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10 reasons why people discourage you

Updated on July 26, 2014


I woke up this morning and I asked myself why do people discourage me and so many unclear reasons came up. I still can’t say why or what caused the sudden interest in a topic like this, I had to meditate on the topic in order to filter some reasons. For a short while, reasons began to bang on my brain, I chose the simplest 10 and started typing. Before we start let me ask you, do you think someone you care about can be a setback? Sounds strange and crazy right, well reserve your comments lets see what they will be when you are done.

1) They Don’t Want You To Succeed

Do you believe in the existence of sadists? I do, there are people that don’t want you to succeed because of some hidden reasons such as sadism, jealousy, intimidation, etc. There are people that derive serious joy from your sorrows, I can't really explain how or why because am not one and most sadists doesn’t show or say they are sadist and you can't accurately tell because it’s a secret feeling and most times it’s hidden. There are also people that are too jealous to see you succeed may be because they solely believe that everybody that are of the same age with them should have the same accomplishments or achievements in life forgetting that help can come from anybody regardless of age.

On the other hand there are people that have this problem of low self esteem, I don’t know whether it’s natural or something built on envy but this problem makes them to want you to be on the same level with them so they won’t feel intimidated in anyway and your success intimidates them.

2) They Are Scared Of Seeing You Fail

Most times love can cloud your judgments. The affection your loved ones has for you, can make them discourage you from making certain decisions that has the risk of failure forgetting that success is mostly achieved through trial and error. I won’t really say it’s their fault because it has to do with love it’s up to you to carry on with your plans, if you can handle the effects if it doesn’t go your way or to succumb to their suggestions. I’m not saying you shouldn’t ask or listen to people’s opinion before making decisions, remember two good heads are better than one but also remember that over doing things isn’t safe.

3) They Want You To Work Less

This also is partially based on love and stress. People that care about you doesn’t like to see you over work yourself even if you are working to raise funds they will benefit from. Let me use my mom for an example, her office is like 20 miles away from her marital home so she had to rent an apartment closer to her office. She works up to a hundred and twenty hours a week and she travels a lot, I love her so much and I will do anything in my power to reduce her troubles and still keep her happy even if it means to encourage her to quit her job for another one that is less stressful, closer to the house and at same time pays well not minding it’s her career not mine, so you see how I’m an obstacle to her success because of love and stress( not proud of it but I can't just help it).

4) People Are Scared Of Being Alone

Yes people are scared of being alone, let’s say you live in Vegas. You happen to be invited to an interview at New York and you later got the job, visualize the distance. Lets say you are not single or that you are living with your grannies and they are yet to retire, they love you but doesn’t want you to leave because they don’t want to live or stay alone, do you see the only option left? They won’t like to leave their job, they will use their persuasive abilities will be used in a situation like this. They will try to convince you not to take the job, sounds selfish right? Let’s leave the selfish part for another day, I have already made my point.

5) They Are Scared Of Change

Believe it or not, some people are scared of change. You have the intention of bringing change if your plan comes through and unfortunately you have someone that is scared of change and the person is close to you, he/she will definitely play the part of discouraging you to carry on with your plans, let me make this more vivid with an example.

You recently noticed that you are good in computer programming and you want to go fully into programming and its quite obvious that you can make a living through programming and maybe create new things that will extinct the older ones or change the neighborhood in one way or the other. You happen to tell your friend and he is the type that doesn’t like change, he will encourage you not to go ahead with your plans because of his so called ‘fright of development’.

6) Scared Of Becoming A Helper

Some people are lazy, they tend to withdraw in certain situations. In a situation where they will become of help and they are not ready to help. Let’s say we know each other and I want to start a business but I can’t fund it and you can but you don’t want to and I happen to ask for your help because you don’t want to help, you will convince me not to start the business and because I don’t know why you are discouraging me I might consider not continuing with my plans or even look for help elsewhere.

7) People Are Conformist

I know the question you are asking yourself right now is how? Most people are conformist, they like how things are, they like and live by rules even when twists won’t attract penalties. So when someone they know want to do sometime abnormal, abnormal in the sense that nobody has done it or ever thought of the idea, they tend to discourage the person because that is not how its normally done. Imagine when a Caucasian male falls in love with a female Negro, in most cases their parents won’t endorse the marriage because of the racial indifference.

It’s more normal when two Caucasians or Negros marry each other than when they inter marry, they will discourage and persuade you to call off the wedding arrangements because they don’t want to be the first or among the few that will have hybrid grandchildren.

8) People Respect Those In Authority

People in authority are respected and trusted more than people ordinary people. You have an idea of bringing great changes but you need people’s endorsement. Normally, when you have plans or an idea, you first share it with the person closest to you, someone you can trust. Let’s say the idea you have is to construct an automobile that runs on water and you later shared this dream of yours with that close acquaintance of yours, it sounds a bit crazy but not as crazy as human beings flying from one location to another with an airplane.

You won’t be encouraged that much, you might possibly be discouraged but if you are the “ceo” of Mercedes Benz it won’t sound dork because you have authority and the fund to carryout such project.

9) They Don’t Want You To Expose Their insecurity

They won’t like people to know how insecure they feel. I have a friend that is as bright as I but he has this problem of feeling insecure, he has been turning down opportunities to take part in a project even when it’s a good one with sufficient fund but because he doesn’t want to be controlled or told what to do and he always wants to be the leader of everything he takes part in. I didn’t take it that serious till the day I asked for his opinion to help me figure out a hindrance, the idea I had was ok in fact a great idea.

But I was flabbergasted when I heard what he said but I’ve known him for a long time so I knew it wasn’t because of any hard feelings, that made me not to take his opinion at that moment serious, I just went ahead and did what I had in mind and I was lucky it turned out positive. He is my friend and we have gone a long way together but he discouraged me because he wasn’t happy that it was my idea not his, and he likes to feel superior over everybody.

10) Out Of Ignorance

People tend to discourage you out of ignorance because they have no idea where you are heading to, the fact that they are clueless of what you are saying makes them confuse but instead of them to simply tell you that they don’t understand what you are saying, because of their pride they discourage you seeing it as the only option. I won’t say it’s their fault that they are clueless, age can be a reason, most of the things done in their young age doesn’t exist anymore but in a way it’s their fault because they don’t make any effort to keep up. For an instance what was been taught in the 60’s and 70’s are not the same now because of evolution and some parents doesn’t know this but it wont hurt if you say “I’m are lost”.

I hope that with these few basic points of mine, I have made it clear that the people you love cause a hindrance to your success so you have to be extremely careful when it comes to decision making and life is all about making decisions. One last thing, I thank you for reading up to this very point hope what you read will help you.


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    • profile image


      3 years ago

      Great examples, except how the term Negro was used as if it is a race, African and Caucasian are considered to be ethnicities.

    • Emmyboy profile image


      4 years ago from Nigeria

      Wow! I like the points you made! You made a lot of sense.

      I like the part you mentioned something about Ignorance. I can understand why some people are ignorant till they die!

      Keep it up and keep them coming.

      Voted Up too and sharing it too immediately!

    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 

      4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      This IS so true. That is why we should choose our associates VERY, VERY CAREFULLY. Larry Winget, business motivator, stated it best, successful people hang out with other successful people while unsuccessful people hang out with their kind. In other words, like ATTRACTS like. Great hub, VOTED it UP!


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