has a place for God in his or her trophy acceptance and after the camera’s have stopped clicking, goes on with their arrogant lifestyle--talking down to people who are less than they are and seizing every opportunity to make themselves look great.

My final point is this. Depending on if you believe in God or not, consider this: Here is God, the Creator, Master of the universe and all living things, maker of all things and is not just a degree of perfection, but IS perfection. He is everything good, holy, pure, right, just, honest and merciful. His son, Jesus, walked on the earth that He created. Fed 5,000 with five fish and two loaves of bread. Walked on the water, raised the dead (besides Lazarus), spoke to satan in the face and defeated the prince of darkness without one lightning bolt or earthquake.

And if anyone could be arrogant or deserves the right to be arrogant, it would be God. But you know what? He isn't arrogant. Talk about true class. That’s our Heavenly Father.


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    • Robert Sacchi profile image

      Robert Sacchi 

      5 months ago

      I understand your point. I would point out the winner praising the loser's performance is natural. Would a winner want to admit the team they just defeated wasn't even in the same class? There is also a difference between how a winner should speak if the gave was a blow out and a game they won with an extra point kick with 5 seconds left on the clock.

    • kenneth avery profile imageAUTHOR

      Kenneth Avery 

      6 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama


      First and foremost, thanks for your supportive comment. I am a bad loser as well. If you beat me, just get it over with and say it. "You lost, Ken," and move on. Do not patronize me with such fake statements as, "whale of a Monopoly game, Ken," I know when you say this, you do not mean it. So why say it?

      And I used to play checkers. And some Monopoly when my daughter lived with us before she married. She was hard to beat.

      Thanks again!


    • charlesxavier04 profile image


      6 years ago from London

      Excellent Hub Kenneth. These sort of unthinking, patronising comments really rile me! I'm a very sore loser - even if it's a board game, I play to win at all costs!

      Do you play any sport, Kenneth?


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